>> Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND THE LATE SHOW
BAND, EVERYBODY. LOUIS, YOU KNOW I DON'T KNOW IF
I REMEMBER BUT AS I MENTIONED ON THE SHOW
YESTERDAY, I RECENTLY HAD THE CHANCE TO WORK WITH THE U.S.O.,
THE NON-PROFIT CHARITY ORGANIZATION THAT HELPS SUPPORT
SERVICE MEMBERS AND THEIR FAMILIES.
EARLIER THIS YEAR, I TOLD THEM I WANTED TO HELP OUT, SO THEY
SENT ME TO THULE AIRBASE, WHICH IS LOCATED IN NORTHERN
GREENLAND, 750 MILES ABOVE THE ARCTIC CIRCLE.
APPARENTLY THEY THOUGHT I'D BE MOST HELPFUL AS FAR AWAY FROM
HUMANITY AS POSSIBLE. TURNS OUT, IT'S FASCINATING UP
THERE. THULE IS NOW UNDER THE COMMAND
OF THE NEWEST BRANCH OF THE MILITARY, THE U.S. SPACE FORCE.
AND I WANTED TO LEARN ABOUT THEIR MISSION AT THE TOP OF
THE WORLD, SO I HEADED NORTH TO MEET WITH CHIEF MASTER SERGEANT
ROGER A. TOWBERMAN. JOIN ME NOW, ON THE MULTI-PART
ADVENTURE THAT WE'RE CALLING... THE LATE SHOW PRESENTS,
"RED, WHITE, AND GREENLAND! STEPHEN COLD-BEAR IS LOST IN
SPACE FORCE." I TRAVELED FAR ABOVE THE ARCTIC
CIRCLE, TO THULE, GREENLAND. AS I VOYAGED ACROSS THE
STUNNING, DESOLATE LANDSCAPE, 2,500 MILES AWAY FROM HOME,
I COULDN'T HELP BUT THINK... WALKING WAS A BAD CHOICE.
FINALLY, I MET UP WITH THE CHIEF MASTER SERGEANT OF THE
SPACE FORCE. HEY.
CHIEF TOWBERMAN, THERE YOU ARE! (LAUGHS)
>> HI! >> Stephen: HEY, THANKS SO MUCH
FOR-- >> YES, SIR.
HOW ARE YOU? >> Stephen: --MEETING ME--
(PANTING) --UH, SOMEWHERE.
I KNOW YOUR FULL TITLE IS CHIEF MASTER SERGEANT OF THE
UNITED STATES SPACE FORCE, ROGER A. TOWBERMAN--
BUT, IN THE INTEREST OF TIME, WOULD IT BE OKAY IF I JUST
CALLED YOU CHIEF MASTER SERGEANT OF THE UNITED STATES SPACE
FORCE, ROGER TOWBERMAN? >> YES, SIR.
>> Stephen: WHEN DID THE CONCEPT OF THE SPACE FORCE BEGIN?
>> IN 2001, THE RUMSFELD COMMISSION RECOMMENDED TO
THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE THAT THEY CONSIDER SETTING UP
A SPACE FORCE. >> Stephen: SO, 2001 WAS
LITERALLY THE BEGINNING OF YOUR SPACE ODYSSEY?
(LAUGHTER) >> YEAH, GUESS SO.
>> Stephen: SEEN THAT MOVIE? >> I HAVE.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE END MEANS?
>> NO. >> Stephen: WHAT THE HELL IS
GOING ON WITH THAT SPACE BABY? (LAUGHTER)
>> I DON'T KNOW. >> Stephen: DO YOU GUYS HAVE A
SPACE BABY? >> NO.
>> Stephen: NO? >> NO.
>> Stephen: WOULD-- COULD YOU TELL ME IF YOU GUYS DID HAVE A
GIANT SPACE BABY? >> PROBABLY NOT.
>> Stephen: OKAY. SO, YOU HAVE A SPACE BABY.
WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THULE AIR BASE?
WHY UP HERE? OBVIOUSLY, MADE A LOT OF SENSE
DURING THE COLD WAR, BUT THERE'S NO MORE TENSIONS WITH
RUSSIA AT THIS POINT. >> YEAH, SO, I-- I-- I THINK
THERE STILL ARE SOME TENSIONS. THERE ARE CERTAINLY-- THERE'S-
>> Stephen: I DON'T REALLY FOLLOW THE NEWS.
WHAT-- I DON'T-- (LAUGHS)
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THOSE ARE.
>> THERE'S-- IT'S-- SO, WE STILL HAVE AN IMPORTANT MISSION,
TO LOOK NORTH. AND-- AND THIS IS THE
NORTHERNMOST BASE THAT WE HAVE. SO, YOU GET A GREAT--
>> Stephen: ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, THIS IS AS FAR NORTH AS
THE U.S. MILITARY HAS A BASE? >> YES, IT IS.
SO, WHAT'S INTERESTING, FROM A SPACE PERSPECTIVE, IS THAT THE
SAME TECHNOLOGY WE USE TO DETECT EARLY WARNINGS OF MISSILES, WE
CAN ALSO SEE OBJECTS IN SPACE. SO, WE CAN USE IT FOR SPACE
AWARENESS AS WELL, AND SO, KIND OF UNIQUELY SITUATED UP HERE.
>> Stephen: HOW MUCH WARNING DO YOU GET IF THERE WAS A
MISSILE LAUNCH? ENOUGH TO... JUST, PANIC, OR
WOULD I HAVE TIME TO LIMBER UP SO I COULD LITERALLY KISS MY ASS
GOODBYE? >> SO, I BELIEVE WE'LL GET
ENOUGH TO MAYBE KEEP YOU FROM HAVING TO SAY GOODBYE AT ALL.
BUT IF I TELL YOU ANY MORE OF THAT-- WE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO.
SO, WE'LL JUST KEEP IT AT THAT LEVEL.
>> Stephen: I DON'T WANT YOU TO TELL ME ANYTHING THAT COULD
POSSIBLY ENDANGER UNITED STATES SECURITY, UNLESS IT WOULD BE
ENTERTAINING FOR PEOPLE TO HEAR. I'M A HUGE FAN OF FORCE.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO? WHAT DOES SPACE FORCE DO?
>> WE ENSURE UNFETTERED ACCESS TO AND FREEDOM TO
MANEUVER IN SPACE. >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
IS THERE SOME FETTERING GOING ON PRESENTLY THAT WE DON'T KNOW
ABOUT? LIKE, IS THERE-- IS THERE A--
IS THERE A SPACE WAR THAT WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
>> THERE IS NOT A SPACE "WAR" THAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT.
>> Stephen: SPACE SKIRMISH? IS THERE A SPACE SKIRMISH WE
DON'T KNOW ABOUT? OH, THAT PAUSE SPEAKS VOLUMES!
YOU'RE LIKE, "HOW MUCH CAN I TELL THIS GUY?"
>> YES. WELL, WE-- WE KNOW THAT THERE'S
BEEN ACTIVITY RECENTLY, RIGHT, AND WEAPONS ARE BEING TESTED BY
OTHER NATIONS. AND IT REALLY SHOULD CONCERN US
THAT-- >> Stephen: WAIT, WE--
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU. BUT, "WE KNOW THAT?"
>> WE KNOW THAT. >> Stephen: MEANING, YOU KNOW
IT? OR I KNOW IT?
>> YOU-- YOU KNOW THAT. YOU KNOW THAT--
>> Stephen: WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT WHAT WEAPONS ARE BEING
TESTED IN SPACE? IS IT THE RUSSKIES?
ARE THEY UP THERE SHOOTING AT OUR G-- ARE THEY SHOOTING AT OUR
SATELLITES? ARE THEY, LIKE--
>> NO. >> Stephen: THEY'RE NOT?
