PRESIDENT'S DAY, MOST OF AMERICA HAD THE DAY OFF.
HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD ONE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND, WHAT DOES,
WHAT IS THIS? WHAT DO YOU-- WHAT DOES ONE
NORMALLY DO TO CELEBRATE THIS DAY?
WHAT DO WE DO. >> IT IS A DAY OF QUIET
REFLECTION AND A DAY TO BE THOUGHTFUL ABOUT THE SACRIFICE
THAT EVERY PRESIDENT LIVING OR DEAD, THERE IS LIKE, A LOT OF
MATTRESSES GO ON SALE. THAT'S NOT RIGHT.
>> James: THAT IS WHAT IT IS. >> A LOT OF MATTRESS SALES.
>> James: THAT'S FASCINATING. THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ME UP TO
SPEED. IT'S THAT TIME.
IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS. AND WITH OMICRON NUMBERS FALLING
DRAMATICALLY, HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS ON THE PANDEMIC FRONT.
ACCORDING TO HEALTH OFFICIALS AN 73% OF AMERICANS ARE NOW IMMUNE
TO THE VARIANT WHICH MEANS THEY'RE PRIMED TO FIGHT OFF
OTHER VARIANTS ALSO. GREAT NEWS!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). >> James: IT'S GREAT NEWS.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? LICKING STRANGERS IS BACK, BABY!
WE DID IT. WE DID IT, JUST LIKE ALL THE
EXPERTS SAID. TWO YEARS TO FLATEN THE CURVE.
MOVING ON, TESLA IS NOW RECALLING MORE THAN 500,000
VEHICLES DUE TO A BOOMBOX FEATURE THAT THE GOVERNMENT IS
NOW CALLING UNSAFE. THE FEATURE ALLOWS YOU TO PLAY,
AND THIS IS TRUE, GOAT AND FARTH NOISES OUTSIDE THE VEHICLE.
ACCORDING TO THE GOVERNMENT CARS CAN'T HAVE AN EXTERIOR FARTH
NOISE. JUST SHOWS HOW ECO-FRIENDLY
WE'RE GETTING, DOESN'T IT, EVEN ELECTRIC CARS ARE CUTTING DOWN
ON GAS. NOW ELON MUSK IS PRETTY UPSET
BLAMING THE QUOTE FUN POLICE, THAT IS WHERE THE UNITED STAITLE
IS AS A COUNTRY. STILL FIGHTING THE GLOBAL
PANDEMIC AND A BILLIONAIRE IS MAD THAT HE CAN'T BLAST GOAT
NOISES AT A BUSY INTERSECTION. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY SOUND
EXTERIOR TO YOUR CAR, THAT YOU COULD BLAST, WHAT WOULD YOU
CHOOSE? >> I THINK IT WOULD BE LIKE SOME
KIND OF AN ULTRASONIC FREQUENCY. >> James: RIGHT.
>> THAT SHATTERED GLASS. >> James: WOW.
THAT'S-- THAT'S GOING TO BACK FIRE, ISN'T IT IT.
>> Reggie: YEAH, BUT IT WOULD BE COOL THOUGH.
LIKE SEE STORE WINDOW-- WINDOWS SUDDENLY SHATTER, IT WOULD BE
COOL. >> James: IT WOULD BE COOL.
>> Reggie: I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THAT.
>> James: WHAT ABOUT YOU, IAN? >> PROBABLY THE FART NOISE, I
MEAN HE NAILED IT. >> James: HE NAILED IT.
>> I DON'T AGREE WITH ELON MUSK ON EVERYTHING, BUT YOU KNOW,
EVEN A BROKEN CLOCK, IF IT RANG TWICE A DAY, A FART NOISE, A
FART NOISE IS VERY FUNNY. YOU ARE DRIVING BY TWO OLD
BADDEES IN FANCY HATS. THEY ARE WALKING DOWN THE
STREET, WEARING FANCY HATS, JUST WALKED OUT OF A BEFERG DOFER
GOODMAN AND YOU BLAST A FART NOISE.
(LAUGHTER) YOU'RE DRIVING BY A PRIEST
HAVING A STERN CONVERSATION WITH A KID.
YOU KNOW, HE IS HAVING A STERN CONVERSATION WITH A KID, YOU
PULL UP AND HIT A BUTTON. >> James: THE WEIRD THING IS
AT HOME IN BRITAIN IT IS VERY MUCH A THING, IT ALMOST, ALMOST
T ISN'T, BUT ALMOST PART OF YOUR DRIVING TEST, YOU ARE BASICALLY,
IT IS INGRAINED ON YOU THAT WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING IF SOMEBODY LETS
YOU GO OR YOU KNOW, THEY PULL IN TO LET YOU GO PASSED OR
WHATEVER, YOU JUST GO, YOU GIVE A LITTLE WAVE, JUST A WAVE, A
WAVE. IS THAT POPULAR IN OTHER PARTS
OF AMERICA. BECAUSE IT IS NOT POPULAR IN LOS
ANGELES. >> SOMETIMES PORTLAND OREGON HAD
A BIG WAVE CULTURE. >> James: YEAH, I LOVE THAT.
