English is crazy and what other language
do you recited a play but play at a
recital or shipped by truck but send
cargo by ship we have noses that run and
feed that smell and though writers write
hammers definitely don't ham you fill in
a form by filling it out and your alarm
goes off by going on and why is it that
a slim chance and a fat chance are the
same thing but a wise man and a wise guy
are opposites but this is where it gets
even more confusing if you speak of a
box in the plural is boxes yet the
plural of ox should be oxen not axes
then one is a goose and two are called
geese yet the plural of moose should
never be Meese and I speak of a foot and
you show me your feet but I give a boot
what a pair be called beat and we talk
of a brother and also a brethren but
though we say mother we never say methan
the masculine pronouns are he his in him
but imagine the feminine shishas and
shim and I take it you already know of
tuff and bow and coffee and dough beware
have heard a dreadful word that looks
like beard and sounds like bird and dead
it said like bed not bead for goodness
sakes don't call it deed watch out for
meat and great and threat they rhyme
with sweet and straight and depth and
here is not a match for there and dear
and fear for bear and pare and then
there's dose and rose and lose just look
them up and goose and choose and cork
and work and card and ward and font and
front and word and sword and do and go
and thwart and Clark come on I've hardly
made a start
a dreadful language well man alive I
learned to talk it when I was 5 but to
write it the more I try I still haven't
learnt it at 25
you