>> NO. >> Stephen: ARE THEY R-- ARE
THEY RAMMING US? IS THERE ANY-- LIKE, BECAUSE
SERIOUSLY, THOSE THINGS ARE GOING UP THERE AT 17,500 MILES
AN HOUR. ARE THEY-- IS IT, LIKE, YOU
KNOW, "DOOM, DOOM, DOOM, RAMMING SPEED?"
IS-- IS IT-- YOU KNOW? IS IT GALLEON KIND OF BATTLES?
>> NO, IT'S-- >> Stephen: SO WHAT ARE THEY
DOING? >> IT'S NO BATTLES.
WHAT THERE IS, IS AN INCREASING AMOUNT OF ACTIVITY.
THERE'S MORE STUFF UP THERE. JUST TWO OR THREE YEARS AGO, WE
WERE TRACKING A LITTLE OVER 20,000 OBJECTS IN ORBIT, ABOUT
1,500 OF THEM WERE MAN-MADE. AND NOW THERE'S NEARLY 50,000
OBJECTS, AND 5,000 OF THEM ARE MAN-MADE.
SO IT'S BECOMING VERY, VERY BUY.
>> Stephen: WELL, WAIT A SECOND. IF MAN DIDN'T MAKE THE OTHERS,
ARE YOU SAYING ALIENS MADE THE OTHERS?
>> NO, THEY-- >> Stephen: DID YOU JUST LET THE
CAT OUT OF THE BAG? >> NO, NO, I DID NOT--
>> Stephen: THE CAT HAS THREE EYES?
>> THERE'S NO CAT. >> Stephen: THERE'S NO CAT?
>> NO! >> Stephen: UH-HUH.
IT LOOKS LIKE A CAT, IT'S NOT ACTUALLY A CAT.
NO? >> NO.
>> Stephen: YOU ALSO MONITOR SUBMARINE-LAUNCHED MISSILES.
TRUE? >> YES.
>> Stephen: OKAY. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MONITOR ALL
OF SPACE, AND SOME OF THE OCEAN? IS THE NAVY JUST THAT LAZY?
>> NO! >> Stephen: THAT THEY'RE LIKE,
"HEY, YOU GUYS, WOULD YOU TAKE SOME OF THE OCEAN?
WE ARE TUCKERED OUT." >> NO, NO.
IT'S BECAUSE OF WHERE THE-- THE MISSILES--
>> Stephen: WHERE THE MISSILES GO--
>> THEY DON'T STAY UNDERWATER. THEY-- THEY GO THROUGH--
>> Stephen: SURE. BUT THE MISSILES THAT ARE IN
SPACE EVENTUALLY HIT THE LAND. IT'S NOT LIKE THE ARMY TAKES IT
FROM THERE. YOU GUYS ARE THE SPACE FORCE.
>> YES. >> Stephen: SEEMS LIKE THE
NAVY'S TRYING TO GIVE YOU SOME OF THE STUFF THEY DON'T
WANT TO DO. AND IT'S COOL.
THERE'S NOBODY FROM THE NAVY HERE, RIGHT?
IT'S JUST US CHICKENS. YOU'RE THE SPACE FORCE'S TOP
ENLISTED OFFICER. OKAY, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU A
QUESTION THAT I HAVE ASKED MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT NASA.
THEY'VE ASKED ME TO STOP ASKING IT.
>> OH, GREAT. >> Stephen: BUT I WON'T.
BECAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT. WHAT I'M GOING TO ASK YOU--
AND WE'RE BOTH ADULTS, AND I NEED YOU TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION
STRAIGHT-- ARE PEOPLE DOING IT IN SPACE?
>> I DO NOT KNOW. >> Stephen: DON'T YOU THINK IT
WOULD BE IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO DO IT IN SPACE, SO WE KNOW
WHAT'S THAT LIKE? TO PROPAGATE THE HUMAN SPECIES
ON OTHER PLANETS, AND PERHAPS REPOPULATE THE EARTH, IN CASE
ANYTHING HAPPENS WHILE PEOPLE ARE IN SPACE?
