When it comes to dating and relationships,
is it possible to have a pattern
of picking the wrong guys or women?
I think there's a lot of us that can agree
this can be a pattern.
And so today we're gonna break it all down
and finding out how to, ooh, break the cycle,
one of my favorite segments,
of picking the wrong guys or women.
But first, here's Therese's story.
Check it out.
I'm Therese Rocca.
I'm 36 years old and I am from Los Angeles, California,
but I currently live in Denver.
As long as I can remember,
I have always picked the wrong guys.
I like to think I'm perfect, but I know that I'm not.
(laughing)
So I'm recently single.
I have had my fair share of long-term relationships.
I was married and divorced.
The checklist for me for my ideal guy
is confidence, but not cocky, adventurous and fun,
great sense of humor, and financially responsible.
Those are my four non-negotiables.
I use my fair share of apps.
I'm currently on a pause.
I felt like everybody I was swiping through,
they might look good on paper,
but as soon as I started chatting with them it was a no-go.
And it was exhausting and time consuming.
And I just felt like it was going nowhere.
I'm 36 years old, so I don't have forever.
Everybody I date is just the wrong guy.
He's not right for me.
I need somebody right for me.
I need help breaking the cycle of picking the wrong guy.
(audience clapping)
Well, please welcome to the show to Therese.
Hello. (audience clapping)
Hi Drew, thank you so much for having me on.
I'm so excited.
Oh, my goodness, I had so many thoughts and feelings
when I was watching your tape.
And I guess first off, why do you think
that you have a pattern of picking the wrong guys?
You know, I was married for five years.
And right after that,
I jumped into a three-year relationship
and he was the complete opposite of my husband.
And so I tried to like counteract
what I had not liked from my previous relationships.
And since then, I have met guys
that only want to play video games all day,
or they're not financially responsible.
And all of these things are just,
they're non-negotiables for me.
I really loved your checklist.
I mean, who doesn't want that list?
That sounds totally on point to me.
Of course, my list when I was younger was like messy,
unavailable, full of drama, and hot as hell.
So my list would be much more in keeping
with where your list is at right now.
Well, it's true. (audience laughing)
So that's sort of,
that is not raising a ton of red flags for me.
And why is now the time that you want to break the cycle?
Well, I'm 36 years old now and I feel like all I've done
for the last 10 years is just waste time.
Waste time with the wrong guys.
And you know, there's a stigma with women rounding 40.
I hate to say it, but I feel like there is
of you're not doing life right.
You're not married.
You don't have kids.
You're not doing it right.
And I mean, I think it's a bit unfair,
but I also feel that I am 36
and I would like to stop wasting time.
And I would like to find my person
and be able to continue life
and do the things that I love to do
and possibly start a family, you know?
36, it's time.
Well, that was gonna be my question.
If I may ask you a personal one,
which is do you want to have children?
Yeah, I definitely, I don't necessarily want five children
but especially in the recent years,
I've been thinking more and more about children
and one or two children in my life.
I just, that's how I see myself.
You know, I'm 36 (laughing) so I don't have forever.
I know that I've got time,
but I don't feel like I have forever, so.
Fantastic, I have a lot to say on this,
but I want to bring someone in who will be able to help.
She's extremely credentialed, really brilliant,
licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert,
Dr. Tiffanie Davis Henry.
(audience clapping) Hi, Dr. Tiff!
Hi, how are you guys?
Dr. Tiff, I'm really excited
to be working with you on this segment.
And I'm really excited to hear from you.
What do you think about Therese's path,
her journey, her past, present, future?
What are your thoughts?
Well, I think it's highly common, Drew.
I mean, I think all of us, and you stated this too,
all of us has kinda like picked some duds
over of the course of our relationship history.
And so it's very common for most of us
to go through a phase of bad relationships
or picking the wrong guy or girl.
So we come up with, and this is what Therese has done,
she's come up with a list.
Oh, I don't want this anymore and I don't want that anymore,
after those relationships.
But the truth is that she can check all of those boxes
on her list and the guy still be a jerk, you know?
So the list isn't necessarily the thing
that's going to win her her Mr. or Mrs. Right.
Now, Therese wants to have children, and at 36 years old
the unfair but true to life ticking clock really kicks in.
Now, have you considered freezing eggs?
People put money in a bank.
Why not put eggs on reserve?
So is that something that you would ever consider?
Yeah, absolutely, I mean, I think
that it's kind of like an insurance policy, right?
Yes.
Yeah, I mean, I don't think
there's anything wrong with it.
I don't think it makes, I think it makes complete sense.
And I'm the type of person, I'm very independent,
that if I decide a couple years down the road
that I want to have a child,
I would absolutely do it on my own.
Yes, I always say, I know there's a plan A,
but it is so great to make the plan B so exciting
that it rivals plan A.
Absolutely.
All right, there is so much more to discuss.
(upbeat lively music)