hey what's going on YouTube this is just certified a life and relationship coach coach court and in
today's video I want to talk to you about the differences between a fearful and dismissive
avoidant thank you for sticking around if this is your first time viewing me do me a
favor and subscribe to the channel by clicking that subscribe button and ringing that little
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help personally reach out to me on my website www.fruitfulseedz.com no longer than 500 words
as it makes it really difficult to respond to long emails this topic's a topic that a lot of people
have been asking me about recently my coaching client and I've been working with about 2 or 3
weeks we're trying to like understand where his ex is and what type of style she is but it's really
tough because like I said before my previous videos you don't want to play the guessing
game when it comes to attachment style you have to be certain what their style is and for the first
couple weeks we were thinking that his ex was a dismissive avoidant so I'm gonna go ahead and
give you a few comparisons between the dismissive and a fearful avoidant let's start out with the
dating phase the honeymoon phase when things first start out the fearful avoidant will come
up with somebody that looks a lot like the anxious preoccupied they'll come out and try to get you in
a relationship right away they want to commitment right away and they'll love bomb you right away
the dismissive avoidant on the other hand they won't do that they will take things very slowly
they will want to go on dates every so often they won't want to be around you so much right in the
beginning in comparison to the fearful avoidant the fearful avoidant have the tendency to stroke
ego pretty much really give you compliments give you an abundance of compliments but the dismissive
avoidant they pretty much are reserved and they won't give you too many compliments that's gonna
be that way throughout the whole relationship though so I hope you're prepared actually what
will happen with the dismissive avoidant when they start to become more secure they'll start
giving you more compliments and they'll start meeting you more in the middle and understand
that that's one of the love languages that they have to speak for you you'll see little
red flags the beginning from the fearful avoidant by they'll have troubled relationships with their
friends their work may be a little rocky a little spotty they may be consider somebody
that's irresponsible it works somebody that is late for their job a lot or even for your
dates they may even be late don't show up they'll come off as somebody that's very inconsistent the
dismissive avoidant on the other hand if they are committed to trying to make this thing at
least work to at least meet you halfway they'll be responsible they're people who work very hard
they kind of bury themselves in their job they take a lot of pride in their job so they'll be
somebody that you'll see throughout your date and you throughout your courtship that they'll come
off as somebody that's really responsible and for the most part they are because one thing you need
to know about the fearful and dismissive avoidant is they experience a different level of trauma
not saying that they experience more severe trauma but the fearful avoidant tend to have
experience more complex trauma like different areas in their lives not just relationship or
trauma with their caregivers they've experienced a bunch of different types of trauma every person is
different but for the most part that's kind of the trend that I've seen the most in fearful avoidants
during the relationship phase the fearful avoidant they're very deep feelers they can really bond
with you they're really in tune with your facial expressions and the nonverbals they really pick up
on those it's just when you do something to cause their avoidance side to trigger is when they'll
go cold on you and they'll back away from you and disappear for a little while the dismissive
avoidant on the other hand they're the people who come up as very emotionally unavailable throughout
the relationship unlike the fearful avoidant they have a hard time picking up on facial cues
and body language they have a tough time picking up on when people are upset or angry or or feeling
uneasy and unhappy if they don't feel that they feel as if you shouldn't feel it either it's not
something that they couldn't resonate with during a breakup which is what my current coaching client
is struggling with is trying to figure out whether or not she is fearful or she's dismissive and the
dismissive might ask you come get your stuff back and they try to end the relationship as quickly as
possible now this is something that I've typically seen in the past they would much rather cut all
ties with you but on social media they may just leave your status on there because they don't want
to have to talk to people about what happened with the relationship they don't wanna have to
talk to family and friends it's embarrassing it's really shameful for the dismissive to break up or
somebody to break up with the fearful avoidant it's pretty much flip a coin it's however their
feeling in that moment they feel very deeply like we talked about you may see that they change
their relationship status right away they'll take pictures of you down right away they may tell you
they love you and you're the one for them but then turn around in the next breath and said I
never want to speak to you again block you on all social media and you'll be left scratching your
head like what on earth just happened so if you found this video of any value please like comment
and share reach out to me on my other social media accounts Twitter is coachcourt2 Instagram
is Iamcoachcourt and Facebook is iamcoachcourt thank you guys and I will talk to you soon