>> FOR SCIENCE. >> Stephen: FOR SCIENCE!
ARE PEOPLE DOING IT IN SPACE, FOR SCIENCE?
>> I DON'T KNOW. >> Stephen: YOU D-- YOU DON'T
KNOW? >> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: GOT TO IMAGINE, ANYTHING GOES, RIGHT?
BECAUSE, NO GRAVITY. THAT'S BETTER THAN A WATER BED.
RIGHT? WATER BED'S IMPOSSIBLE, BY THE
WAY. THAT'S FOR THE NAVY.
YOU GUYS ARE IN SPACE. FIND THE ZERO-G SPOT?
NO? THIS IS WHEN YOU'RE BEGINNING TO
REGRET THE INTERVIEW. I APOLOGIZE.
YOU'RE A GENTLEMAN, AND I SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS.
OKAY, LET'S GET BACK TO THE ALIENS FOR JUST ONE SECOND HERE.
IF YOU HAD TO GO TOE-TO-TOE WITH AN ALIEN, OKAY?
LET'S JUST KEEP IT SOMETHING BASIC.
I'M NOT SAYING A GORN. ALL RIGHT?
I'M NOT SAYING A KLINGON, OR A KZINTI.
I'M JUST SAYING, LIKE-- A GREY, OKAY?
WILLOWY, YOU KNOW-- LITHUANIAN BASKETBALL PLAYER,
KIND OF LANKY. WHICH STARSHIP CAPTAIN WOULD YOU
EMULATE IN YOUR FIGHTING? ARE YOU GOING CAPTAIN KIRK,
REBOOT KIRK, PICARD, JANEWAY? >> OOH.
I'LL PROBABLY GO HAN SOLO. >> Stephen: WOW.
VERY NICE. SO YOU JUST, "PEW, PEW?"
>> HE SHOT FIRST. >> Stephen: WHY DO SPACE LASERS
GO, "PEW, PEW, PEW, PEW, PEW?" WHY DO THEY MAKE THAT SOUND?
"PEW, PEW." >> I DON'T KNOW.
>> Stephen: BY THE WAY, IF HAN WAS HAVING SEX IN SPACE, WOULD
HE SHOOT FIRST? OKAY, THAT'S A FIVE-STORY RADAR
INSTALLATION. >> YES.
>> Stephen: I HAVE HEARD THAT IF I STAND IN FRONT OF THAT FOR,
LIKE, FIVE MINUTES, IT WOULD BOIL THE CONTENTS OF MY STOMACH.
IS THAT TRUE? >> THAT'S AWFULLY GRAPHIC.
IT-- I-- I WOULDN'T TEST IT. >> Stephen: WOULD IT COOK ME
LIKE A MICROWAVE? >> I WOULDN'T-- YEAH, I-- I
WOULD NOT STAND THERE. >> Stephen: I'VE GOT INTERNS.
FOR COLLEGE CREDIT, WE COULD HAVE THEM WANDER IN FRONT OF IT.
>> I DON'T THINK SO. >> Stephen: THEY'RE THEATRE
MAJORS. IT'S NOT A BIG LOSS.
THAT THING DETECTS I.C.B.M.s? >> YES, SIR.
>> Stephen: OKAY, I BET, WHEN IT'S 40° BELOW OUT HERE, EVERY
B.M. YOU TAKE IS I.C. (LAUGHTER)
I CAME 5,000 MILES TO MAKE THAT JOKE!
>> THAT-- THAT IS FANTASTIC. >> Stephen: THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. I THINK OUR WORK IS DONE HERE.
LET'S GO BACK TO THE STATES! (LAUGHTER)
I MADE A POOP JOKE, AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD.
WHEN WE COME BACK, MY EPIC GREENLANDIC SAGA CONTINUES.
STICK AROUND.