- So this thing is about Tom Felton and Emily Rodakowski
playing secret service agents?
Yeah right, and I've never been to a whore house
in Thailand.
- What's up homies, how we doing?
Oh I'm sorry.
What's up Kevin, are you feeling well?
- Do they turn you out of some kind of Seacrest factory
because you're in my star path and you've been on
my dick for years.
What's your beef?
- Listen Centrum Silver, I want your show.
Okay, and you're in the way of that
and everyone knows you're a fuck up so step aside
and let me take it all right?
- If I hadn't had hemorrhoid surgery a week ago
I would kick your ass right here.
- Hi, so we're going to head up to the 15th floor.
We're going to get started soon okay?
So you three please come with me.
- It's like Celebrity Death Match but without
the celebrity part.
(upbeat music)
- You are such a little shit.
I've heard enough.
I think you're just born a douche bag.
- You're so dumb.
- Tom, that's movie's terrific.
No seriously, you are.
- You never stop.
- Do you get that in your mother's milk.
- You never stop.
- [Voiceover] What up guys?
- [Voiceover] Oh my god look, fudge tray.
- [Voiceover] Are you for real?
- Dude.
- I'm available.
- Great.
I will just get on this supermodel's elevator.
- I'm Emily.
- Hey Deckard.
- Oh my god, from Movie Leagues?
- Yeah.
- Wow, I loved your piece on the DC multi-verse.
- Did Kevin put you up to this?
- I don't know who Kevin is, but can I just say
like can we please all agree what Cannon is?
Don't throw away what Grant Guston is doing on CW.
- Oh my god right?
- [Emily] Yeah.
- Why don't you give him a little room jerk face?
- Jerk face?
- Yeah.
- What was that like the hot insult of 1993 or something?
- You know Tom, I want to apologize.
This is unprofessional.
I don't mean to involve you in what we're doing here.
- It's fine, it's fine really.
- No, no, no look, you don't have to bring yourself
into it, seriously.
It's between us.
- That's weird.
- [Voiceover] Ladies and gentlemen, our elevator power
is temporarily shut down.
Please remain calm, sorry for the inconvenience.
- Oh, oh, are you, are you okay?
- You would make an amazing Wonder Woman.
- Okay you know when they say remain calm,
that means that they can't do anything about this
right now.
We are all going to die in here.
- No, no, no, we are not going to die
because I just got verified on Twitter
and it is really hard to do that.
All right, now is not the time.
- Would you just calm down?
- I knew I was going to die with somebody famous.
Take me Lord.
- [Tom] What is he doing?
No one's going to die dude.
- There's a hooker's panties in my glove compartment.
- Is he, is he crying?
- (crying) There's so many regrets I have.
I should have punched you so much earlier.
- So wait, like you've written 23 books
and you haven't published any of them?
Well I'm almost done with number 24.
- I would love to read that.
- You would?
- Yeah, I'd love to get inside that brain.
- Okay.
- You guys need to sort your shit out,
okay, this isn't, it's not professional,
it's not healthy.
Try this.
We used to actually do this on Potter when me
and Maggie Smith would clash.
You're going to look deep into each other's eyes
and say the very first thing that comes to your mind.
- Crypt keeper.
- Job stealer.
- Did you call my crypt keeper?
- Yes.
- That, that, that's no, that was like four words each.
It was supposed to be.
- He did too many words, I did one.
- Well I...
- I did one word, so I followed the rules.
Let's try something else.
- This is taking a while, yeah?
- Wait, we're not in the elevator right now?
- No.
- Honestly this whole time I thought we were
in the elevator.
- Yeah, no, no, we're definitely not in an elevator
right now.
- We haven't gone anywhere?
- No, we're definitely in the lobby.
- What floor are we on?
- In a lobby.
- Shake it, get that energy out.
- You don't exist because you're not on social media.
- Hummmmm.
- Kevin you're really kind of my role model.
- You're a cat, you're a cat.
- Christopher, I feel like you're my son.
Am I cat too?
- No, you're a unicorn.
- Woo, running.
- Let's hug it out.
- No, no, with Christopher, Christopher.
- [Kevin] (crying) You're like a son to me, like a son.
- Do you ever feel like these kind of things happen
for a reason?
- Like when Kylo Ren murdered his father Hans Solo.
- Spoiler alert, but yes.
- I do.
(sighing)
- Oh.
- Oh hey, guys this is Emily.
We were just trapped in the elevator
and it was magical and...
- I was just trying to be nice.
- Oh sorry.
- Call me.
(dinging)
- Hey thank Tom, thanks, thanks a lot.
- Tom, thank you very much.
- All right guys.
- Yeah, I just wanted to be clear on something.
If anyone catches wind of this I'm just going
to deny it.
- Deny what?
- Exactly.
- All right, cool.
(rock music)