Hey, guys. I'm just back from a swim.
You'll be all very impressed to hear that I did 100 lengths.
Well, I think you did 97.
OK, maybe I did 97.
So, today, I thought I would do something different
and totally hilarious.
Obviously, on YouTube, you're going to get mean comments.
But lately there's been like a massive spike in really nasty
comments on my stuff. Aw.
So I thought I would do a mean tweets video.
For shits and giggles. Here we go.
Can't help it if I'm delicious.
Nailed it!
Jealous much?
OK, jealousy is a disease.
Get well soon, bitches.
Oh, my God, that's hilarious.
OK, I'm sorry, but that's a bit too much.
Like, I'm worried about you if you're worried about me.
Like, get a life. Genuinely.
I don't pretend that I'm sorted.
Like, maybe I have changed.
Maybe I'm not the same person I was a year ago.
Or, like, even a couple of months ago.
Personally, I think that is a good thing. Trust me, it is.
So if you're at home hating on this,
then you do me a favour and unsubscribe
cos, frankly, it's... BOTH: Tragic.
Hello, viewers.
Welcome to this week's episode of Bad Bathrooms.
Some viewers may find the following scenes disturbing.
Ooh, la-la!
We've been forced to have dinner with our dad cos he wants us to
spend quality time with his lame hippie girlfriend
in her lame hippie house. Er, she's his fiancee, I believe.
He is putting a ring on that shit, remember?
Please do not remind me.
And in the bedroom the horror show continues.
It's like the headquarters of a cult.
Imo, look what I found. what?
Romance is not dead.
Oh, my God, Tara, please.
I cannot believe they have sex.
I'm actually going to get sick in my mouth.
Maybe you should take some, Imo.
Excuse me?
Everyone at school is talking about your love affair with Wayne Dwyer.
You never tell me anything.
Course I tell you things.
No, you don't.
I don't know anything about your life.
We never hang out any more.
We're hanging out right now, aren't we?
And some garlic bread.
Just tuck in. Imogene, sweetheart, put the camera away, please.
Dad, I am filming for my vlog.
Capturing the new memories and all that. Away, please.
Brian, it is fine. I don't mind.
I think it's great you're into film-making.
Believe me, it gets pretty annoying after a while.
So, Imogene, I...
I hear you're not eating meat at the moment.
Yeah, I've been a vegetarian for a while now.
Aw. I think it's so wonderful that young people these days are so
environmentally aware. Uh-huh. If only I could get your dad
into vegan life. HE LAUGHS
I keep saying if you're serious about sustainability...
It's actually not an environmental thing.
I just don't like meat.
HE SIGHS
Imogene was very picky with her food growing up.
Weren't you, Imogene?
Hm?
Well, I've made Moroccan couscous and some oven-roasted kale,
so it's super healthy.
And this is beetroot with rocket salad and sprinkled some pine nuts
on top, so I hope you all really like it.
Looks great.
Mm!
Tara.
Imogene? Tell her you're on a liquid diet.
I'm actually fine. Thanks, Louise.
Erm, I'm just going to have my milkshake today.
Is it, erm...?
Are you on a special diet?
I've just been having problems with my digestion recently.
So I've just been having these milkshake meals.
It's, like, easier on your stomach.
Imogene, Louise has gone to a lot of trouble to cook this lovely meal
for us - for you.
So you're going to eat it. You're not going to eat it.
You have no idea what she put into that.
I'm actually fine with my milkshake, thanks.
OK. Some fad diet product is no replacement for a proper meal.
Brian, I don't... It's not a fad diet product,
it's nutritionally complete and it probably has more calories in it
than what you're about to eat. Don't be ridiculous, Imogene.
Since when have you been into nutrition?
Tara, is this a new thing? Since ages ago, Dad.
Maybe if you saw us more than once a year, you would know that.
Exactly. Stand up to him.
So I have escaped the hippie clutches of Louise the disease
and I'm here with my favourite person.
Wayne, get over here. I just want to say,
I am so sorry for everything that happened.
Imo, we have been over this, it's all good. I know,
but I just feel like such a dick and I like you so much and I'm just...
Will you please shut up? Wayne, I just want you to understand that...
Shut up.
