Compassion
Compassion is a form of connectedness
that goes beyond thought and reason.
It is spontaneous.
Compassion is a feeling of connectedness
that naturally arises
when we experience sympathetic commonality with someone else.
In other words, it naturally arises
as a result of the felt or shared experience of pain.
There is a harmony inherent in shared feelings,
as well as shared understanding.
When we feel compassion,
we feel sorrow and understanding and concern
for the suffering of someone or something else.
And having that shared commonality of pain
and therefore sorrow and concern for them,
then compels us to alter our actions towards that thing.
We show mercy and love towards it,
instead of cruelty and separation from it.
Think back to a time when you were watching a movie
and some painful event happened to a character.
Now in that moment,
you instantly related to that character.
That means in that moment,
not only did you feel that sensation of shared pain
and therefore connection with that character,
you also understood them completely.
This is what I mean by compassion.
Compassion immediately arises
when we see someone experience pain
that we ourselves relate to.
And by virtue of relating to that pain,
we understand what that person needs.
When, we don't relate to something,
we feel different and separate from them.
This is why our meat industry in the world
is doing so well today.
Because we grow up with our golden retriever,
for example,
our family dog,
We relate to the dog.
When the dog experiences pain,
we feel compassion.
This is why the idea of eating our family dog,
would appall us.
However most of us,
we don't relate to cows.
We don't feel a shared commonality with them.
We don't relate to the pain.
Therefore, it's easy for us to sit down and eat a hamburger.
As a person who has a commonality of pain with somebody,
we are incapable
of inflicting that same pain on that person.
Because we know how it feels.
This Is why it's so common
for people who have experienced severe abuse,
to just stop eating meat altogether.
We feel no compassion for
and therefore propagate cruelty
towards things we don't relate to.
If we identify ourselves as totally sane,
we will have no compassion for people who are mentally ill.
We will treat them as if they're a danger to society
and get angry that they can't Just snap out of it,
and ostracize them in having no sense of their needs,
because we don't relate to them.
We'll do all kinds of things towards them
that Increase their suffering, instead of decrease it.
Another example is we feel no compassion towards spiders.
We'll stomp on them and crush them with the heel of a shoe
and think that the action is a good one.
Many wealthy people have no compassion for people who are poor
because they don't relate to them.
So they imagine them to be lazy
and keep changing laws to increase the cost of living
without increasing salaries,
thus making it harder to thrive financially.
The bottom line is,
no real positive and effective change can come to a person
from a person who does not relate to them deeply enough
to understand their perspective and subsequently, needs.
Today I'm gonna make the idea of compassion
so simple for you,
that you will never be able to forget it.
I'm gonna make it so it isn't abstract,
so that you can never use the excuse
that you don't know how to be compassionate.
Compassion naturally arises
when, we relate to someone's suffering.
Therefore, all we must do in order to feel compassion
and know what action to take towards that thing,
is to deliberately look
for how you relate to their pain.
If we're terrified to look for how we relate to someone,
We have to look at that.
What would be so bad about us relating to this person?
What would be so bad,
if our suffering was the same?
What would be so bad, if I connect it to them?
If I considered myself to be same,
instead of different to them?
Now here's the thing,
we need to compassionately challenge
the answers or the thoughts
that arise as a result of asking those questions.
We need to compassionately care take
the aspect of us that is too terrified
to be vulnerable enough,
to relate to someone's suffering,
because of the consequences
that we think are going to happen,
when we do that.
Compassion only happens
when you're maintaining the idea that you're different from something.
Having compassion begins
with looking for how you're the same as something.
Do the opposite of what your ego naturally does,
which is to look for how you're different to it.
Therefore, if you're struggling to have compassion for something,
dedicate time to being present with that thing,
learning about that thing and understanding it.
From there, if it hasn't happened already,
deliberately look for ways
that you are the same as that thing.
From there, see if you can look for ways
that you relate to their pain.
How is your pain the same as their pain?
Can you identify their pain?
Look back, over the course of your life.
When did you, experience pain like that?
Remember what that felt like.
Remember what you thought.
What did you really need back then when you were in that pain?
The connectedness of compassion naturally arises
when we assume this perspective,
instead of a perspective where we are separate from them
and different to them.
If we have a bankruptcy of compassion
towards things that are external to us,
it is an Indication that we have a bankruptcy
of compassion towards things that are internal to us.
The reason for this,
is fragmentation.
When we experience trauma,
that is, situations that cause distress
which can't be resolved,
in our early life,
we have to dissociate from it.
To dissociate, is to make yourself separate from an experience,
or separate from something.
Do you see where this is starting?
Our consciousness splits when we do this.
As a matter of self-preservation.
We push an aspect of ourselves that is experiencing the pain,
away from ourselves,
and we reject it and deny it and disown it
and identify with the aspect that does not feel that vulnerability.
But, because we have no way
of becoming two different people at that moment,
instead, our sense of self becomes fragmented.
