Many INFJs struggle to express their innermost feelings and thoughts.
They have a lot of energy internally but aren't as vocal about a lot of things.
INFJs hide their feelings for a variety of reasons.
They prefer to spend time in their inner world, which they value.
They are more often than not private people as a result of this.
INFJs as introverts are unable to express their feelings
since it can be tough for them to open up.
They can't just approach somebody and introduce themselves as their friend and begin chatting
about their problems and concerns.
Talking to someone about their feelings is a big issue for them.
From not wanting to irritate others to not wanting to be the center of attention,
there are different reasons why they avoid being vocal about their innermost thoughts and emotions.
So let's have a look at 6 reasons INFJs hide their feelings.
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Ok now that’s out of the way, let’s get started.
They don’t want to upset others
Most people don't understand INFJs and don't want to hear their honest opinions and perspectives
because they speak from intuition and see more than most people.
INFJs view the world in a way that other people do not,
and they also see beyond and through other people.
However, they learn that it is not acceptable to speak aloud about what they see because
people will be upset and will be unable to manage these insights.
INFJs prefer harmony and serenity, hence they prefer to keep their feelings to themselves
rather than upset others and cause a ruckus by expressing themselves.
And they eventually realize how much harm it has done to them to hold everything inside.
Arguments are something that INFJs want to avoid at all costs unless there is no other
option, because they can lead to overwhelming feelings that make them uncomfortable.
However, their peaceful nature has something to do with not wanting to offend people.
They don’t trust others
Most Introverts, especially Intuitive Introverts like INFJs,
have a difficult time trusting others.
The main reason is that they have a finite amount of energy for others and want interactions
to be worth their while.
INFJs often experience trust issues since they've put their trust in someone and had
it betrayed at some point.
This not only makes them feel vulnerable, but it also makes them feel unsafe.
It smacks them in the face with their fundamental values.
When an INFJ gets upset, they often blame themselves for not foreseeing the negative
action in the first place.
They are seeking friends in their lives who will stay, not just visitors.
They don’t want what had happened to them to happen again.
It would not only hurt them again but be a waste of time.
As a result, they are very careful in their connections and who they allow into
their deep inner world.
Only after gaining a person's trust do they begin to open up and communicate their feelings.
They are modest
INFJs may choose to keep their feelings hidden out of modesty.
They do not exaggerate or brag about their accomplishments, and when they do, they tend
to belittle their own abilities.
While INFJs may do this in order to avoid being the center of attention, they may also
believe that no one would be interested in what they want to say or what they feel to
be important because it isn't all that interesting or unique.
While they are thinking about this, they keep their interesting ideas to themselves unless
they are genuinely asked.
They are afraid of having their opinions and feelings neglected or dismissed,
which is why they struggle with expressing themselves openly.
They are not asked the right questions
In some cases, INFJs may keep their feelings or thoughts to themselves because they are
not asked the correct questions that would encourage them to open up
during a conversation with others.
They prefer to listen rather than speak, and they are typically the ones who ask the questions.
However, when someone attempts to encourage them to open up about a topic, they do not
share as much information as they would want to.
It's possible that this is due to a lack of suitable inquiries being asked.
When an INFJ is asked a closed-ended question,
they will just react with "yes" or "no,"
without going into further detail about their answer.
It is possible to pique an INFJ's interest
and encourage them to open up by asking open-ended questions
that are related to their personality type or passion which could be done by finding
a common ground with them.
They are still processing
Processing your feelings appears simple enough on the surface: Identify and describe the
feelings that are brewing, then give yourself time and space to feel how you feel without
judgment before deciding how to address them.
But it's a little more tricky for an INFJ.
It's possible that they'll need additional time to think about it.
INFJs have a harder time processing interactions and situations because of how
overwhelming they can be.
INFJs are also paying close attention to their own thoughts and feelings
as they analyze information.
Whereas some may be able to generate an opinion more quickly
(maybe as fully formed as the definitive version of the introvert's opinion),
introverts like to take their time and make
sure they process the information correctly.
They want to know what they are talking about first before speaking
to avoid confusing other people.
They hate attention
Some people enjoy being the center of attention.
They have no concerns about giving a presentation or a discussion
in front of a large group of people.
They are prone to making jokes, moving, talking, or dressing in ways
that bring attention to themselves.
They can't wait to speak when it's their turn in a conversation.
However, these circumstances are an INFJ's Achilles heel,
causing severe or even paralyzing self-consciousness.
INFJs like to be in the background and listen rather than speak.
This isn't to imply they can't be excellent actors, presenters, and leaders; it's just
that they're usually doing it for different reasons, and the attention is a bonus.
They tend to keep their feelings hidden in this area because they don't want to bring
attention to themselves, which would make them feel self-conscious, embarrassed,
or burdened.
An INFJ can have many reasons to keep their feelings to themselves.
Despite the fact that INFJs spend a lot of time in their inner world,
they rarely share it with others.
That is why they would rather listen to others than talk about themselves.
For the same reason, an INFJ may find it difficult to express their emotions.
But they should know that verbalizing their feelings can help them make sense of it.
It may not be easy to be vulnerable to someone else but taking it slow can really help in
the long run especially when it comes to their mental health and well-being.
If you know someone who is an INFJ, it is best to encourage rather than to force them
to express their feelings.