[Music]
uh hey boss
we were talking and um this feels like
something we could always
come back to and on a later date you
know why would we do that
we have the camera we have the studio
we're making a promo for skype right
right yeah right so we're doing it
okay yeah company needs a promo right
sure yeah that's why we're here don't
you [ __ ] look at me
hi america i'm the ceo of skype landon
blandon anova
over a year has passed since the first
case of covet 19 was recorded in america
ushering in a new age
of personal and professional challenges
where video conferencing services would
be the lifeblood of our society
to everybody out there watching this i
just want to say from the bottom of my
heart
[ __ ] you and double [ __ ] your stupid
zoom account
terry let me get my [ __ ] point out
for a second what the [ __ ] is zoom
what the [ __ ] is zoom what is that we
have been here since the beginning and
you cannot tell me
that all these people out here didn't
switch on purpose
just to [ __ ] with me as god is my
witness
you ungrateful [ __ ] i will have
skype has been there from the very
beginning giving you video calling
before you even knew you wanted it and
if you haven't used skype recently for
some reason who knows what
now that we've got everything you need
like
custom backgrounds okay
and an end call button and get this
a different corner
because apparently that's a real deal
breaker for some of you that's the stuff
that
really matters it must be because why
else would you
[ __ ] us in the ass like this you
disloyal snake
oh just calm down calm down you were
already using skype as a verb do you
know how big of a milestone that is
when the company name actually becomes
the world like people don't search for
things they
google them you were skyping that's the
whole [ __ ] ball game baby
that is the crown in your hands
you had our app on your phone you had
our name in your mouth
we were at the finish line and then we
[ __ ] face planted
where did we go wrong what can zoom do
that skype can't well it uh
uh zoom can support up to a thousand
callers a thousand
why would you wanna be on a call with a
thousand people i don't know a thousand
people
let alone want to talk to them what i
mean to say is skype still
offers the video tools for all your
needs
why settle for anything else when you
can have the original
but really why why would you do that
we at skype will always be here for you
to give you the tools you need
okay that was that was great um can we
try one that's maybe a little brighter
no we at skype will always be here for
you to give you the tools
you need to succeed even if you drop us
like a
hot sack of [ __ ] for some pretty young
thing that just sauntered in
i'm zoom you leonardo dicaprio to us
that's what you did you're a bunch of
dicaprio's dicaprio
dicaprio
hydrox came before oreos
did you know that hydrox came before
oreos
betamax came before vhs
gobots came before transformers are we
go buts you all had us already
so this is war you you don't walk down
the street and spit in the man's eye
and not expect him to drop from the
ceiling of your bedroom in the middle of
the night and slit your throat
and i'm not saying that as a threat
legal i
i can find it in myself to forgive you
if you left
you know you can come back no questions
asked
and to those of you who never left thank
you
we we are so glad to have you and we're
so excited to announce that
as a reward for you staying we're going
to shut down immediately and start
selling t-shirts do you see how insane
that sounds
to betray you out of nowhere how does it
make you
feel dicaprio dicaprio you know it's
funny the other day my mom
sent a little email out saying we should
set up a family zoom
my mom hi my name is landon
biblandonanavan
and i'm here to tell you that please do
skype or i'll die and now people want to
zoom
i got a zoom oh i have to zoom my uncle
about cleaning out his garage this
weekend and now we got microsoft they're
going to get erase us
we're going to become part of microsoft
teams that's even worse than zoom
teams i have to teams my orthodontist
about my adult braces
when you could be skyping your hot [ __ ]
partner
skype sounds cool sounds like opening a
can
skype let me zoom you
is any of this usable oh i don't know
okay well let me know we can set up a
zoom later if we [ __ ]
skype
it's just fun to say [ __ ]