I LOVE THE WAVE, I LOVE IT. IT IS A SIGN.
>> NO WAVE. >> Reggie: NO, MONTANA IS
OVERWAVE, THEY ARE JUST LIKE-- JUST PASSING BY, ARE YOU
JUST LIKE HEY, YOU ARE ARE A CAR.
>> James: YEAH, THE OVERWAVE IS DIFFICULT, I HAVE BEEN IN
OVERWAVED COMMUNITIES AT TIMES AND AN OVERWAVE, HAVE I BEEN SO
BUSY WAVING I'VE ALMOST CRASHED INTO THE PERSON I'M WAVING TO.
>> DANGER. >> James: YEAH, BUT HERE IN
LOS ANGELES, IT IS A 0 WAVE CULTURE AND I THINK IT IT
DISGUSTING. I REALLY DO.
IT-- I DID IT TO SOMEONE THE OTHER DAY, I WENT LIKE THAT, I
LET THEM GO. NORMALLY WHEN SOMEONE WOULD-- AT
THE WAVE BE BACK AND I WENT, NO, YOU GO, GO ON.
I'M NOT GOING TO, YOU GO. I MEAN-- ALL RIGHT, YOU GO.
AND THE GUY WENT-- AS HE DROVE PASSED ME.
LIKE-- [BLEEP] IDIOT. SO I FOLLOWED HIM.
(LAUGHTER) DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, I JUST
FOLLOWED HIM FOR 11 MINUTES. JUST TO MAKE HIM THINK, HANG ON
A MINUTE. YOU'RE DEALING WITH SOMEONE BORN
AND RAISED WITHIN A WAVE CULTURE.
DO NOT PES WITH A WAFER. >> YEAH.
OTHERWISE I'LL BE DRIVING BY YOUR FUNERAL.
(LAUGHTER). >> James: HEY, WE'VE GOT A NEW
GUINNESS WORLD RECORD TO TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT, AND THIS IS
AMAZING. FOR THE FIRST TIME GENUINELY,
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, IT IS. IT IS AMAZING.
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER A MAN IN YEMEN HAS BALANCED FOUR EGGS ON
TOP OF ONE ANOTHER, END-TO-ENDMENT TAKE A LOOK.
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT.
CAN WE GET HIM ON THE SHOW? >> WE CAN TRY.
>> James: I PROMISE YOU, THAT IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER
SEEN. IT IS AMAZING.
>> INCREDIBLE. >> James: ALSO, BALANCE
BREAKFAST. IT BLOWS MY MIND, THAT.
I FEEL LIKE I'M THE ONLY PERSON WHO IS TRULY JUST THINKING,
MOLLY IS LAUGHING AT ME, I'M LIKE THIS GUY IS A ROCK STAR.
>> DOING ONE OF THEM, DOING IT ONE OF THEM IS CRAZY.
>> James: BUT ALSO LOOK AT THE GUY, SITTING IN THE BACKGROUND.
HOW WOULD HE EVEN SIT DOWN, I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN
AROUND THAT, I WOULD JUST BE GOING, STOP IT.
IT IS LIKE HE IS WATCHING ENKANTO FOR THE 9th TIME.
WE'VE GOT, NOW LOOK. WE'VE GOT SOME EGGS.
(APPLAUSE) NOW I'M NOT SAYING, I'M BEING
OPTIMISTIC, BUT I GOT SIX, OKAY. SO GIVE EVERYONE A MINUTE TO
WAKE UP ANYONE IN THE HOUSE WHO IS ASLEEP.
CUZ THIS IS THE REAL LIKE, WHERE WERE YOU.
WHERE WERE YOU. IAN, YOU GOT SOME EGGS.
REG, DO YOU GOT ANY EGGING. >> Reggie: I JUST GOT SOME,
YEAH. >> James: CAN'T BREAK A RECORD
WITHOUT BREAKING EGGS. LET'S GO.
>> James: I THINK THE MUSIC IS
ACTUAL HELY PUTTING ME OFF. I ACTUALLY THINK-- I
REALLY-- CAN I-- I AM GOING TO HAVE TO ASK-- WHAT WE ARE DOING
HERE IS QUITE EXTRAORDINARY. AND I-- I AM GOING TO HAVE TO
ASK EVERYBODY, PLEASE, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK, I NOW UNDERSTAND
THE MAN WHO SAT DOWN. HANG ON, REG, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING? GUYS.
IAN, STOP BREAKING EGGS. >> I'M GIVING YOU ABSOLUTE
SILENCE. IAN--
(APPLAUSE) .
>> James: THAT IS RESTRICTIVE. DO A LATE NIGHT SHOW, THEY SAID.
(APPLAUSE) OKAY, LET'S TRY ONE MORE EGG.
YOU CAN LET SAM RICHARDSON GO, THIS IS IT, GUYS, SEE?
(APPLAUSE)
>> YOU'RE SO CLOSE. >> James: I'M ABSOLUTELY
DEVASTATED THAT I HAVE LET YOU ALL DOWN.