Personal Statements:
a vidcast brought to you by Laurie Pinkert and Joshua Paiz
in cooperation with the Purdue Online Writing Lab.
In this vidcast, we'll answer the following questions:
1) What is a personal statement?
2) what factors should you consider when writing a personal statement?
and 3) How can you strengthen your personal statement?
This presentation will be especially helpful
for those who are beginning to write their statements
or those who may have drafted a personal statement
but want to revise to make it even better.
Part 1: What is a personal statement
A personal statement
or a statement of purpose, as it is sometimes called,
is often part of the required application materials
for colleges, graduate schools
scholarship programs, and research internships.
This document is read by admissions and scholarship committees
to determine a person's fit for their program.
It's a place for you, the applicant,
to demonstrate how your research interests
academic history, work experience
or other personal qualities
are compatible with the expectations of the program
to which you are applying.
To determine your compatibility, some programs
may ask you to respond to a specific question
or cover specific topics
while others might offer you an open-ended prompt
and allow you to write about the topic of your choice.
The focus of your statement will vary
depending on the context of the guidelines.
Because the personal statement accompanies other materials
such as application forms and resumes
it should compliment, but not merely repeat,
the information in these other documents.
Part 2: What factors should you consider when developing a personal statement?
The factors to consider include the audience
(Who will be reading the statement?)
the purpose
(Why are you writing this statement?)
and the author
(What unique experiences do you have to share?)
Considering your audience is an important part of the writing process for any document
but it's especially important for your personal statement
because these readers will be trying to determine your compatibility
with their school, or their program.
To better understand your audience
you can start by reviewing the organization or university website
their mission statement, and even the application guidelines.
As you review these, look for key words
in the prompt or program description
Look for the language that the program uses to describe itself.
By using this language and referencing specific details
you can show the application readers how well you would fit into this community
After you've researched the program in order to understand your audience
you should consider the context of the prompt.
in order to determine whether it values your past experiences
your plans during the selected program
or your goals after you finish.
The language in the prompt can help you see what to highlight in your essay
The readers often want to see how you've prepared for their program
what you will contribute to the program
and how the program will help you achieve your goals.
They need to see that your past, your present, and your future
align with their program.
For example, consider the University of California personal statement prompt for freshman applicants.
It has two parts.
Part 1, describe the world you come from
and how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations,
And Part 2 - Tell us about a personal quality, talent
accomplishment, contribution, or experience that is important to you.
The first prompt, which addresses the world you come from and dreams and aspirations
asks that you focus on your past and on your future.
In this case, you'd want to relate these to each other.
Describe how your past has shaped your future goals.
The second prompt, which addresses a quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience
asks that you focus on the present by relating something personal to the person that you are today.
Through these two different prompts, the committee will be able to see the applicant's past, present, and future
and will be able to see the relationships among these.
After considering the audience and the context of the prompt
consider yourself as the author.
Think about the unique experiences you have to share.
It's important to spend some time thinking about the story you can tell the admissions committee.
the one that will set you apart from other applicants.
The story doesn't have to be exotic or surprising.
but it should leave the readers with a specific impression
As the author of the personal statement
you'll bring specific qualities
unique experiences
and personal preparation to any organization or university.
Conveying these specific aspects that set you apart is important
For example, consider these two opening lines:
Line 1: "I always wanted to be a doctor..."
And Line 2: "During my recent internship at Riley Hospital for Children..."
Both might truthfully describe a medical school applicant
who has recently completed an internship
and has wanted to be a doctor for as long as she can remember.
Although both highlight actual experiences
the second option provides more concrete details that will separate one applicant from others
and leave the readers with a specific impression.
Think about how many people applying to medical school
probably grew up wanting to be doctors.
If you start your statement with a narrative about how you told your mom
you wanted to be a doctor when you were only three
you might be just like everyone else who always wanted to be a doctor.
However, if you started with a narrative about the internship
that shaped your perspective on medicine
you would offer more concrete details that would distinguish you from other applicants
and show that you know about the field you want to enter.
Part 3: How can you strengthen your personal statement?
Once you've drafted your personal statement you can strengthen it
by highlighting specific experiences
showing, rather than telling,
and organizing for readability.
