Hey what's up guys. Today I'll show you
a comedy-horror film: "The Cottage"! Spoilers ahead, watch out and take care!
A car's going into nowhere in the middle of the night. Two men, namely David and his dim-witted
brother, nick-named Dimwit, enter a secluded cottage; and the two smoke their respective
cigarettes. Dimwit tells his brother that they are going to hell for what they have done. but
David shoves it off, and talks about the weather instead. Then David tells his brother to get
someone out of their car. So Dimwit gets out of the cottage, and unlocks the car trunk. but his
brother stops him before he can open it. David tells him that he has forgotten to do something;
but Dimwit reasons out that he's just not used to it, for he has never done it before. David
leaves Dimwit to wear a black bandit mask, and finally opens the trunk, where we see an
unconscious blonde woman lying down. Dimwit picks the plastic bag beside her, and closes it again.
Dimwit goes back to the cottage, and tells his brother that it is freezing outside, and suggests
that they could at least bring their hostage in. The scaredy-cat Dimwit sees a moth from where he's
sitting. He then commands his brother to get rid of it. The two get into a little argument,
because Dimwit raises the concern if ever things get complicated. Dimwit tells him that if his wife
ever asks him some questions regarding his whereabouts, he could never lie to his wife.
Right after that moment, Dimwit lies and sweet talks to his wife when she answers the phone.
The brothers now approach the car, both wearing masks. David tips his brother to
be quiet as much as possible, if the woman they kidnapped is still sleeping. So they pick her up,
and carry her on the way to the cottage, flinching like kids at ravens flying out from the bushes.
The room up the cottage happens to be locked; that's why Dimwit has to hold the woman carefully
until David finds the key. Dimwit gets distracted by her bust, resulting in the conscious woman
headbutting him repeatedly. David realizes what happened, and picks the woman away, shushing her
inside the room before locking it. Dimwit keeps on crying for his brother's help because his nose got
broken; it is now bleeding so much. David wets a cloth and wipes the blood off him, as Dimwit
throws a tantrum. David orders him to hold still, and pulls his nose to fix the bone. On the other
hand, the blonde woman hears Dimwit's screams downstairs. The movie shows Andrew, a big man,
entering a city club and proceeding to the office. David and Dimwit start to discuss their strategy,
David tells him that their hostage knows who he is, so Dimwit is now in charge of talking to her.
David says that Dimwit has to threaten her into killing her, if ever she causes trouble! Of
course, Dimwit voices out his distaste, but still ends up agreeing, then they proceed to practice
their strategy. Later on, David instructs him to take her phone, and call any of her relatives
and ask for ransom. They return upstairs to where the hostage is. she welcomes them with inevitably
loud swearing, the moment Dimwit pulls the cloth down from her mouth. David comes to the rescue,
and threatens her with a knife. So she quiets down, and sips the coffee Dimwit gives her.
she complains that there's no sugar in it; then starts to mock him that she is able to break his
nose. Dimwit tells her to keep quiet, or he'll break her fingers, for he'll talk to her father,
Arnie, over the phone. He dials Arnie and speaks to him. The woman raises her brows in amusement,
when Dimwit uses a script, instructing Arnie to send his son, Andrew, to the secluded cottage with
the money alone. Dimwit puts the phone in her ear. She tells her father that she's alright;
then calls the two brothers' morons'. She happens to know their names, and starts telling her father
the names of the kidnappers. The hostage stops speaking when David hits her face. The loudmouth
woman starts threatening them with what her family's capable of, and what they can do to them.
She continues to rant until they pull the cloth back up to her mouth.
After that, the kidnappers exit the room. They get into a heated argument downstairs
for the possibility of their plan failing. but suddenly, the lights go out of the
whole cottage. David switches it again, and looks darkly at his brother in annoyance.
On the other side of the phone, Andrew, the hostage's stepbrother, enters the office,
and gets out with a big black bag, which is supposed to contain the ransom money.
He drives towards the cottage, and informs David that he is on the way with the ransom.
