NARRATOR: This is a story about stick figures who live
in a world full of monsters andexplosions and raccoons
and a lot of other cool stuff too.
And it all takes place on a little planet we
like to call Earth.
There it is.
-Fart.
-Who the fuck cares?
-(ASIAN ACCENT) I can't wait for lunch.
-Oh, my god.
Do you think there are going to be boys at this school or
what?
-Ew!
Boys have cooties.
[bell ringing]
-Audios, assholes.
I'm late for a rave.
Yee!
-Uh-uh.
BUS DRIVER (OFFSCREEN): Oh, no!
Not the Explosion Factory!
Ahh!
[gasps]
[grunts]
-Where'd you learn to walk--
cripple school?
Nice!
-(ASIAN ACCENT) If you're happy and you know it, clap
your hands.
MALE (OFFSCREEN): Kiss my butt losers.
-Hey, bitch.
You want a pixie stick?
-My mom says those turn you into a whore.
-Probably!
-Oh hello, Blue!
-Hey, Lord Tourettes.
-Wow!
First day of class?
-Yeah.
-Splendid!
Mine as well!
Say, there's a young jerk face looking for you.
Says he wants to beat your back until you die.
Well, ta-ta.
Ha ha ha!
-Wee.
Ahh.
-Sup, bro.
You new here or what?
-Uh, yeah.
First day.
-Must be 'cause otherwise you'dknow that this seesaw's
for fifth graders.
-Uh, uh, uh, sorry.
I didn't know.
-Yeah?
Price for playing on the fifth grade playground
is your milk money.
[grunting]
-But I'm lactose intolerant.
-Really?
Well let's see if you're fist-tose intolerant.
[fighting and moaning]
-What's the matter, blue kid?
-My mom says I drink too much water.
That's how come I cry so much and pee.
-Gross!
[crying]
-You know, I got held back five years,
but my muscles didn't.
Uh.
Old MacDonald had a farm, now you're going to die, nerd!
[fighting and moaning]
-Huh?
What is that?
-Wow.
-Look, it's an asteroid!
Oh.
[gasping]
-Uh.
Huh?
-Sup?
-Huh?
-Oh, my god!
Who is that?
-It's a new kid!
Get him!
[fighting]
-Oh, my god.
You're so sexy.
-I know.
-Dude, you saved my life!
-I know.
-What's your name?
-I know.
Uh, I mean, I'm Red.
-My name is Blue.
No matter what happens, I promise I will
always be your friend.
-I know cuz I'm awesome!