Strong personal statements will be selective
and develop particular examples that the committee can remember
rather than give a general overview.
Of course, you can mention a few experiences in an opening sentence
but you should highlight, or further develop, one or two particular examples in the rest of the paragraph.
For instance, in a veterinary school application, you might write:
"Through my volunteer experiences at the animal shelter
and my internship at the Lafayette Veterinary Clinic,
I have learned that being a veterinarian requires knowledge of medical procedures
and the ability to communicate these procedures clearly to those making decisions about their animals."
Then you could follow this general overview with a specific example from your internship.
perhaps describing a time where you had to communicate effectively
in order to help a person make a decision for the animal.
The opening sentence highlights two kinds of experience: volunteer and internship.
It also shows us that the writer is already becoming a part of the veterinary community.
We can see that he or she understands at least two aspects of the veterinarian's role:
knowledge of veterinary procedures and the ability to communicate.
This sentence could open a paragraph that develops a specific example
about how the applicant learned about the importance of medical knowledge
and client communication during the internship.
In addition to selecting specific experiences to highlight
you'll want to show your qualities and compatibility
rather than just tell the readers about them.
For example, you could tell the committee that you have research experience
"I have worked on several research projects."
or you could show the committee your research experience:
"While working in Professor Stewart's lab, I developed a statistical model
that simulated the spread of three different airborne diseases among the general population."
The second example is more specific.
We can see the details and imagine the researcher doing the statistical modeling.
This example also highlights the knowledge base that the applicant has.
Not only does he have knowledge of statistical modeling
but he also has a working knowledge of how diseases might spread
and specific knowledge of three airborne diseases.
This second example shows the applicant's research experience
without even mentioning the word research
After you highlight specific examples and develop those examples in order to show and not just tell
you'll want to be sure that you organize for readability
There is no single organizational pattern that every personal statement should use.
However, you should identify a clear pattern that makes the information readable for your audience.
Often, organizational patterns for personal statements will involve a combination of:
the past (your preparation or qualifications)
the present (your compatibility with the program)
and the future (your long term goals)
In order to review a few options for organizing your past, present, and future in your personal statement
we'll take a look at three sample organizational patterns.
For instance, you might start with the future, then move to the past
and then to the present, as in sample one.
In this case, you could begin with a paragraph about your future career goals
then you might want to relate these future goals to your past experiences
so you could discuss the first time you learned about this career
or how you prepared for it, both academically and practically.
Then you could highlight the specific ways that this particular program will help you accomplish your goals.
This discussion of the program is what we consider the present.
Even though you might not yet be a part of the program
you want to discuss it as if you are part of this community.
Highlight the specialties you'll pursue. Name the groups that you'll join.
And if it's a graduate school statement or a research internship application
you may want to mention the specific faculty or researchers that you want to work with.
Another option would be to start with the present, move to the past, and then to the future as in sample two.
If you start with the present you could explain the reason for applying
and describe the faculty or program members that you hope to work with
Then you could explain the experiences that have prepared you for this program
and you could end the statement with a discussion of the ways that the program will help you achieve your future goals.
The third organizational pattern we'll discuss (although there are many more than three)
is moving chronologically from past to present to future.
In this case, you might begin with your preparation
then describe your present
and then you could end the statement with a discussion of your future goals
showing how this program will help you achieve those goals.
Of course, these aren't the only ways to organize your statement
but we hope they give you some ideas about how to highlight the ways
that your past, your present, and your future align with the program to which you are applying.
Remember, when choosing your organizational pattern
it's important that you follow the personal statement prompt
in order to highlight the aspects that the committee values.
Sometimes they'll want to know more about your past than your present
or more about your present than your future.
Organizing for readability can strengthen your statement significantly.
Now that you've learned more about writing a strong personal statement
don't forget to revise that statement to ensure that it highlights your best qualities
and most relevant experiences.
Once you've written and revised the statement, you'll want to polish.
For more information about polishing your statement
visit the Purdue Online Writing Lab for tips and advice.
This has been a presentation of personal statements,
a vidcast brought to you by Laurie Pinkert and Joshua Paiz,
in cooperation with the Purdue Online Writing Lab.