Wait a minute.
Do you wanna hear out about our beef?
Yeah. Well we got beef I'm told.
Okay. So,
Okay, So
I'm trying to remember when this was.
Yes! Okay.
When I had to host,
I think it was the BET awards.
Mm hmm.
Remember I had to come
and do Conan O'Brien.
Had to?
Got to.
Whatever.
Let's do another take of that.
(people laughing)
What do you mean
'I had to go do Conan O'Brien'?
I had to.
(surprised laughing)
They put that shit on the press.
(Everyone laughing)
I was like, motherfucker.
The fuck am I gonna?
That's what my wife says.
My wife says 'I had to do Conan O'Brien'.
(amused laughter)
I was like, I was like,
For Christ's sake.
I was like,
what the fuck am I gonna
talk to this motherfucker about, man?
But I wanted to do it
'cause I was like, kind of,
all the white people like him.
And I was like,
(surprised laughter)
he seems really funny.
Now, every time I sell you,
you was really funny.
I was like,
I didn't know you was
as tall as you was too.
And I was like, damn this guy's tall
but I don't know who your,
the producer was.
Yeah.
I don't know if y'all friends
but he was so fuckin' weird.
And I told-
Who? I don't know who you talked to.
He's was a weird motherfucker.
He, I don't remember this guy,
Wait! Okay.
but I just remember being
him making me just
not uncomfortable, but-
Oh, You mean the guy
that talks to you before the show?
Yeah.
I wanted to beat him up.
I wanted to-
Describe him physically.
He's like, he looked like,
he looks like John Schaefer.
He looked, he had
he baldheaded, had glasses.
I just remember him being nervous.
I think he had a condition.
I don't think he worked on our show.
(quiet laughter)
I think he a condition.
Yeah, it sounds like-
I think you talked to someone in the hallway
who said-
No!
Lets go over your notes for Conan.
Yeah. He was like-
And then he ran down the hall and-
And he was insisting to me,
insisting on stuff.
And I was like,
no, don't talk about that.
Don't talk about that.
Yeah.
And then he said,
well, he's like 'you have a boyfriend'.
And I was like, no
we were just starting
to talk to each other.
Sure. Yeah.
So I was like, no,
don't mention that at all.
Cuz he was already squeamish
about datin' me anyway.
So he was, I was like, no,
don't mention that.
And what's the fucking
first thing that you said?
Ohh
you asked about a boyfriend,
Uh huh.
And then I'm the type of person
that doesn't lie.
I really don't lie.
Right, right.
It's very hard.
Right.
So I was like,
oh we kind of
and I think I said something like
oh I think I'm kind of mad at him
or something like that.
Uh oh.
Something I said, but I was like
in my head trying to answer you
and like, what the fuck?
Why did you fuckin' ask me that?
(lightly chuckling)
So the next day
this motherfucker sends me
cuz, after that happened,
every
news thing
picked up-
Oh.
Leslie Jones is dating someone.
This motherfucker sends
every article that mentions it,
Ah.
mentions him, to my phone.
Damn.
And he was like
and especially sent the clip,
from your fuckin' show!
And I was like,
he sends me the clip.
But my people was like,
he's a bitch.
(surprised laughter)
He's a bitch.
The fact that he sent you articles,
that means that motherfucker went
and looked for these.
That's bitch shit.
Yeah.
So I shouldn't have been with him anyway.
Yeah. I did you a favor
first of all-
You did, you did but-
I will say this-
But fuck off
because you fucked it up.
No, I will say this, Leslie.
I never, ever
if I knew that someone
didn't wanna talk about something
Oh I know, I know.
I never did.
Cuz that would really upset me.
And it upsets me to know that-
(gasping laugh)
That, seriously!
No!
I don't like that.
No it's okay.
Because like you said
you did do me a favor.
Yeah. Well, yeah,
but I don't like that.
I don't, I don't like that,
you were asked something that you
didn't wanna be asked
cuz that's not-
Well, I played it off really well.
I'm sure you did.
Don't feel bad.
The guy's gone,
Well,
And he should have been.
Hmm
Maybe I'd like to
Hang out with him.
No, no fuck that.
I bought him a first class ticket to come out
(wheezing laughter)
and he didn't show up.
Oh
Fuck That guy.
All right. Well I did the right thing then.
You did!
He was, he was just-
I gotta figure out who this producer is.
I know.
'Cause you're not supposed
Yo I'm wantin to-
You're not supposed to do that.
If someone says I don't wanna talk about something-
I know, you're right.
You're not supposed to do it.
You're very good about that.
And he was really forceful.
Like he was,
I just remember thinking
this, this guy.
He said he worked with you
for a long ass time.
Ah.
He was the guy, he had,
I just remember his glasses.
And I remember him having a condition,
cuz he told me about his condition-
A condition?
(quiet laughter)
And he's telling you about his condition?
Yeah, he was saying-
Are you sure this wasn't a ghost?
No, he was saying-
What kind of show, are we running?
He said that he was,
cuz I was like,
are you like
ADHD or something or?
Then he was like,
he said something that he had.
And I was like,
yeah, that's shit's annoying-
You know, I gotta say
what kind a show am I running?
(gasping laughter)
Yeah.
Where I say, Hey, we need a segment producer
to talk to Leslie Jones.
Who've we got?
'I'll do it boss'!
(amused laughter)
All right.
I don't know who it was.
All right. Here's what you gotta do.
First of all, make sure that if
she's uncomfortable with something
I don't know, I don't-
That it's the first thing outta my mouth!
Okay. Got it.
Second of all.
And this is important.
Do you have eczema?
(Roaring laughter)
Yeah, I have eczema.
Good!
Make sure you mention it to her.
I don't-
What the fuck is that all about?
I don't know who I
I just remember thinking
this fuckin' guy, man.
But he said
he had been with the show forever.
He was a big fan of mine.
Well-
I just remember him being short,
baldheaded, glasses.
He looked like John, John Schaefer like
Okay, I'm gonna take care of this.
(gasping laughter)
I'm just gonna say
some shit's gonna go down now.
you're gonna get a finger in a box
On your doorstep.
(roaring laughter)
There's gonna be
a hawks head-
Now I feel bad
on your lawn.
I should have never mentioned this guy.
Poor guy.
Oh. Well anyway-
Oh my God.
That's so fuckin' funny.