peace be with you friends i know what
it's like
to hit the wall i mean that now
physically
i'd heard about hitting the wall from
athletes and so on but it never
happened to me until it was about 25
years ago
with a buddy of mine i was doing a bike
ride a bike trip
from paris to rome i'd studied in paris
he studied in rome and so we set up
you know places to stop along the way
and we undertook this sort of epic
journey
we did about i don't know 70 80 miles a
day
going from paris to rome well this is
one fine day it's kind of right in the
middle of the trip
we're south of lyon so we're toward the
south of france
and we've probably been riding i don't
know 15 20 miles already
and of course this has been going on for
days um
and at that point i hit the wall
and what that's like again i never
experienced it before
it's not like you just you're getting a
little tired it's not like boy i'm
feeling a little bit
worn out it's you can't go on
suddenly i just i couldn't pump my legs
anymore i
i couldn't move my legs i just had to
stop the bike
i put the bite against a tree i remember
i sat down and we always had plenty of
water with us and we also had these big
long
french baguettes you know these french
loaves of bread
and so i sat down for maybe 20 minutes
and i just drank
water and i ate bread and then i could
feel
strength coming back got back on the
bike and off i went
well i that's really struck me that
moment i never experienced it before
when you realize in the most visceral
way
how you need sustenance because rarely
do we push our bodies to that
limit you know well that day i did and i
realized
in my in my bones how much i need
food and drink well i always think of
that when we come across this reading
it's our first reading for this weekend
from the first book of kings it has to
do with elijah
and remember the story that preceded
this elijah had confronted the priests
of ba'al up on mount carmel
they made their sacrifice he made his
god refused them he accepted elijah
then elijah kills the 450 priests of
ba'al
at which point the king and queen come
after him
they send the troops of their army after
elijah so here he is this one person
fleeing from the whole military
apparatus of the state
he's fleeing for days and days and
finally he reaches this point of of near
despair
he went a day's journey into the desert
until he came to a broom tree and sat
beneath it i always think of that
because i sat
against a tree when i was having this
hit the wall experience
and listen though he prayed for death
saying
this is enough o lord take my life i'm
no better than my father's
elijah had hit the wall
not so much physically but spiritually
and psychologically
he was completely out of steam he just
didn't see a way to go on
what happens an angel touched him
ordered him to get up and eat
he looked there at his head and there
was a hearth cake and a jug of water
after he ate and drank he lay down again
but the angel again
said to him take and eat and so he does
and then he's able to make his long
journey to horeb the mountain of god
okay we're dealing here of course with
powerfully symbolic language
are there times and maybe i invite
everyone listening to me right now
to call this to mind are there times
when
spiritually and psychologically you have
hit the wall
where you feel exactly as he did
sitting under this tree and thinking
lord just take my life i mean i
can't go on any further
i couldn't go on physically any further
on that in that road south of lyon
25 years ago and there are times i think
when we all feel that way
spiritually
what do we need not so much food from
this world that's why it's important
that the
angel tells him it's a symbolic
reference to the fact that the food
we're talking about here
is food from another world it's
food from another plane of existence
we need desperately sometimes
to eat and drink of this higher heavenly
food
if we are to go on and everybody it's
just as simple as that in the experience
i had of hitting the wall
there is something so elemental and
simple
about it there's there's no complexity
or subtlety it's like i'm out of gas
and i need more i don't know if you ever
that experience i never have of
being in the car when it absolutely runs
out of gas i've had friends who told me
about
what a sinking feeling that is where
there's just
nothing you can do the car is stopped
period it needs
gas well sometimes spiritually
we reach exactly that point
what do we need food
not earthly food but heavenly food
okay all of that is a preparation for
our gospel reading now keep in mind
we're going through that
sixth chapter of john that magnificent
passage
where jesus talks about the eucharist
the bread of life
and now listen he refers to himself
as the bread that has come down from
heaven
bread he's not talking about dessert
he's not talking about garnish he's not
talking about
some side course
but the most elemental basic sort of
food you can imagine
and mind you bread not ordinary bread
