[birds chirping]
- Hey there, ma'am.
Can I get you anything?
- [laughs]
Pete, I'm not a customer.
- I don't care.
I'm here to serve you a hot slice
of Pete-za.
[chuckles]
Hope you like extra sausage.
[upbeat electronic music]
- How'd you do that?
- Shh.
Less talk-y,
more dance-y.
[upbeat electronic music]
- You're making me hot.
- Let me put out your fire.
[upbeat electronic music]
[water splashes]
- Wake up!
- Are we opening?
- We've been open for an hour.
I would've let you sleep, but you're rubbing up
against the seat, scaring all the customers.
[children yelling]
- I got to stop having these Pete-mares.
[playful music]
- [man singing] This is America
Land of dreams
Everyone can climb higher
- [women singing] No you know you're stuck here
'Cause you're a part-timer yeah
- [man singing] You can do anything
- [woman singing] As long as it's not hard
- [man singing] And you can go anywhere
- [woman singing] As soon as you get a car
- [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success
- [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are
- [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed
With full-time dreams
And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems
Bad as it seems
What the [bleep] are you doing here?
Whoa
What the [bleep] are you doing here?
Oh
Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?
- I'm going on strike.
- Just because I won't give you Friday off?
- It's my little cousin's career day,
the most important day of these kids' lives!
They get to meet me.
And you want to rob them of that?
- It feels like the responsible thing to do.
- Well, that's it.
If you don't give me Friday off, I quit.
- Go ahead.
I got your replacement right here on speed dial.
- [chuckles]
Don't you dare start with Tony Pepperoni again.
- He's just waiting for my call.
- Any minute now...
no.
- This isn't over.
I'm going to Anton's office.
- Anton doesn't have an office.
- Oh, doesn't he?
[laughing maniacally]
[both laughing maniacally]
- Wait, why are we laughing?
- Well, because Lori said you don't have an office,
and now you do.
- [laughs] Ian, this is so great.
I can't wait to start making executive decisions
and to find out what an executive decision is.
- Dude, you're gonna be great.
Way better that Lori. [laughs]
Hey, you know, I asked for Friday off,
and she totally shut me down.
- So unfair! Where does Lori get off?
- Well, usually in her office with an audiobook.
Hey-o!
- [laughs] Nice!
- Yeah. Oh.
Bing!
Why don't you just give me Friday off?
- Oh, no. Uh, no.
Lori wouldn't like that.
She does all the scheduling.
- Oh, right, right.
Because executive owners don't have any real authority?
- Hey.
I have real authority. - Really?
What have you ever authorized?
- You know what?
I authorize this:
you're gonna get this Friday off,
and every Friday after that.
- Oh, you play hardball.
- Yeah. - I respect that.
You know, pretty soon you're gonna be paying
for all my lunches or something.
[chuckles] - Done.
Here.
All yours.
- Now that's what I call a boss.
There's a lot of ones in here.
[video games beeping and dinging]
- If Ian can have Friday off, I should be able
to get a massage therapist.
- What are you talking about?
- [sighs] I'm so stressed.
I haven't slept in weeks.
Do you ever have dreams where Pete--
- I don't care about your dreams.
I specifically told Ian he cannot have Friday off.
- Well, Ian told me that Anton told him
that he could have Friday off.
- Guys, Ian said that Anton said we could have bathrobe Tuesdays.
- No, we cannot.
And today is Monday.
- Yeah, but Ian said that Anton said today could be Tuesday.
- I'm gonna have that boy on a skewer.
Ian, please come to my office right now.
- Lori, please come to Anton's office.
- Ian, please come to my office and bring Anton with you.
- I'm sorry, Anton is busy right now
and would like Ian to stay in the office with him
to help him with important work.
- Mom, hold for Dad.
Dad, please hold for Mom.
- What important work?
- He's holding a conference call.
- It's working!
- Ian, get in my office.
- No.
- Ian, you have ten seconds.
If you're not in my office,
I will wipe you from this planet.
Ten, nine, eight--
- Seven, six--
- Five--
- Six. - Five!
Stop counting back up!
- I'm sorry, Lori.
I'm going to have to put you on hold.
[upbeat pop music]
- [groans]
[grumbling indistinctly]
Put me on damn hold.
Who the hell he think he is?