On the other hand, another car with two armed men follows after him. These are Chun Yo and Muk Li,
Arnie's henchmen. Shortly after, Andrew meets up with the two brothers, and Andrew is revealed to
be scheming with the kidnappers of his stepsister. Things are now going to a turning point, as they
find out that the bag contains tissues instead of money. The missing money means that Arnie
knew about his son's involvement in the hostage taking. Of course, the brothers start to argue
about their deal. Dimwit throws a tantrum, and tells David that he might just want to go home.
Shortly after, Dimwit gets out to smoke, leaving David and Andrew inside. David tearily says that
he wants Andrew to disappear from his face. The big man says that he'll just check on
the hostage first, now introduced as Tracey. Chun Yo and Muk Li take a look outside the cottage
from their vehicle, and see Dimwit smoking. The two argue about who'll get into the cottage. Muk
Li gets out of the car with a meat cleaver, and takes a peek of the two brothers inside.
Andrew peeks at his stepsister through the room's keyhole, and walks away when she glances forward.
David asks Andrew if he has a bank account. He says he has one, but doesn't know what his bank
account number is! Dimwit asks his brother what they are going to do now. David says they'll use
their mom's account; and that enrages Dimwit, for she will just be dragged into the illegal
activity. but David says it doesn't matter because she is already gone. Dimwit uses David's phone,
and takes a walk outside as he dials his wife's number. Then he requests his wife to get his
mom's folder back in their house. Meanwhile, Tracey uses the bed's footboard behind her,
to remove the cloth on her mouth. She screams loud the moment she removes it,
causing Dimwit to drop David's phone into a puddle on the ground! Andrew and Dimwit rush back up;
and that results in Tracey seeing their faces! David ties the cloth back to her mouth even
tighter. Their plans go down the drain after that. David leaves the cottage with Andrew's car key,
and drives away. Muk Li returns to the car, and informs his mate on who the kidnappers
are. David stops by a telephone booth, and calls Arnie. As David puts the call down,
he encounters some strange locals of old age, staring at him down from the outside of the booth.
He asks them what they are staring at. An old man comes forward, and reminds him to keep his doors
locked. The man's barking dog interrupts David's chuckle, causing him to step back. The man advises
him not to go off wandering. Then David thanks the man and he leaves. Now, Chun Yo goes out to
find Muk Li in the woods, but stumbles on the meat cleaver in a tree trunk. Then we hear a scream.
David returns to see Chun Yo and Muk Li's car alarm going off. He sees the cottage's open door,
and knocks Andrew lying on the ground. They find out that Tracey has already escaped. David forces
Andrew to tell them where Tracey and Dimwit are. Andrew starts telling him how things started to go
wrong. Andrew says he and Dimwit were sitting at the table, when Tracey started banging the floor,
which is also the living room's ceiling. So they both go upstairs, and find out that Tracey wants
to use the toilet. Andrew says it is a bad idea; but Dimwit happens to allow her to. Andrew's way
of telling the story is very detailed. Tracey tells them that she wants to wipe herself up,
unless any of them want to do it for her instead. So Dimwit unties her arms for her to wipe on her
own. but Dimwit gets terrified of a moth inside the toilet room. Just right after untying her,
Tracey takes that chance to launch at them and grab Dimwit, holding him hostage now.
All of a sudden, a stranger who happens to be Andrew's hairdresser, Steven, barges into the
cottage for help. Steven tells him that he was brought there by Koreans pertaining to Chun Yo
and Muk Li. Andrew and David know right away that those are Arnie's henchmen. Then he tells
them to not go out there for they'll die. Those are his last words. The two look down at Steven's
disembowelled stomach; and the two believe that Arnie's henchmen did the crime. Dimwit walks
into the woods, as Tracey points a knife behind him as they move forward. they bicker when they
stumble on a fence, with a sign that says, "KEEP OFF LAND". but the two still climb over it. They
walk until they reach a strange-looking farm. The two enter the farmhouse. Tracey manages to open
the kitchen door. Right after that, Tracey calls out if ever there's someone else in there. But
since there's no reply, the two open a door at the back of the kitchen that leads into a living room.
