- EVERY OCTOBER WE SEND OUR WRITER AMY
THROUGH A HAUNTED HOUSE,
BUT THIS YEAR WE DECIDED NOT TO MAKE HER DO IT ALONE.
I SENT MY BRAVE EXECUTIVE, ANDY--
ANDY LASSNER-- WITH HER,
AND ANDY, I SAID, "YOU'RE GONNA DO IT"--
WE SURPRISED HIM AND SAID,
"AS SOON AS THE SHOW'S OVER, YOU'RE GOING,"
AND HE REALLY DIDN'T BELIEVE US,
BUT HE AND AMY WENT TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS'
HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS,
AND--OH, MY GOD, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
[eerie music]
- JUST GO. [screams]
JUST DO IT. JUST SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY.
HOLLYWOOD. SAY IT. JUST SAY IT.
- I GOT IT--
HI, WE'RE AT UNIVERSAL STUDIOS'
HOLLYWOOD HALLOWEEN HORROR NIGHTS,
AND WE'RE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH "THE WALKING DEAD" MAZE.
ARE YOU READY, ANDY? - I'M GOOD.
[both scream]
- ANDY'S [bleep]. - LET'S GO.
- WAIT.
WE KNOW THERE'S SOMETHING. WE KNOW THEY'RE COMING.
- I SEE THIS, SO THIS ISN'T SCARY.
- OH, THEY'RE SCARY.
- OKAY. HONEY...
OKAY, THIS--IS IT ALL OUTSIDE?
- NO, NO, NO. PROBABLY NOT.
LOOK AT-- - I CAN'T.
- [screams]
DON'T SHOVE ME IN FRONT OF-- DON'T--
- IT'S THE SUDDEN...
- THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
- OKAY, HI. OH. YOU'RE NICE.
[both scream]
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GOING.
OKAY. OH, MY GOD, THEY'RE WEIRD.
OH, NO. OKAY.
- [screams]
- IT'S SO STRANGE. OKAY, I SEE YOU.
I SEE YOU. OKAY.
- WE'RE GOOD.
THERE'S ONE IN HERE.
- I SEE IT.
- THIS IS NOT GOOD. - THIS IS FINE.
- OKAY, WE'RE GOOD. - OH, THERE'S MORE LIKE THIS.
- OH.
- THAT'S NOT REAL.
- THAT'S WHERE I GOT MY--
[both scream]
- [bleep]!
ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?
LET'S... - [moaning]
HE'S GONNA COME BACK.
HE'LL COME BACK. HE'LL COME BACK.
- [screams] STOP IT!
[bleep]!
THIS STARTS.
- WHY ARE YOU HIDING BEHIND ME?
YOU'RE A MAN. BE A MAN. BE A MAN.
- JUST LET ME HOLD. I'M NOT--
I AM A MAN, AND I'M GONNA HOLD YOU.
- THEY'RE SOMEBODY IN HERE.
- NO, HE'S GOOD.
- [screams] - WHAT?
- [screaming]
- STOP IT! STOP IT!
STOP IT!
OKAY, LET'S JUST GO. LET'S JUST GO.
[both scream]
- OKAY.
ANDY, GO. JUST GO.
JUST WALK. JUST WALK. JUST WALK.
WE'RE GOOD. - OKAY, GOOD.
JUST QUICK. WE'RE ALMOST DONE.
[both scream]
NOT YOU!
ARE WE ALMOST DONE?
- IS THERE SOMEBODY REAL IN HERE?
- THERE'S NO ONE REAL. - OKAY.
SOMETHING BAD--
[both scream]
- STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!
- [moans]
- OKAY. - WE'RE GOOD.
[both scream]
- ARE WE DONE? IS THIS DONE, ALMOST?
- OH, MY GOD.
[both scream]
- RELAX. WE'RE GOOD.
- STOP IT.
[both scream]
OH, JUST STOP IT NOW!
- ANDY, DON'T--
OKAY. THERE'S DEFINITELY--
- OKAY. I SEE IT. OH, YOU.
HI.
[both scream]
NO! YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?
- THAT WAS NOT-- WE'RE GOOD.
IT'S A TRAIL--
DID WE GO THE WRONG--
[both scream]
STOP IT NOW!
IS THIS A WRONG WAY?
- OH, WE'RE GOOD. - OKAY. STUPID.
IT'S FINISHED. WE'RE GOOD.
- YOU DID GOOD, ANDY. I'M PROUD OF YOU.
- YOU DID TOO. - YOU DID GOOD.
- WHY DO PEOPLE PAY FOR THAT? OKAY.
HAPPY, ELLEN? [laughs mockingly]
[cheers and applause]
- [chuckling]
OH...
YOU LITERALLY-- YOU HID BEHIND A GIRL.
YOU ACTUALLY-- "STOP IT. STOP IT NOW."
[laughter]
THANK YOU FOR STARTING A NEW TRADITION.
WE'RE GONNA SEND BOTH OF YOU THROUGH THE HAUNTED HOUSE
EVERY YEAR NOW.
[cheers and applause]
WE'LL BE BACK WITH LADY ANTEBELLUM AFTER THIS.