- [singing] Bathrobe Tuesdays
Bathrobe Tuesdays
- I totally went into the wrong office.
Anton would've let us get a massage therapist.
- Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's too late.
Just email Ian.
He said that Anton encourages us all to dream big.
- Guys, Anton said I could turn the prize booth
into a rain forest.
- [laughs]
See? [phone dings]
- [gasps] Ooh!
Anton says deep tissue for everyone!
[singing] both: Bathrobe Tuesdays
Bathrobe Tuesdays
- Bathrobe Tuesdays
- I love backrubs and massages
- Bathrobe Tuesdays
- Oh, yeah, it's my pleasure, Pete.
You go ahead and get that laser eye surgery
and we'll just fit it in Pork E. Pine's health plan.
- We don't have a health plan.
What the hell is going on?
- Oh, Anton, your 4:00 is here.
- Oh, yeah. Send them in--oh.
Hi, and welcome to my office.
- It's not your office.
We're in the staff room.
- Well, let's just say that this is where Anton's office begins
and you are over that line.
- You're not pointing to anything.
- It's your toe.
Your toe's over the line.
- It's not my toe, it's the shadow of my toe.
- Well, I think we can all agree here that, uh,
the shadow counts as part of your body.
- Shut up, short stack!
- Oh, look at the time!
I'm so sorry.
We have a 4:05 that's super important.
- Oh, yeah, my 4:05.
- Yeah, so could you please step out?
We have a lot of work to do.
- Oh, you think you have a lot of work to do now?
- Mm. - No.
I'm gonna show you work.
Tell me who--you don't know who the hell you're talking to
'cause your damn office's a staff room.
[grumbling indistinctly]
- [exclaims]
And once we have the trees rooted,
we can turn the ball pit into a pond like this.
Look.
- Wait, I can't see.
A pond would be perfect for the anaconda
that Anton just approved.
It's being shipped in from Miami as we speak.
- Yes.
- What you got going on here?
- Oh, hi, Lori.
- Don't be mad.
You're gonna love what the rain forest air
does to your skin.
- Oh, I'm not mad.
- You're not?
- Actually, I would put a second rain forest
behind the beanbag corner and have a zip line
running in between the two.
- Genius!
Because to feed the anaconda,
you got to drop food in from above.
- Uh-huh. She's so smart.
You're so smart. - Right?
- Mm-hmm.
- There we go.
Now it's clear,
and there's no mistaking your executive suite.
- [sighs]
Do you think we should make a fan page for me too?
- Yes.
- Please get this to Anton.
This is all the work he's gonna need now that he's in charge.
- What is all this?
- Tax forms, invoices, bills.
- [scoffs] - Bills?
- Especially the Internet bill.
It's due immediately.
- It's a trick.
Everyone knows the Internet is free.
- There are also permits you're gonna have to get
for Dinger's rain forest, and the city will want to see
the schematics.
- Schematics?
Oh, Ian, you can just take care of all this.
- Uh, nope. That's above my pay grade.
- But I didn't want any of this.
I just want to be the boss.
You know, like the queen of England.
- That's the prime minister.
The queen is a pretty figurehead
who lifts the spirits around her.
- Oh, like me.
- Right. - Mm.
- So why don't you be queen, I'll be the prime minister
and run this place again.
- No deal.
Anton wants $1 million and an expense account.
- Dude, shut up! I get to be the queen!
You know what?
I'm gonna go buy a bunch of weird hats
and make myself more queen-like. [giggles]
- Anton, wait. No, she's just--
- And my first order of business as prime minister
is to make you work a double shift every Friday
until there are no more Fridays.
Hmm.
- Balls.
[video games beeping and whirring]
- [sighs]
Here's a token of my appreciation
for taking your shifts back,
and I'm sorry I had to cancel your rain forest plans.
- That's okay.
We're all dying anyway.
- Guys, I got LASIK!
- Great. - Oh, buddy.
- Now I'm gonna be having dreams
about having sex with a pirate.
Don't ask.
- Just so you know, we're not paying for that.
- But Anton said that-- - [laughs]
Anton's word doesn't mean anything around here anymore.
- Just ask the surgeon to undo it and give you a refund.
They did that with my appendix.
- But-- - Sorry, Pete.
- [sighs]
I'd cry, but it burns.
[grumbling]
- [whispering] Sorry, buddy.
- Green?
[playful music]