So what you're saying is, it's time for redemption!
I'm not really sure how this is redemption considering I got punished twice.
It's redemption because you cheated on your punishments both times,
Whaat?
This is the third of the cup games that we are playing, the first time I wound up winning
Martina didn't accept her punishment fully
No no! You lost the, you have to eat it!
Duckie, come back here!
Duckie no
The second time I wound up winning you might remember she threw my prize up against the wall
Na na na na, Duckie!
(laughs)
You dick
This is the third time and Martina's going to lose again, and she's going to suffer punishment for really really real this time!
So we do have a prize for the winner and it is being heavily guarded by armed security guards
aka Spudgy and Suzie to make sure that neither of us tamper with the final prizes
So this game that we're playing today is called Asshole Asshole!
No it's not!
It says aseul aseul, which is like- SIMON: azul azul
-the French asshole.
That's not even the name of the game that's the sound of like,
Ohhh, it's about to tip over, I'm not sure, it's like oouh SIMON: About to crash
SIMON: I'll take all the oranges MARTINA: You can have orange SIMON: I'll go for the orange
The goal of the game is to get rid of all your crabs
so when you roll the die you can either get 1 which means you add one crab
2 which you can add two crabs SIMON: Uh huh
If you get the crab it means you miss your turn SIMON: You lose your turn
and if you get the -1 it means I have to take another crab from your pile.
What's interesting about this game is that if you knock any crabs over
You gather those crabs into your pile so you've got even more to add
So it's not like that last game in which if you knock it over you lose.
You know what I'm gonna be honest, I put one of my crabs underneath the table MARTINA: *gasp*
to make it seem as though I had less, but I'm gonna win this fairly and honestly!
MARTINA: Do I have to like frisk you to see you to see if you have any more crabs in your pants? SIMON: No you don't
That is not right
We kai bai bo at the beginning to choose who gets to put down their giant crab in the center
Ok BigBang you've failed me the last couple of times Simon called upon the power of Orange Caramel and he won.
Orange Caramel again!
I got the orange I got the crabamel I'm ready.
I'm gonna the power of U-KISS, Mordney make yourself present.
Kai bai bo!
I put my big crab first.
First one going down, boyahkisha.
Does that mean my big crab is out?
You got one
There!
Crab, I lose a turn
Off to a good start Martina
One
Ooh, the crabs have different faces
This one's got it's O face on
Oh oh
booyahkisha
Are you allowed to touch it like that?
One
shibooyah
Damn! Lost a turn
One
Yes
Come on!
One
Your breath, it's so foul
I know it's all been stuck in my head
One
yeay
-1, oh no
sucka
Whoa, I'm really far behind. MARTINA:Shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy yay.
You got 4 I got 7
Give me some crabs so I can take them away SIMON: You got one, oh my God.
Simon stop it!
I'm just breathing 'cause I'm nervous
Okay
Crab, I'm done for
One!
Come oon!
Stop tongue wiggling
Martina's got 1 left
I've got 6
I can do this
Don't try to drop it!
Ahhhh! I lost a turn!
No, no, no, no
MARTINA: OK, as long as I don't knock anything over I have demolished you SIMON: You can't, you can't that's not fair not for this video
Duckie stop
Ahhhhh!
I totally won! I won, it's my one dance! I beat you fair and square!
*sigh*
Hey big guy, wanna hear what the punishment was?
We got another cupcake, and you are to feed it to me
dressed as whatever butler I please
SiMON: Why? MARTINA: and you cannot be a dick about it.
When I feed it to you I'm gonna fart on your cupcake
You will do no such thing!
Servant man,I would like a cupcake fed to me elegantly and I would like you to maintain a French accent for the rest of the feeding experience
Go now!
Hua hua hua, jest me le French
Get me my cupcake.
SIMON: Why do I need ze mustache if I grew one naturally? MARTINA: Stop whining!
I give Martina, zis small s---y one
When did camera lady become smartass?
Slave man, please enter the room singing a SHINee song of any kind.
(Simon singing)
What the hell is this? Bad slave man
I would like a larger cupcake, and I would like a pink fork with it.
How do you say in French, suck my nuts?
Oh, okay, fine
I wanna hear Super Junior
(Simon Singing)
Madame les pink fork, je suis les no
Take your hand and slap yourself on your own butt
I would like a tiny silver fork
Un fork for les madame
I would like to apologize to all our French viewers. I want a little bit of icing and a little bit of cupcake
I want the ratio to be excelent
and it should go into my mouth, not on the floor, not on my face, not into my nose
don't stuff it into a weird hole somewhere
The possibilities stay endless
les vroom les vroom vroom vroom
oui oui
ahh haa
les madame eat like barbarian
cut a bigger piece please this time
A bigger piece pour les madame
oui, oui, uh huh
oh, okay
be careful madame be careful madame oh madame
c'est très mal
We're done here. Vroom vroom vroom vroom
I'll eat the small cupcake
No! I've never tried that kind before! Don't you dare!