- Today we're talking about the INFJ burn down.
The INFJ burn down is something
that is most apparent on YouTube.
But you can see it in other areas of the internet,
and you can even see this at work
in day-to-day life off the internet.
But it's most clear on the internet
because it has to do with keeping something
that you have made out there somewhere
for an indefinite amount of time.
And what the burn down is,
if you haven't put it together yet,
is an INFJ who creates something, a YouTube channel,
whatever it is, maybe even just a comment on a video,
and then later goes back and gets rid of it.
Just burns it to the ground.
Now lots of people can do this.
You don't have to be an INFJ
to exhibit this kind of behavior,
but I see it a lot with INFJs
and I think there's a specific set of reasons
why INFJs in particular do this.
INFJs are naturally sharers.
They just can't help it.
They just wanna share stuff that they know.
This is what NI and FE,
the top two cognitive functions of the INFJ,
that's what they wanna do.
They wanna help other people by sharing with others
what have I figured out about how the world works,
the concepts and patterns that I see at work.
This manifests itself just in everyday life.
But on the internet, it's like the perfect place
to reach the broadest audience.
But why do they burn it down later?
Why do they wanna go back in time
and make it like it never existed?
First of all, it has to do with the perfectionism of INFJs,
which I've talked about before.
We wanna feel extremely prepared before we do anything.
We're not particularly spontaneous.
We don't feel comfortable unless we're going into something
with a plan.
But here's the thing is that we often feel prepared
without actually being prepared.
And that's because we over-focus on one thing,
that's the introverted intuition.
We're focusing in mostly on the message,
or the concept that I wanna get across.
We're focusing on that so much to the exclusion
of other things that we might need to be prepared.
So you'll be ready to make a YouTube video
and you're like, "I've got it all figured out.
"I know exactly how everything in the world
"can be distilled into this one pattern."
And then you realize I don't know how to turn on a camera.
I don't know (laughs) I don't know how YouTube works.
You're not really prepared,
but you feel prepared 'cause you've only been looking at
one thing, which you are very prepared with.
But everything else, not so much.
But that's not gonna stop an INFJ.
They'll still stumble through
and they'll get their video up on YouTube, for example.
But then they have this kind of retroactive perfectionism.
And perfectionism usually prevents someone
from creating the work to begin with,
because you're so concerned about getting it just right.
But this retroactive perfectionism is seeing
what you put out there and being like,
"This is not very good.
"This is not what I wanted.
"I didn't execute it right.
"I wasn't clear."
And that's one of the reasons why you see people,
INFJs in particular, go back and just burn it all down.
It's important to note that this isn't
just like a loss of interest.
It's not just like an INFJ is like,
"Ah, there's something else more interesting."
It actually comes from being overly obsessed with it.
It's like you can't stop focusing on this thing,
and like, I didn't get it right.
And you just can't move on,
so you have to go and destroy it.
Secondly, this is a big one,
criticism, or even just anticipation of criticism,
can cause an INFJ to burn it all down.
Now this isn't 'cause they're like super sensitive.
I see a lot of times around the internet with these articles
about INFJs saying INFJs hate criticism.
Which, who doesn't?
But the thing is,
it's not because we take criticism so personally.
INFJs, I think, are very good at seeing
what other people think and being like,
"Okay, yeah, I get your opinion.
"I understand your side of things.
"Your criticism, I can handle it."
But, there is this other element of
I put my message out there for the betterment of mankind,
this lofty goal I had.
And now I'm getting some negative feedback,
some criticism, or I might get it.
And what an INFJ will infer from this
is that the message was not actually helpful.
That we didn't hit the mark with what we were trying to do.
And if you put this message out there that's supposed to be
helpful, but you're getting this feedback
saying that it isn't helpful,
well then it's like what's the point of it being there.
Why I leave it there if no one is going to
take anything away from it?
So I'm just gonna get rid of it.
That would be better than having a message out there
that wasn't what I thought it was.
Now INFJs also have what you might call a
crippling amount of self-awareness.
Now, every type can be self-aware.
It's not that special to INFJs.
But it is part of the experience of being an INFJ.
But pair that with also an INFJ's struggle with being like,
I'm not really sure about who I am.
I'm not too solid on that.
There are a lot of other types who are pretty solid
on their identity and who they are.
And INFJs aren't like the worst at this,
but they will often kind of struggle to see who they are,
and what they are actually all about.
And this can lead to feeling like an impostor.
You've put this message out there
and then you look at yourself and it's like,
what is this void that is giving this message?
Do I have the right to do this?
And so that can lead to an INFJ burning it all down,
feeling like they're an impostor,
and who are they to put a message out there?
All of these things that lead to an INFJ burn down
have to do with basically being out of their comfort zone.
And the thing about the internet is,
if you put a video out there,
it's not like, oh, I did it and now I feel good about it.
It's sort of like, it's there indefinitely.
So you're indefinitely out of your comfort zone.
And that's a lot of pressure to handle.
To combat this urge to burn everything to the ground
once you've put something out there, whatever it is,
you've gotta be okay with a few things.
You've gotta be okay with feeling unprepared
or being unprepared, 'cause you might feel prepared
but ultimately not actually be prepared.
And be okay with your product,
your project that you're putting out there,
the work that you're doing, not being perfect.
You've just gotta learn to be okay with it.
You've also gotta be okay with others
misinterpreting your message and taking it the wrong way,
and things not landing how you thought they would.
It's just an inevitable thing that your mind
is working one way,
other people's minds are working in various other ways.
And so you might think this is clear as a bell
what I'm saying, and other people don't get it.
But you have to be okay with that
because there will be someone out there who gets it.
Plus, just because other people misinterpret it,
doesn't mean that you were wrong in putting it out there.
And it doesn't mean they're right in their interpretation.
Or it could just be a kick in the butt
for you to improve your communication skills,
which is always a good thing.
And lastly, you have to be okay with self-doubt,
with putting yourself out there,
and not being sure if it was the right thing to do,
or if it's gonna turn out the way you want it to.
Or if you are good enough or qualified
to be putting your message out into the world.
You just have to be okay with that doubt
and realize that's just a feeling.
Whether I feel confident or whether I'm doubting myself,
the message is the same.
So be okay with it and over time,
the self-doubt will go away.
But if you keep burning stuff down after you make it,
it'll never get better.
The self-doubt will always be there sabotaging you.
That's the INFJ burn down.
In an unrelated note, I have a new podcast episode out
with one of my favorite YouTubers.
His name is J.J. McCullough.
We had a great discussion about culture,
countries, and Canada.
That's what his channel is all about.
So I hope you'll check it out.
The links are in the description.
Thanks very much for watching.
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And until next time, stay cool and attractive.
(acoustic guitar music)