They see signs of life in the house like a record playing, and a fireplace lit up. They also find
some family pictures on the wall; but some are ripped apart. David and Andrew wander into the
woods, and find the tied-up Muk Li dead. Back in the farmhouse, Tracey finds luggage
with the carving on its cover that says, "YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE ME". But she still opens it.
Meanwhile, Dimwit goes into another room, where a load of moths attacks him. His jaw hurts due
to all the screaming. He manages to find a bag of frozen green peas, and uses it to soothe the pain.
The peas continue spilling to the ground, because the bag is actually opened. Dimwit
then realizes it is a wooden door on the ground leading to a cellar. All of a sudden,
something starts to bang that wooden door. So the terrified Dimwit calls Tracey to help him. He says
that there's something in there. Tracey opens the cellar, but no one's there. Surprisingly,
she sees a human hand on the fridge beside Dimwit. Tracey tells Dimwit that they should get going;
but then the disfigured farmer comes out of the cellar behind her, and stabs her in the stomach.
Dimwit comes face to face with the killer farmer, and exchanges scream with him. He runs upstairs
as the farmer chases after him. He locks himself in a room. but the farmer chops the door open,
resulting in him escaping through the window. But Tracey sees him as he tries to leave. She asks for
help; and Dimwit reluctantly does so, but still runs when he sees the farmer behind them. She
turns around, and asks what the farmer's looking at mockingly; so he kicks her in the stomach,
and is about to stab her. but Dimwit hits his face using a shovel. They start to bicker again,
as Dimwit lights up another cigarette, without knowing that the farmer starts to regain his
consciousness. Tracey tells him to kill the farmer before it kills them; but he just can't
do it. They continue to bicker, until the farmer amputates the end of his foot with the shovel.
Tracey mocks the farmer, telling him to hurry up and kill Dimwit. In frustration, the farmer
shoves the shovel to her mouth, and gruesomely decapitates her at mouth level. He knocks out
Dimwit, and pulls him and Tracey's body away. David and Andrew climb over the farm's face,
and find Dimwit's wallet on the ground. David finds his brother's shoe, but is startled to
see Dimwit's foot falling from it. David enters the farmhouse, and finds old documents about a
disfigured man due to a machine accident and his family. Andrew spots Tracey's corpse outside,
while David finds her head inside the farmhouse, along with many decapitated heads. Andrew tells
him that one just moved; and to their surprise, it's the farmer who now attacks David, and pins
his leg on the ground using a pickaxe. Andrew steps on a rake accidentally, when its handle hits
his head. the farmer picks it up, and slashes his back. The farmer chases Andrew until they reach a
nearby horse stable; and violently attacks him with a knife, before ripping his spine out!
On the other hand, Dimwit regains consciousness, and manages to unhook himself and crawl to where
his brother is. They talk and decide to make up. Eventually, the two help each other to survive.
They enter the farmhouse in search of a phone to ask for help; but the farmer surprises the
brothers by tossing Andrew's head through the window. David tries to protect his brother;
but the farmer impales him with the pickaxe, leaving him to die. Dimwit rages in anger,
and attacks the farmer, then finally strangling him with a rope. But the farmer was able to toss
him to the cellar. The wooden door shuts; but Dimwit still has the end of the rope,
so he continues to tug on it, until the farmer collapses above the wooden door. He attempts to
open it to escape; but the weight of the farmer above is just too heavy. Without any choice, he
descends down the cellar and flicks his lighter, only to be surprised by the farmer's whole family,
with the same horrifying faces surrounding him. He mutters to himself that it must be some joke.
The fire goes out, and he screams as the family attacks him. After the end credits,
it shows Arnie and his men visiting the farmhouse. But before he could step inside the door,
the farmer rushes to them with a pickaxe, and swings it to them; then the screen goes black!
This's Daniel CC Movie Channel! Stay safe and enjoy your day!