- Alright, have we got? - Jumper. He won't talk to anyone.
Do not jump. You have people here who love you.
You have incendiary devices here who love you.
Sparky?!
Yeah, sure... It's Sparky.
He loves you. I can see it in his fuse.
Sparky, I'm coming down!
You did the right thing. You have a lotta wall to break.
No, no, no! Stop, stop!
I was at the Barracks, and they're making a troop.
A brand new kind of troop!
Why didn't you say so? That's huge!
Stupid good-for-nothing traps!
C'mon!
Most people look out at the sea, and see nothing but emptiness.
Me? I see untold treasures. Vast stores of gold and elixirs.
In the future, when people hear 'Christo'
they'll think...
There's nothing out there.
No one is crazy to believe you! That's the dealio. Chet's always right.
I believe him.
Christo, our clan is in desperate need of resources.
I'm willing to gamble on a dreamer.
One dreamer at your service, your grace.
Your Village is counting on you!
Go forth in your mighty chariot!
- Yay! Stay safe! - Have fun!
Ah, the open sea! What adventures await?
Ah, the open sea! What a horrible adventure.
Day one...
Day 27. I'd turn back if I knew how to steer this thing.
Oh, is that land?
How's it that I'm going so fast and...
A seagull? You wish to join me on my path to riches and fame.
Sorry, but the adventurer's journey is a lonely one. Farewell!
I take it back, I don't want to be alone!
Land!
No gold, no elixir, just hay and...
Ew, is that manure?
Let's take a pass, okay?
Look! All manner of things we've never seen before.
Imagine the riches that'll be ours when we conquer their primitive...
- Maybe the next island. - Yeah!
Yes... Yes, I agree!
A land of riches. Our long wait's been rewarded!
In the name of the Queen Archer, I claim this land for...
Insane Clan Posse 11273!
Christo? What are you doing? This is our Village.
But... how?
Since you left, Chet upgraded everything.
Don't feel bad, you did something too.
You brought back a seagull!
My life's work. Worthless. Completely worthless.
What have I been eating?
That's the dealio. Chet's always right.
So, who's the new guy being created?
Or girl?
Still can't see anything.
Would someone call me when something cool happens?
Look at this Village. So neglected.
Slayer32 hasn't looked at it in weeks. He should be ashamed.
Other Clans won't even raid it.
There's no gold to mine...
No elixir to store...
No bombs to light or walls to destroy for this Wall Breaker.
Wall Breaker? I'm a Barbarian.
I just haven't eaten in a year.
All that's left is the white flag of hopelessness.
Won't you open your heart, Slayer32?
What do we need to do for you to care again?
The old saying goes
That it takes a village
But that's darn tough
When all you get is pillaged
We were abandoned
And maybe it was wrong
But we took our broken hearts
And turned out this song
We have no gold
And no elixir
She's so broken down
And we have no one to fix her
Have no one to fix her
Wait! Stop singing! We're being paid attention to.
Loot carts are being collected, bombs are being reset...
Goblins are being washed.
Thanks to Slayer32 for caring again. Things are different now.
This Village isn't neglected. It has hope, and cannons...
It may have been better before.
So lucky. They get to go into battle.
And you. And you. And you. And you.
All done.
It's almost too easy.
Arrogant Princess! You'll be a fair-miss-kebabbed!
I believe this belongs to you, m'lady.
Oh, keep it. I have plenty more to shoot you with.
To remember me.
Julia loves me... She loves me not...
She loves me... She…
MEET ME BY THE RIVER
Have at thee varlot...
What? Julia?!
I'll teach that red rapscallion to corrupt my daughter!
CANNON - JUICER - FIREBALL
You know what happens when red and blue mix: purple!
I don't want to live in a world without you.
But your father won't let you live in a world with me.
Then let's not live.
Huh?
What's going on?
You're both so brave. I was wrong. Clearly you two belong together.
You have my blessing.
So, I guess we're a thing now, hm?
Yeah, no obstacles in our way, no one trying to keep us apart...
- So, uh, what are you into? - I love drawing. Do you draw?
No, I'm mostly into jousting.
I should go back to my Tower now. I've got some things...
Uh, yeah, yeah, me too.
Ow! What the?
Something to remember me by.
It's coming! It's coming! Our new troop is coming!
Oh boy, oh boy...
Welcome!
I guess our new troop doesn't like surprises.
THE END