Yeah!
SHE SCREAMS
Oh, my God. Come on!
Oh, no, what is that?
Am I moonwalking?
I'm not going to do that, I'm not going to do that. Ah!
Ten points for Great Britain.
I think you'll find that was really bad.
And I'm not even joking. I might've shat myself.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Me. Oh, that was terrible.
You're in a baby swing!
Are we allowed to do this on camera?
Yeah. People do way worse stuff on YouTube.
Like, people have full-on sex on YouTube.
Imogene!
When you messaged me earlier, I did not think I would be propositioned
in this way. Shut up!
Does your mum not watch this, though? Nah.
My mum doesn't even know what YouTube is.
She thinks Snapchat is a card game. SHE LAUGHS
So, guys, Wayne is going to give us a tutorial on how to smoke.
So, everyone, stop what you're doing and take notes.
HE LAUGHS
What? What?
Look at you, princess over here.
You have to actually inhale it.
I did! Did you fuck.
Breathe in a little bit.
Now breathe in again.
Oh, my God!
Eugh!
Are you OK? You're so green.
That was so terrible.
I'm fine.
Do you need some water? No.
Are you OK? Are you sure?
OK. OK.
Someone has had a bit too much weed.
Stop!
No, seriously, though, don't you want to travel?
Like, get out of here and leave this dump in the dust?
Ah. I can't, Imo.
I can't up and leave my mum.
Don't you hate your mum? Of course I don't hate her.
Her drinking drives me mad but...
..I'm all she has.
Is that what you want to do? Bail?
I don't know.
I guess.
I just want to get away for a while.
Work on my channel. You know, somewhere in nature,
like by a mountain or a lake.
Just somewhere I can be by myself without everyone sticking their nose
into my fucking life all the time.
What, all by yourself?
Yeah. I like being on my own.
You'd waste away, Imo.
You're not well enough to be going anywhere.
Excuse me?
I'm just telling it like it is.
Yeah, I didn't come here to get a lecture.
Oh, no, Imo, please, stay.
Don't go. Shut up.
I need you. No, you've really cheered me up tonight.
Seriously. You just wanted someone to get stoned with.
HE SIGHS There are plenty of
smoking buddies around here.
I wanted to see you.
Oh, yeah, why?
Because I like you.
Oh, really?
And you're beautiful.
Wayne, don't take the piss.
Wait, wait.
It was so funny. Like, me and Wayne were trying to go to Domino's
when we were coming home
and he's, like, barred cos he set off fireworks in there
at Halloween when he was like 15.
I'm sneakily fixing myself a snack.
Oh, my God, I swear to God Mum has, like, a hoarding problem with jam.
Like, look at all this shit.
Looks like someone had a fun night.
Imo. FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
I thought that you were cutting out all carbohydrates.
So did I. Jesus, Tara,
like, you nag me when I don't eat and you nag me when I do eat.
Jesus, you stink.
Are you drunk?
Tell her. Why don't you tell her that you were out getting fucked by
wacko Wayne in a field?
Classy. Look, I'm worried about you, Imogene. OK?
You know you'll never hear from him again. You're not yourself these days. He got what he wanted.
Imo. Tara, can you please just back off?
He only shagged you for a bet.
A tenner to fuck the fattest girl at school.
I bet he's out with his friends right now having a laugh
about it all. You're supposed to be my big sister
and you never ask about me or how I am.
Today wasn't easy on me either, you know,
seeing Dad all loved-up with that horrible woman.
Tara, I just don't feel well, I need to get a glass of water.
Yeah, you're only not well when it suits you.
Let me tell you something, Imogene, you're not well, full stop.
Everyone at school is talking about my anorexic sister.
OK, what am I supposed to say?
Anorexic! Ha.
You wish. She says as I stuff my face.
Yeah, after starving yourself for weeks.
Leave me alone, Tara.
It's so obvious that you're out of control. You're a mess. Imogene,
will you please say something? Screwing him in a park.
How desperate are you? Oh, why do I bother? Hello?
Earth to Imogene. You're a slut and a whore and a fat mess. Can you just talk to me, Imogene?
I'm here, OK? You're disgusting,
disgusting, disgusting. Just talk to me.
No!