Welcome back to the show.
Today is November 8th, which means
Donald Trump was elected president
exactly 100 years ago. I'm kidding.
It's only been a year.
Oh, my, where did this come from?
Ha, ha.
President Bone Spur has had more endurance than predicted,
especially if you were predicting
his endurance by looking at literally any photo
of him being physical ever.
But there is hope on the horizon, a hero who stood up
to democracy's nemesis before.
Look up in the sky.
It's a bird.
It's a plane.
It's--
I'm Eric Schneiderman, and I'm the attorney general
of the State of New York, the lawyer
for the State of New York, and for the people
of the State of New York.
Happy one year "sad-iversary."
Well, thank you.
You must so happy that Trump won, because he's
giving you so much material.
What a great time to be an attorney.
Yeah.
It's like a toxic volcano that just keeps belching
out bad public policies.
But we have a very strong legal resistance.
Are you going to lead us out of the darkness?
The state attorneys general, we're
going to be the first line of defense,
because the Constitution kept a lot of power at the state level
to hold a potential tyrant in check.
We have that power now, and with great power
comes great responsibility.
SAMANTHA BEE (VOICEOVER): Oh, my god, he's--
WOMEN (SINGING): Schenider-man, Schneider-man,
does whatever a Schneider can.
Only he can save us all--
No, it's not going to be one hero.
It's not going to be a quick fix for this,
but I've got colleagues all around the country, a network
of progressive attorneys general, who
are really in the core of the legal resistance.
You are fighting the good fight.
Many fights.
So we had a meeting in January before Trump took office.
We had anticipated what was coming.
So you assembled your anti-Trump
squad of attorney generals.
Attorneys general.
Like Carl's Junior.
Ah, almost.
SAMANTHA BEE (VOICEOVER): And Eric's Justice League
has challenged Trump over the first travel ban, pesticides,
student loans, the second travel ban, smog, methane,
Obamacare subsidies, DACA, the third travel
ban, trans rights, clean power plan, and birth control access.
Oh. - We beat him on travel ban 1.
We beat him on travel ban 2.
We beat him on environmental regulations.
He had a transgender military ban.
And we will continue to fight.
- Ah-ha, you are a superhero. - No.
No.
Why don't we see what happens if you go into that telephone
booth over there?
Ah, I think I'll probably stay the way I am.
Whatever.
Hey, yeah, no.
No, we'll do it.
Yeah, I don't know why.
No, he's just sitting here.
Yeah, I'll see you later.
Did you get bananas?
OK.
SAMANTHA BEE (VOICEOVER): But Trump wasn't always
Schneiderman's Lex Luthor.
In the beginning, the two of them were friends.
When I ran for attorney general in 2010,
he had me come down to Trump Tower
and gave me a campaign contribution, told me you
and I are going to be best friends.
How could you have known not to take that donation?
That was back when he was just an innocent beauty
pageant owner and calling for the execution
of the Central Park Five.
He was, uh, purportedly a legitimate businessman.
How did that pan out?
Things took a turn for the south
when I sued him a few years later for Trump University.
SAMANTHA BEE (VOICEOVER): And the Schneider-man's lawsuit
drove Trump to scorch the Earth with tweets.
Trump is starting to eat you alive.
He has called you a hack, a lightweight, incompetent,
a joke, a total crook, a dopey guy,
and he has said that you wear eyeliner.
Which one of those are true?
I don't think any of them are true.
You have beautiful, brown eyes.
No, no eyeliner.
No, all-- all natural.
OK, I'll put you down for maybe he's born with it.
SAMANTHA BEE (VOICEOVER): And surviving Toilet Hulk
prepared the Schneider-man of Steel for the coming Ragnarok.
Did you know how bad it was going to get?
The day after the election, people were really traumatized.
I called a meeting and said, look,
we are going to be the first line of defense.
We got to have our heads clear. Act.
Don't react.
I also had a staff meeting the day after the election,
and it went a little bit like this.
[CRYING]
Why have you forsaken us?
[CRYING]
I can't do this anymore.
You OK?
OK, let's talk about what's happening right now.
Robert Mueller.
Are you working with him?
I don't comment on ongoing or potential investigation.
If you are working with Mueller,
say that you can't comment on an ongoing investigation.
[SIGH]
Does it really matter anyway?
Because Trump can pardon anyone he wants from federal charges.
Oh, but he can't pardon anyone he wants from state charges.
Schneiderman, you deadly viper.
Deadly viper?
You are going to be a viper in his bosom.
Ah, we're just trying to follow the law, ma'am.
SAMANTHA BEE (VOICEOVER): And this white mamba
might be the one to save us.
We're going to save ourselves together.
You're going to save us?
We're going to do it, but that requires
a lot of people other than state attorneys
general getting engaged.
Please, be my hero.
Look, at the end of the day, you
don't beat a president who's doing the wrong thing in court.
You have to beat people at the polls.
People, people, people, but you're still a hero.
Just a lawyer.
Fine, you're just a lawyer.
Thanks for coming anyway.
Thank you.
[BEEP]
[GASP] I knew it.
Who saw that?
WOMEN (SINGING): Schneider-man.
We'll be right back.
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