Brett Kavanaugh.
(booing)
Uh, don't boo. Vote.
(laughter)
Until recently...
(cheering and applause)
Until recently, Brett Kavanaugh was just some guy
without an inside voice.
But over the weekend, after weeks of controversy,
soul-searching, and a national conversation
about sexual assault,
the Senate said, "(bleep) it"
and made him the newest justice on the Supreme Court.
Brett Kavanaugh will hear his first arguments this morning
as the newest Supreme Court justice.
Justice Brett Kavanaugh will take his seat
as the ninth justice on the high court.
He's gonna take his seat
on the far right side of the bench.
That's where the junior most justice sits.
That's right. Brett Kavanaugh has officially taken his seat
as the junior justice on the Supreme Court.
And I'm gonna say, it must be so weird to be 53 years old
and the most junior person in your job.
Like, the only two jobs where that happens
are Supreme Court justice and Walmart greeter.
You realize that's it.
Now, they don't allow cameras into the Supreme Court,
but luckily, they have released
some audio and courtroom sketches
that gave us a glimpse into Kavanaugh's first day.
The identification of the habitat
is not just in terms of triggering
section seven of the act.
I liked beer.
I still like beer.
So inspiring, man. So inspiring.
Usually when a Supreme Court justice is sworn in,
it's a relatively low-profile thing
in the middle off the day.
You know, it's a small, intimate affair.
But President Trump was like,
"I don't do small. I don't do intimate.
"I do affairs. I do affairs.
But when I have an affair, everybody knows it."
And so in a prime-time televised event,
President Trump took to the stage
to congratulate his newest draft pick.
It was a swearing in fit for prime time.
A dramatic entrance by the president
and his Supreme Court pick,
the other eight justices there looking on,
the applause from supporters roaring.
On behalf of our nation, I want to apologize to Brett
and the entire Kavanaugh family
for the terrible pain and suffering
you have been forced to endure.
You, sir, under historic scrutiny,
were proven innocent.
"Proven innocent"?
"Proven innocent"? Okay.
That's-that's obviously not what happened.
All right, you can't just replace what actually happened
with what you wish happened, Mr. President.
Just like, "Judge Kavanaugh was proven innocent
"after they found the real assaulter of Dr. Ford:
"Robert Mueller. What a twist, folks.
What a twist. So twisty."
Now, Kavanaugh's confirmation process
was a bitter partisan mess,
and many people were wondering whether a confirmed Kavanaugh
would make an impartial judge.
Fortunately, the new justice believes
bygones should be bygones.
The Senate confirmation process was contentious and emotional.
That process is over.
My focus now is to be the best justice I can be.
I take this office with gratitude
and no bitterness.
Every American can be assured
that I will be an independent and impartial justice,
devoted to equal justice under law.
Ooh, Democrats, you going to jail.
No, because something tells me
that this is a guy who doesn't forget, okay?
Yeah, I mean, except for when it comes to his drinking.
Then he forgets everything. But I'm saying,
other things he does not forget.
He will not forget.
(cheering and applause)
Because, I mean-- because, I mean, he's saying nice things
but in the same way that a waiter is "nice"
to picky customers. It's like, "Oh, no,
"we can have this redone with slightly less mayo.
Yeah, yeah. I'm... (hawks): happy to do it. Yeah."
So it's official.
Brett Kavanaugh is now Justice Brett Kavanaugh,
which is a major win for Cocaine Mitch and the GOP.
And by the looks of it, this whole Kavanaugh thing
has Republicans fired up.
REPORTER: A new poll finds that when it comes to voters saying
that the midterms are very important,
Republicans have been virtually able
to erase the gap with Democrats.
We're seeing what is being called the Brett bounce.
REPORTER 2: Majority Leader Mitch McConnell
said earlier in the day that Kavanaugh's confirmation
united the Republican base ahead of the midterm elections.
What I think this has done for us
is provide the kind of adrenaline shot
that we had not been able to figure out how to achieve
in any other way.
"That's right. Can you feel the adrenaline?
"Can you feel it? Mah.
"I can feel the adrenaline
"surging through me right now.
"Yeah. Before, I was like, 'Mah.'
"But now,
now I'm like, 'Bah.'"
So, if you are a Republican,
right now, you are living your best pro-life.
But if you're not, things might seem pretty bleak right now,
because the newest member of a conservative majority
on the Supreme Court just got a lifetime appointment.
But there is a bright side.
If that climate change reporter's right,
a lifetime appointment might be shorter than we think.