So even though we have one body,
Within that body, we end up with multiple internal selves.
Some of which, we bury into the subconscious
and never allow to see the light of day.
To understand how this process happens in depth,
watch my video titled:
Fragmentation (The Worldwide Disease)
When we split off from
and disidentify from an aspect within us,
so that that splitting occurs,
we naturally stop relating to it.
We tell ourselves:
"No, no, no that's not me. Nope!"
And so obviously, we lose our compassion for it.
But the thing is, it's a part of us.
so if we lose compassion for a part of us,
we're demonstrating cruelty towards a part of us.
And we feel that in our own embodiment.
This is why, we're capable of propagating the same abuse
that was done to us as children.
This Is why our parents can force us to abandon our true dreams,
in favor of doing something rational and practical of their choosing.
And then, we can force our children to do the same,
no longer relating to the kind of torment that caused in us,
and therefore not relating to the kind of torment
that causes in our children.
In order to release ourselves from suffering,
We need to reintegrate these aspects of us,
we need to relate to them again,
We need to pull them closer
so that they feel as if they're part of us again.
The opposite of push them away.
To do this,
we take the same approach
that we would to another person
when it comes to compassion.
Only this time,
towards that part of ourselves that we're pushing away.
To give you an easy example,
the inner child,
which we talk about all the time
in the self-help field,
in the psychology field, in the spiritual field,
this is an aspect of you,
that's a fragmentation.
So, we develop self compassion
when we're present with the inner child within us,
when we're learning about him/her and understanding him/her.
The next steps are easy,
Because you'll naturally relate to it, because it's already a part of you.
But, from there, if it has not naturally happened already,
you can deliberately look for ways that you're the same as your inner child.
From there, see if you can look for ways
that you relate to his or her Pain.
How is your pain and theirs the same?
Can you identify their pain?
Let your inner child show you your past.
Remember when you experienced that pain.
Remember what it felt like,
remember what you thought
and remember what you really needed back then,
when you were in that pain.
How can you provide that for yourself and for other people now?
The connectedness of compassion with this part of ourselves,
naturally arises when we assume this perspective,
Instead of a perspective where we are separate from our inner child
and different from them, and worse,
when, We assume the perspective that we are adults
and so a child within us, does not even exist.
When we do this, the light of compassion
will cause an Integration of these fragmented aspects of us.
We will feel more whole,
our shame will evaporate in the light of our compassion
like sunlight melting ice.
We will take actions towards ourselves
that are in alignment with compassion.
I will give you an example,
of how this process of internal separation
works relative to the loss of compassion.
Imagine that you have a politician
who for the most part, is cruel and also dictatorial.
Imagine that way way back in his childhood,
he had a father who shamed him and rejected him
anytime he wasn't the very best.
Maybe this father called him a loser
and called anyone else a loser,
who didn't meet his standards.
Having no way to resolve the pain of that experience,
and in order to keep the love of that father,
he had to cut off from that aspect of him
that felt like a failure
and from the pain of his own feelings that he might not be good enough.
He Had to identify with the side of him that's a winner.
He had to cover up the side of him
that never felt like it was good enough with achievements,
so that he could never even see that side of himself.
He had to push away
any feeling or thought or action or person
that his father associated with being a loser.
he had to consider himself different to them.
Now, because he has pushed them so far away,
the aspect he is identified with, cannot relate to them.
Now he is the one calling them all losers.
He is the one taking actions that increase their suffering
and thinking that they deserve it.
And until he re-owns
the side of himself that feels like it's not good enough,
so as to feel compassion for it,
the side that suffered the pain of the rejection and shaming of his father,
he will not relate to the people
who he has sorted Into the category of:
"Different from me, because they are losers".
He will continue to propagate separation of
and cruelty towards these people
and not be able to meet their needs.
This world functions like an impartial mirror.
That means that the fragmentation you see inside the world,
the war, the prejudice,
the slaughterhouses...
it is a complete reflection
of the fragmentation that is happening within us.
When compassion is the condition of our internal world,
it will be the condition of our external world.
It is often much easier
to feel a sense of shared commonality with people's pain,
instead of their joy.
Now a lot of people argue that we should be feeling
compassion and connectedness in our joy,
and not just our suffering.
And it's not that I don't agree,
but the reality is that our joy,
it doesn't really need us the way that suffering does.
Why? Because it's already working.
Joy is not the thing that is causing the issues on our planet,
suffering is.
it is our lack of compassion
that is creating the issues on this planet.
it is the way that we have not made the decision
to relate to each other deeply and to see ourselves as the same,
that is creating the issues on this planet.
Compassion is perhaps the single most critical thing
for humanity to develop in the world today.
And to be quite honest with you, the survival of our species
is now completely dependent upon it.
It is no longer a luxury.
We are no longer at a point
where, we can wait for compassion to spontaneously arise one day.
We are at a point in our evolution
where we now have to help it to arise.
Have A good Week.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte www.tanyaduarte.com