Why? I'm breaking it all down in this video,
so stay tuned.
Hey, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a lawyer and a narcissist negotiator and
during the negotiations, it's so crazy because
they're coming back, they're hating you,
they're loving you, they're using all this craziness
during the negotiations and
what in the heck is going on?
It's actually such a mind game and
you try to figure out what is happening.
I am going to try to explain it all to you as I understand it.
By the way, if you haven't subscribed to this channel,
feel free to do so now, subscribe,
hit that notification bell, so that you can get more information
on how to negotiate with narcissists if you'd like.
Okay, so here's what's going on as I understand it,
the narcissists have no sense of self,
in a way, they're almost like hiding this little tiny,
like scared self inside, they're almost like two people.
There's like this inner person that is scared,
that they're hiding, and then there's this outer self
that is like the one that they show the world and
in some ways it's almost like this huge dichotomy and
it's very confusing, it’s very torturous.
It's torturous to the people around them,
it's actually very tortuous for themselves as well and
the narcissists that I've been close to,
sometimes in moments when they’re kind of being honest,
they'll even say that, like there's this,
there's this inner person, there's this outer person,
I think it's kind of confusing for themselves as well,
especially the covert narcississts, the coverts will actually
even be honest about their own depression,
they'll tell you that they're depressed.
Sometimes they'll even tell you that
they feel terrible about themselves, but
it's kind of crazy because they treat you horribly,
like the whole time you're in this relationship,
I mean, I was in a business sort of relationship with one,
not even a romantic relationship, but I mean,
the whole time they're terrible to you.
I mean, it’s awful and you think to yourself
why would anybody want to continue to be in a relationship
with this person who's terrible the whole time,
calling you names sometimes.
I mean I didn't have that, but sometimes
these relationships are really horrible to you and
sometimes I think like there's this disconnect
where they don't even like remember how
they've treated you sometimes and then you leave.
I was actually just talking to one of my former clients
to interview her for a podcast,
she finally left her husband and
he's like calling her up saying things like
“No one will ever love you like I do”
“Your family doesn't love you like I do” and
they're like so desperate to get you back,
so desperate to have that,
I mean, they're desperate for your supply,
they're desperate for that attention from you,
they're desperate for whatever adulation they got from you,
they're desperate for whatever it is
that you were doing for them,
they're desperate for how good you make them look,
they're desperate for you to be around them,
they hate being alone a lot of the time,
but in a lot of ways, they also hate your vulnerability,
like, if you are vulnerable around them,
the fact that you love them.
You also become the perfect person to blame
when things go wrong for them.
You've allowed certain behaviors a lot of times,
you've like been imprinted to kind of gone along to get along.
So you've kind of allowed a lot probably to go by because
you just didn't want to rock the boat probably, a lot of times
you feel like sometimes it's never going to end.
If you want to know more about
when does the narcissist game finally end?
you can definitely check out my video called
“When does the narcissist game finally end?”
you thought you could love them enough,
you thought you could give them enough,
you thought that they’d see your worth
if you gave them enough,
you thought that you would pour yourself into them,
you thought that eventually they’d acknowledge you,
eventually they would appreciate all that you did for them, right?
This is sounding all too familiar.
Give me a “Yes” in the comments right now.
I've been there. Not in a romantic sense,
but I've been there in a business sense,
they love that you were there as their punching bag,
they really thought that you would never leave,
they really thought that you would always stay and
so when you actually do leave,
or when you actually do fight back,
or when you actually do stand up to them,
sometimes it's really shocking for them.
So when you do start to slay, by the way,
you know, my S.L.A.Y program,
strategy, leverage, anticipating and focusing on you,
for those of you who haven't checked out my S.L.A.Y program,
then that's when they'll start to be like “Whoa” and
they'll start to like love bomb, or
start to fight back or they'll start to
you know, because it's really going to like,
bring them off kilter at least at first because
they'll be like, “Whoa, what's going on here?”
Because they won't believe it,
they may say they've changed,
all of these things; don't believe any of that,
don't believe the future faking, please.
They haven't changed.
I mean I had a client recently,
he was like, “Oh maybe I could just still date him,
maybe I could keep him in the love bomb phase”.
No, you can't.
Don't do that. You can't do that.
They kind of hate you because
they hate themselves and they hate you for loving them.
They’re like, “How could you love someone who is so horrible?”
Like, they hate themselves.
There's a part of themselves that really has this self-hatred,
because they have no sense of self.
So, that's what's really going on as far as I know and
that's why it's almost impossible to negotiate with them
unless you employ the strategies that I teach and
if you want to know more about those strategies,
definitely grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
Get the support you need in my free Facebook group
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
If you like this video, I'll give it a like,
make sure you share it so that other people
can understand why they hate you and
also love you at the same time.
It's also confusing and it's really crazy and
they constantly move goal posts during the negotiation,
it's really super sick unless you develop
that super strong strategy, okay?
That's why I teach you what I teach you and
make sure you subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell
so you can get more tips and tricks.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
Thanks so much for stopping by.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video!