We all have our own unique set
of habits, desires, schedules, and ambitions.
Sometimes, there's things we do every day
and mindsets we have to guide our lives
for better or for worse.
If lately you've been feeling down, off, or generally unhappy,
but you're not sure why,
this video might shed some light on what the cause could be.
Here are 10 things that are secretly making you unhappy.
1. You're extremely goal-oriented.
Having ambitions and having objectives in life
are great qualities.
They make us excited,
give us something to look forward to,
and achieving them feels empowering.
But there's also such a thing as being too goal-oriented.
Are you telling yourself things like:
I'll feel good when I finally get a perfect grade,
or I'll be happy once I get that promotion?
If you constantly have a habit
of waiting to arrive at certain destinations in life,
it can take you away from being happy now.
2. You value possessions over experiences.
Do you spend all your money on fancy watches,
shoes, clothes, or other material items
to make you feel good?
There's nothing wrong
with pampering yourself with things from the store once in a while,
but according to a 20-year study
conducted by Psychology Professor, Dr. Thomas Gilovich,
our happiness quickly fades after buying things
once they become an everyday part of our lives.
This is known as hedonic adaptation.
Experiences such as music concerts,
kayaking, skydiving, or movies
may not last as long as that new smartphone you bought.
But the positive, exciting memories
could last the rest of your life.
3. You're holding a grudge
When you've been wronged by someone,
it's easy to feel resentful and angry towards them.
And that's a very normal and completely understandable response.
But no matter how badly someone has treated
or how much money they've stolen from you,
holding a grudge with the intent to hurt them backfires
and just ends up hurting yourself.
It may feel good to think
you're justified and deserving of extra kindness
due to how badly you were abused.
But if you never forgive and let go,
the anger will only spiral you
into more negativity and keep you from being happy.
4. You spent a lot of time in the past.
It might feel nice for a while to drift off into past memories
and reminisce over how fond life was:
your first kiss, good times you had partying,
and winning that football tournament
were all amazing times in your life.
But there's a difference
between thinking about the past and living in it.
Keeping your head in the clouds for too long
can rob you of your happiness in the present moment
and make you miss opportunities
that are passing right in front of you.
What's worse is brewing over negative memories,
which will take an even bigger toll on your well-being.
5. You're overly frugal with your money.
Saving your hard-earned cash
and only spending it when absolutely necessary
and on the best possible deals
will help keep your wallet from becoming empty.
But if you're so strict with your budget
to the point that you're never having any fun
or treating yourself with it,
the whole point of trying to save it all
can actually make a dent in your happiness.
Money is meant to be spent after all.
And as long as you're using a little less than you're making,
it's okay to go out to eat
or to the movies once in a while.
6. You're not contributing.
It's natural to feel like
you must keep everything that you own to yourself.
However, according to researchers at Stony Brook University,
when we're generous and give or provide to others,
our brains release several chemicals
that give us a sense of peace and joy.
In another study, Carnegie Mellon University
discovered that people who volunteer around four hours a week
are 40% less likely
to develop high blood pressure than those who don't.
Perhaps giving truly is better than receiving.
7. You avoid all your problems.
Rather than focusing on the fact
you're in debt and have no plan to get out of it,
it's much better to push those thoughts down
with binge video gaming, distracting yourself with social media,
drinking, and snacking.
Or is it?
It's never healthy to dread about your issues and worries.
But if those problems aren't properly taken care of,
they will only create more stress and unhappiness in your life.
It doesn't matter if you're not thinking
about that unaddressed argument
you had with your best friend the other day,
because you're still aware of it subconsciously.
If you never tackle your issues head-on
and try to pretend they're not there,
it may only make things worse.
8. You allow distractions to guide your day.
What's the first thing you do after you wake up?
Grab your phone and start swiping on social media?
What about during your free time?
If you want to win an Olympic gold medal
or become a rock star one day,
it will be a good idea to set time aside to start practising,
working out, and honing your skills.
But if you find yourself
spending your whole day reading through emails,
swiping or texting on your phone,
or zoning out while watching TV or playing video games,
you usually won't feel good
about how you spend your time later in the future.
9. You deflect compliments.
Sometimes, our self-esteem is low,
or we don't want to come off as arrogant or full of ourselves,
so we deflect, reciprocate,
or discount others' positive words about us.
But in reality,
there's nothing wrong with accepting people's kind remarks.
In fact, that's the whole reason
they're complimenting us in the first place.
When we're told we have a nice haircut,
if we respond with phrases like,
"It's okay I guess" or "I wish it looked better",
this isn't the best habit
if we want to feel good about ourselves.
10. You're taking life too seriously.
It's important to be safe, careful, and mindful
of the decisions you make in life.
But if you're continually afraid of what others think of you,
worrying about embarrassing yourself,
or getting upset at every single inconvenience that happens to you
will be stopping yourself from being happy.
Life really is a roller coaster.
After things go down, they'll go back up.
Just laugh, choose to be happy, and have more fun.
Have you identified with any of these?
Do you feel like you have any habits
that are making you unhappy?
Tell us your story in the comments below.
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Thanks for watching!