- If you're an introvert
and you're wondering what qualities
you should be looking for in a romantic partner,
or maybe you're wondering if you have what it takes
to be in a relationship with an introvert, keep watching,
because these are the seven things introverts need
in a partner.
Number one, very important,
someone who can give the introvert space.
Introverts absolutely need to be alone from time to time.
This is non-negotiable.
If an introvert doesn't get alone time,
they're gonna start to lose it.
It isn't pretty.
I think some people might assume
that introverts have exceptions to this rule.
They think, "Oh, if I'm dating an introvert, sure,
they need alone time, but that alone time can be with me."
Uh uh, Honey Booboo, that is not how this works.
Introverts need a partner who can let them be alone,
like actually alone.
Someone who can be kind of independent and be like, "Okay,
I'll do my thing, you do your thing,
we don't always have to be attached at the hip."
And most importantly, introverts need someone
who won't take it personally
when the introvert wants to be entirely alone.
Number two, peace and love.
Introverts need someone who understands
that they're not mad if they're quiet or want to be alone.
Some people get nervous around quiet people.
They assume if you're quiet, it means you're angry
and like on the verge of a meltdown,
because that's how they would be if they were quiet.
(laughs)
Or maybe if an introvert wants some space
and wants to be alone and do something by themselves,
the other person might be like,
"Oh, this introvert is upset with me.
Who knows?
Maybe this introvert is quiet and wants to be alone
because they're planning how to leave me.
This ain't good."
But no, introverts are just quiet.
(laughs) The most obvious thing I think I've ever said
on this channel.
They just need to be alone sometimes.
So an introvert needs a partner
who doesn't feel threatened by that,
someone who can just have like a quiet afternoon
where you don't really interact at all,
and they're not always asking you, "Are you okay?
Are you sure you're okay?
You're really quiet.
I don't know something that seems to be bothering you
'cause you're really quiet.
It's making me really uncomfortable.
I'm freaking out over here."
If you're enjoying this video,
consider some hitting the like button,
that's what this is,
but you could also hit subscribe.
Number three, introverts need someone who can talk
about things in a deep way.
Introverts are naturally inward focused.
That's literally what makes them introverts.
So introverts really like to think things through,
and with many conversation topics,
introverts have already processed things very thoroughly,
or pro-cessed things, if you're Canadian.
Introverts just like to think a lot.
That means in conversation,
introverts want to discuss things at a deeper,
more introspective level.
Keeping a conversation on the surface
where it's just a lot of back and forth
about somewhat shallow, basic ideas
actually gets exhausting for introverts
because they're going against their natural inward focus.
So an introvert needs a partner
who is willing to really dig into a conversation.
Someone who not only is able to process the world
at a deep level themselves,
but someone who can appreciate an introvert's mind
and those ideas that the introvert
has had marinading in their brain.
Number four, the introvert needs someone who understands
that they can't socialize like all the time.
Introverts do need to socialize.
I want to make this clear
and not let the introverts out there off the hook.
So I'm not suggesting that an introvert needs someone
who will never leave the house ever,
but an introvert will curl up in a ball
and possibly even lose their S
if their partner is dragging them to social event
after social event, after social event, after social event.
So the introvert needs a partner who can respect that
and won't try to change that,
someone who can work with the introvert
to find out what are the reasonable limits
for getting together with friends and family.
This is essential so the introvert
doesn't feel pushed beyond their limits.
Number five, someone who challenges the introvert to grow.
So, like I said, an ideal partner for an introvert
isn't going to be the kind of person who says,
"Oh, you never want to go outside again?
Well, that's fine.
Let me enable you, you beautiful shut-in.
Relationships are all about growth for both people.
So the introvert needs someone
who can help them get out of their comfort zone,
not so much drag them kicking and screaming
out of their comfort zone, but gently challenge them
and help them grow.
The challenges don't just have to be
when it comes to being more social,
it's up to you to figure out where you need to grow
in your life.
A good relationship will inspire you
to make those improvements.
Number six, someone who can respect
that the introvert is sensitive.
Introverts tend to be a bit more sensitive than extroverts.
This is generally why extroverts like a lot of socializing
and introverts can't take much of it,
but it extends beyond that.
Introverts also tend to be very tuned in
to other's emotional states and can kind of get alarmed
when others get angry or upset.
For that reason, an introvert might also
not want to express their own feelings
that could potentially cause their partner to get upset.
So an introvert needs a partner who realizes
that the introvert might be a little sensitive sometimes.
I'm not saying that the partner should walk on eggshells,
but they should be able
to respect the introvert's sensitivity
and realize, "Oh, if we get into an argument,
maybe we need to go in separate rooms
and cool down a little bit before we talk,
or maybe I need to listen quietly if my introvert
is expressing something they're unhappy about,
because I know it's hard for them to talk about it at all."
Number seven, someone who is just right
on the introvert-extrovert scale.
This is really the question
that a lot of people are wondering:
Should an introvert be with someone who is more extroverted?
The same level of introverted?
More introverted?
First of all, let's point out
that introversion and extroversion are on a scale,
and most of us are somewhere in the middle.
My view on the matter is that you shouldn't go too far
in either direction on the scale from where you are,
because if you're paired with someone
way more extroverted than you,
they're gonna be unhappy that you don't want to go out
and do stuff more often, and you're gonna be drained.
But, if you're with someone
who is way more introverted than you,
you might end up feeling uncomfortable
because suddenly you have to be the more outgoing one
to balance things out.
And if you're an introvert, that can exhaust you.
So start looking for someone who is generally
in the same ballpark
of the introvert-extrovert scale as you,
maybe a few points higher or lower,
depending on your preference.
My frank opinion is it's usually better for an introvert
to find someone who is more extroverted, and vice versa.
Check out this video about introverts next,
subscribe for more videos, and until next time,
stay cool and attractive.
(slow swanky music)
I'm just gonna sit here and wait
until you click on that video.
It's a pretty good one.
I think you'll like it.