Throughout the course of human history civilizations have periodically clashed and declared war
on each other because of territorial disputes, political ideologies, and religious beliefs.
Sometimes it’s all three all at once.
Sometimes, however, there are conflicts that sprung out of ludicrous reasons -reasons that
could have been avoided or immediately resolved without having the need to bear arms and lose
hundreds, if not thousands, of lives.
That is why, in today’s list, we are going to count down to five of history’s unbelievably
ridiculous wars that were fought.
5.
THE FLAGSTAFF WAR In 1840, British forces who were stationed
at New Zealand decided to hoist the Union Flag over a small town called Kororareka.
The town was known for its seedy establishments and shady characters.
Thinking that no one would at all mind, the British proceeded to let their colours fly
as a sign of their presence over the country.
However, a tribal chief named Hone Heke rode into the small town and chopped down the flagpole
because of his strong distaste towards the presence of the British empire who have turned
the entire island country into their colony.
You would think that the British would just let it go but, instead, the garrison elected
to put up another flag which was then taken down by Hone Heke.
This happened about two more times where the final flagstaff was reinforced with an iron
base.
In a much more forward thinking time, the issue could have been settled domestically
but because the British, in those days, were intent on reinforcing their sovereignty over
their colonies that the House of Commons back home declared that Hone Heke and his people
were a nuisance and were needed to be taught a lesson.
Initially, the House of Commons ordered missionaries to be sent to speak with Hone Heke.
When that failed, Hone Heke and his tribe descended into the small town in 1845 to drive
out the British, taking a few innocent lives along the way.
The British were eventually kicked out of Kororareka and their flag was taken down once
more.
Later on, the British returned with more troops and firepower that ultimately ended the rebelling
tribespeople after 10 months of bloody skirmish.
The British remained in the territory but never dared to fly their colours over the
small town once again.
4.
THE WAR OF THE OAKEN BUCKET In Italy, in 1325, one of the most senseless
wars was fought because people were simply trying to find a good excuse to shed some
blood and kill each other.
The rival city-states of Modena and Bologna were constantly in conflict because of their
religious loyalties.
The people of Modena paid devotion to the Holy Roman Emperor and the people of Bolognese
opted to back and support the Pope.
During this time of the Catholic Church’s schism, believers were constantly at odds
with other people who did not share their faith.
But unlike the Holy Wars and the great political conspiracies that enveloped this schism, what
happened between Modena and Bologna was more deserving to be in a National Lampoon movie
than in the history books.
One day, soldiers from Modena – for some strange reason – decided to steal a bucket
from a well in a Bolognese town.
This sparked outrage amongst the people of Bologna and they began to mobilise their troops
because they needed to get their bucket back no matter what.
Unfortunately for the Bolognese army, which numbered at least 30,000 soldiers, they were
pushed back and routed by the 7000-man Modena garrison and thousands lost their lives all
because of a stolen bucket.
To this day, the fabled bucket is being kept in Modena – on public display – as a way
of mocking their ancient rivals.
3.
THE WAR OF DAHIS Cheating in any form is frowned upon in any
culture but having to declare war is kind of a stretch.
In the year 568, the 40-year feud between two Arabian tribes began because of allegations
of cheating during a horse race.
Dahis was the name of the horse from which the feud got its namesake and was owned by
a king from one of the tribes.
During the race, when Dahis was extremely close to winning the race, warriors from the
opposing tribe allegedly forced the steed off its course and leading it to lose the
race.
The King who owned Dahis demanded that his money he bet on his stallion be returned because
of the turnout and because he sensed shenanigans.
The other tribe refused to return the money and insisted that they won fair and square.
When the King sensed that his money was never going to be returned, he ordered his people
to start killing people from the other tribe.
Not to be intimidated by murder and homicide, the rival tribe began killing off the King’s
men and tribespeople.
The conflict spiralled out of control and transformed into a decades-long war costing
thousands of lives.
2.
THE PIG WAR It would seem that animals play an integral
part in ridiculous wars throughout history.
Coming in at number two is the aptly named Pig War.
Don’t think that this is just a small scuffle between two nations because in 1859, the Pig
War was a full-scale war.
During that time, the United States and Great Britain laid claim to a chunk of land in San
Juan, just between the coasts of Vancouver and the US mainland.
On the island was a large presence of American settlers who have called it home as well as
the employees of the Hudson’s Bay Company who were from the British Isles.
The first shot of the war rang out on June 15th, 1859 when an American farmer shot a
black boar dead after discovering that the animal had been feasting on his potato patch.
Unfortunately for the farmer, the black boar was owned by the British settlers on the island.
After tensions soared and the farmer was threatened with arrest, the whole incident reached the
ears of the mainland and the US army dispatched a captain named George Pickett together with
a small band of troops.
Pickett declared the entire island of San Juan as US property and, to no surprise at
all, it did not please the British who, in turn, sent a naval fleet of heavily armed
ships to the coastline.
A standoff similar to the Cold War ensued with everyone teetering on a knife’s edge
for weeks.
Finally, the two nations brought their conflict to the negotiating table and agreed on a joint
military occupation of San Juan.
Though bloody conflict did not erupt, it was one that had the potential to be destructive
had one officer’s finger slipped on a trigger.
1.
THE WAR OF THE STRAY DOG As one of the most outrageous military conflicts
in the 20th Century, the so-called War of the Stray Dog brought two nations, who were
already at odds against each other, clashing hard, triggering an international crisis.
Since the Balkan War in the 1910s, Greece and Bulgaria has already been at each other’s
throats and their relationship is strained to say the least.
Tensions finally escalated – and it escalated rapidly – when a Greek soldier was shot
dead after he was allegedly crossing the Bulgarian border because he was chasing after his runaway
dog.
It did not take much for Greece to rally their troops after the incident and they soon invaded
Bulgaria and occupied several villages in their wake.
The city of Petrich was bombarded with artillery shells and the conflict claimed the lives
of 50 people until the League of Nations stepped in and forced the two nations at the negotiating
table where, after learning of the misunderstanding, a ceasefire was proclaimed to put a stop to
the ridiculous quarrel.