-Hulu -- it's that thing you steal.
-For 20 years, you've watched the Kardashian family
bicker and squabble over everything.
-I will literally [bleep] you up.
-Now a new show that's also that,
but with a little more structure.
It's "The People's Kourt," with a "K,"
starring Judge Kourtney Kardashian.
♪♪
-Order, order. Order in the "Kourtney."
I'm good at this.
-Watch as she puts her judginess to good use
and tackles the most serious family issues.
-Kim, Khloé, what's the problem?
-Kim stole my makeup artist. -Oh, my God.
I needed him today.
-You're in your Met Gala outfit. No one can even see your face.
Ugh! You're such a diva...
-You're just jealous. -Hmph! Fine.
But the next time you need to use the restroom,
I'm not helping you, okur-r-r-r?
-Wait. For real?! -For real.
-She doesn't pull punches, she doesn't play favorites,
and mostly she just doesn't care,
even with her own mom.
-Mom, why are you suing Kylie and Kendall?
-I'm suing Kylie because she hasn't had her baby yet.
[ Cheers and applause ]
We have a whole marketing PR plan,
and she's costing us money.
-I can't, like, grow it faster, mom.
-Uh, yes, you can. Take it from me.
I had Khloé. I made her in four months.
So do your Kegel exercises and use your vagine.
-Mom, I am. -[ Scoffs ] Whatever.
And, Mom, why are you suing Kendall?
-Well, I'm suing Kendall because she has absolutely no drama.
[ Laughter ]
She won't cause any drama, and it's damaging our brand.
-I'm a Jenner, not a Kardashian.
[ Audience ohhs ]
-And that's something you need to work on, honey.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Ew. This is so cringe. Guilty.
-Who's guilty -- me, Mom, or Kylie?
-I don't care. You pick.
-There's time for more than legal drama
'cause even a judge has to let her hair down,
with Kourtney's boyfriend straight out of the year 2000,
Blink-182's Travis Barker.
-Travis. Travis, baby. -Mm.
-Uh, I have to do my show.
-I can't help it, Your Honor. -Oh, my God.
Did you just call me "Your Honor"?
-Yeah. -Babe.
-Baby. -Baby.
Babe, you're so epic.
-Oh, you're so punk. -Oh, you are.
Oh, will you drum "All the Small Things"
on my ass when we get home? -Yeah.
Hands or sticks?
-Oh, baby. -Baby!
-It's the Kardashian family like you've always seen them before.
Lives will be changed.
Shade will be thrown.
-Okay, Kim, Kanye, what's the problem?
-Hey, fam, I'm sure Kim --
'cause people are always coming after me about when I tweet,
but -- and haaacked me.
-What?
I said Kim haaacked me. [ Laughter ]
-Are you saying "hacked"? -Yeah, bro.
Like, okay, does this even sound like me?
"Who's seen the play 'Wicked'? I've seen it four times."
That ain't me, fam.
-That was you, Kanye. That's your favorite play.
-Okay, fine. I do love that musical.
But what about this one?
"What do I have to do to get a simple Persian rug
with cherub imagery?? Ugh."
That can't be me, fam.
-No, it was you.
That's your favorite rug.
-Okay, fine. It's beautiful.
[ Laughter ]
What about this?
"Wiz Khalifa, I like your pants."
Actually, that was me.
Case dismissed! [ Thumps ]
-Ah. This is so boring.
Bring in my bailiffs and best friends,
Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox.
-Oh, hey, hey. What's up?
[ Chuckles ]
-Wait. Why are we best friends?
-Because our boyfriends have tattoos for necks.
-Oh, right. I love him.
-[ Chuckles ] I love you, too. Oh, yeah.
-I wrote you an Instagram caption, Babe.
-Oh, that's fire. Alright.
-Achingly beautiful boy. -Oh.
-Toxic. -Oh.
-Viral. -Oh.
-Twin flame. Rehab Barbie.
-Oh, I wish I could vape you.
[ Laughter ]
Hey, yo. Hey, yo.
Keep in mind this is coming from Kanye,
but y'all are weird.
[ Laughter ]
-On "The People's Kourt," you never know who's gonna stop by.
♪♪
-Okay, finally, the last case on the docket.
-Hey, Kourtney. It's me -- O.J. Simpson.
You know, "The Juice." I'm your dad's old friend.
Hey, how come y'all don't invite me to anything anymore?
Hey, where's everybody going?
"The People's Kourt" on Hulu.
All judgments are legally binding.
Oh, I don't know about that.
[ Cheers and applause ]