2017 was filled with cinematic wins, from horror hits like Get Out and It to the continued
superhero domination of Logan, Wonder Woman and Thor: Ragnarok to indie favorites like
Baby Driver and The Big Sick.
But not every movie that made way to the silver screen this year has seen such success.
Here are just some of the biggest stinkers Hollywood produced in 2017.
The Book of Henry
After the positive critical reception of Safety Not Guaranteed and the financial success of
Jurassic World, director Colin Trevorrow made a serious misstep with The Book of Henry.
Sure, his third feature has a fantastic poster, but the film itself was widely dissed and
dismissed.
The pic stars It's Jaeden Lieberher as the title character, an insanely intelligent 11-year-old
who spends his days inventing Rube Goldberg machines, investing in the stock market, and
taking care of his adorable brother.
Henry is so smart as to be obnoxious—constantly correcting every adult around him, from doctors
to school principals.
"Hank."
It's actually Henry.
I'd think you'd be able to retain one single name somewhere beyond that haircut."
This prompted critics to pan the would-be hero as smug and unlikable, even as he tries
to rescue his neighbor from being abused by her police commissioner stepdad by way of
an elaborate assassination plot.
Once his own life reaches the point of peril, it's hard to care about him anymore.
Wish Upon
When Wish Upon hit theaters in July, it faced some steep box office competition from War
for the Planet of the Apes, but that was the least of this film's problems.
Instead, it was the movie's ridiculous plotline that sunk any interest in the film.
It followed a high school outcast named Clare who comes into possession of a mysterious
box that's been possessed by a demon who'll grant her wishes but takes a life in return
for her heart's desires.
While the obvious way to beat this box is to simply stop wishing, Clare just can't get
enough, and keeps wishing for things that are hardly worth the cost.
Critics hated the derivative plot and its superficial centerpiece, and the film barely
recouped its modest budget.
The House
You can hire all the comedians you want, but if you don't have a solid script, then your
movie won't get any laughs.
That was the problem with The House, the latest from Andrew Jay Cohen and Brendan O'Brien
of Neighbors and Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates fame.
Although The House boasts the talents of Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler, instead of giving
them a strong screenplay to work with …
"Which we were kinda counting on…"
It leans almost exclusively on their improv skills.
The so-called "comedy" revolves around a pair of parents who open a casino in their friend's
house to raise tuition money for their daughter, but things get wildly out of control.
Soon, the two become suburbanite mobsters, using drugs and chopping off fingers.
While it seems like this wacky premise could lead to some good gags, most of the jokes
failed to land with critics or those few audience members who bothered to watch.
A Family Man
Gerard Butler has not had a good year, thanks in part to this movie.
The plot for A Family Man follows his ruthless businessman character who ignores his poor
children as he tries to win the favor of his out-going employer and outmaneuver his office
rival to become the new boss, all while drinking a lot of Red Bull.
Of course, things get complicated when his kid is diagnosed with leukemia, forcing our
hero to choose between his son and his job.
All in all, A Family Man is a predictable story that tries to jerk a few tears as Gerard
Butler becomes a good dad, but critics found it hard to relate to or root for his character.
The Emoji Movie
You might think a movie featuring Patrick Stewart as a walking, talking piece of poop
would at least be worth watching as a gag, but The Emoji Movie is such a soulless slog
it deprives you of even that simple pleasure.
It's a movie that's supposedly about being true to yourself, but really, it's just a
big commercial for Spotify and Candy Crush.
A lot of people scoffed at the idea of this movie when it was first announced, and rightfully
so.
The film was obliterated by critics, even though it still turned a profit at the box
office.
The Last Face
There's no denying Sean Penn is a talented filmmaker, but even the very best directors
come up with a bomb now and then.
Unfortunately, The Last Face is so bad that when it played at Cannes, the audience started
heckling the movie pretty much as soon as it started rolling.
The Last Face takes place in countries like Sierra Leone, Liberia, and Sudan, but for
a film set in Africa, it's kind of weird that all the black people are relegated to playing
background roles or mutilated corpses.
Instead, the movie centers on beautiful white people falling in love, which did not play
well to its audiences at the festival or earn wide release as a result.
The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature
The Nut Job wasn't exactly what you'd call a masterpiece, but it made enough money to
prompt a sequel.
Nutty by Nature follows its woodland stars after they're forced to return to the wild,
at which point our furry friends—led by Surly —move into the local city park.
Unfortunately, the mayor plans on chopping down the trees and turning the area into a
theme park—and he hires a group of exterminators to deal with the rodents, forcing the critters
to fight back.
Critics panned the pic for being boring and unimaginative, and it earned less than half
the revenue of its predecessor due to audience disinterest.
The Dark Tower
Hollywood has tried to adapt Stephen King's Dark Tower series for years—and now, after
years of waiting, fans of the novels can finally see Roland shoot with his mind on the big
screen.
Unfortunately, the movie was absolutely awful and failed to capture any of the magic that
made the books so beloved.
The Dark Tower stars Idris Elba as a gunslinger dedicated to protecting the titular tower
and defending 11-year-old Jake from the Man in Black.
Dark Tower should've been a slam dunk, but instead of being as original and exhilarating
as the books, the movie was derided as generic action fare, which is everything King's version
was not.
Flatliners
When the original Flatliners hit theaters back in 1990, it made a pretty penny at the
box office, but still failed to impress many critics.
Compared to this year's pseudo-sequel, though, the original feels like an absolute masterpiece
of horror.
The film follows a group of med students experimenting with life after life.
Their tests involve taking some heavy duty drugs, stopping their hearts for a minute
or two, and checking out the other side before being resuscitated.
Naturally, messing around with the afterlife has serious consequences, but when our heroes
start experiencing some "spooky" visions, the film devolves into Jump Scare: The Movie.
Critics called out the film's lack of suspense, foolish characters, and lacking visuals, leading
many to wish the property would've just stayed dead.
Geostorm
When the trailer for Geostorm first hit, everybody knew we were in for something brainless, but
audiences had their fingers crossed for some campy fun.
Unfortunately, the film had almost no redeeming qualities and got laughed out of the theaters.
The film followed a man trying to save a series of satellites that protect the world from
apocalyptic weather events after somebody sabotages the system.
With catastrophes breaking out across the globe, there's a lot of visual flair in play,
but those action scenes are few and far between, interrupted by long segments of boring, flat
characters staring at a bunch of screens.
The Snowman
On paper, The Snowman should've been awesome.
It stars several formidable thespians and was directed by Tomas Alfredson, director
of Let the Right One In and Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.
But despite all that talent, this film is a bloody mess.
Based on the novel by Jo Nesbø, The Snowman follows an alcoholic detective who chases
a psycho with a thing for building snowmen.
Unfortunately, the thrills are undone by a slew of messy subplots, over-the-top music,
subpar performances, and a bunch of supposedly freaky Frostys that really aren't that frightening.
It also didn't help that The Snowman had one of the worst—and most meme-worthy—marketing
campaigns in recent Hollywood history.
"You could've saved them.
I gave you all the clues."
Instead of being scary, the movie ended up arriving as one of the year's most unintentionally
funny movies … but only after being ... plowed by critics.
Get it?
Jeez.. that's as bad as the movie..
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