but bread that has come down from heaven
bread from a transcendent source
amen amen i say to you
whoever believes has eternal life
i am the bread of life
your ancestors ate the manna in the
desert but they died
this is the bread that comes down
from heaven so that one may eat it
and not die think of the manna that the
lord gave the israelites in the desert
it's a bit like the
the french bread and the water that i
drank that ate and drank that day i hit
the wall
yeah it it got me going that day it got
me through that day
and then the next morning i had to eat
and drink again
it it sustained me for a few more hours
that's the way it goes with earthly
sustenance
but the bread that jesus is talking
about
listen now the bread that he is is not
bread just for the day
just for a few hours just for the moment
it's the bread
that lasts unto eternal life
do you want to live forever
do you want to live in this properly
heavenly realm
you need this sustenance
i am the living bread that came down
from heaven
whoever eats this bread will live
forever think about that everybody for a
moment
he who eats this bread will live forever
as i said the bread that we eat in this
world sustains us for
very short bursts of time
i have the most satisfying meal for
dinner but
the next morning i am hungry again that
bread and that food lasts for a very
short time
but we've got within us a desire not
just for life in this world we've got a
desire to live forever
if we want that life
we have to eat period it's not that
complicated
in a way everybody it's just that
simple now again bread bread we're
dealing here with food at the elementary
level
we're dealing here with a kind of
spiritual physics
you want to live in the eternal realm
you've got to eat the food
that prepares you for that that sustains
just that life in you
see think of jesus here everybody not
just as a teacher i know we're tempted
all the time
in our culture to do just that because
we can handle that
this spiritual teacher that spiritual
teacher i take this from
you know this sufi mystic and this from
this jewish rabbi and this from the
hindu scholar and this from the buddhist
and then jesus oh he's great too
teaches me wonderful spiritual truths
that's not it that's not christianity
yes he is indeed a teacher and yes
indeed we can and should distill from
his
preaching these great spiritual truths
but when see push comes to shove
who is jesus
he's like a he's like a field of force
he's like an energy source
it's not just his teaching that matters
it's
christ himself who matters
we don't just abide by him or listen to
him we eat him and we drink him
and when we're sitting against that tree
as i did in lyon
as elijah did the broom tree and we just
say lord i
can't go on
that's precisely the moment when we
realize
our hunger for this bread of life
as i record these words we're about to
begin
we the bishops of the united states a
three-year process of eucharistic
renewal prompted in part by
the fact that 70 of even catholics do
not believe in the real presence
and that now for many decades something
like
70 of catholics or more
stay away from mass on a regular basis
suppose i i was against that that tree
in south of leo in france i i'd hit the
wall i couldn't go on
and i said yeah i'm i'm not going to eat
and drink anything
well i would have been stuck there
what possesses us everyone to think yeah
i know i've hit the wall spiritually i
know i'm kind of lost spiritually but
i'm gonna stay away from the one
food source that will sustain me for
eternal life
that's how ludicrous it is my fellow
catholics
when we stay away from the bread of life
i often thought of that when i was doing
pastor work full-time
and people would come and they'd say i
don't know father i just feel
kind of lost and i've lost a sense of
meaning and purpose and i'm feeling
depressed a lot and i'm sort of just
wandering my way through life
and i say well do you come to mass
regularly
nah i haven't been to mass in ages well
duh i mean it's not that complicated
you've hit the wall and you're staying
away from the bread of life
let me just leave you with an image as i
close i've used this in a book i wrote
on the eucharist
but my experience being in in rome one
time distributing communion
at a big papal mass i just went out with
this you know giant crowd and
saint peter's square it was all the
people in this
typical chaotic italian manner you know
pressing up to me with their hands
extended
you know padres you know please
father they're reaching out for the
eucharist
and i thought yeah that's a little
melodramatic but
that's the right attitude toward the
bread of life that we
with a kind of spiritual yearning
even desperate yearning reach out
for the bread that will sustain us to
life eternal
spend a little time as i mentioned with
john chapter six
and think about this passage especially
when you hit the wall
spiritually this is the bread
that alone can sustain you and god bless
you
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