- It's not delivery, it's a frozen pizza taste test.
- Lets talk about that.
(upbeat music)
- Good Mythical Morning.
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- Pizza, I thought we'd done it all.
We've done fast food pizza,
will it pizza,
international Pizza Hut pizzas,
pizza styles,
pizza crust,
and human pizza which was me.
But somehow, someone, somewhere dropped the ball
(coughing)
David Hill.
(coughing)
Because we have never done frozen pizza.
- But today we are giving you the definitive ranking
of that patron saint of divorced dads
and apathetic babysitters,
grocery store frozen zah.
It's time for "Which frozen pie will win our heart
"and which one tastes like a cardboard fart"?
- We're gonna be tasting six different frozen pizza brands
most commonly found in the average grocery store
and they are
Digiorno.
- Red Baron.
- Amy's.
- Tombstone.
- Kirkland Signature.
- And Totino's party pizza.
- Mm hmm.
- We're gonna be scoring each one to determine the best.
And we'll also be trying to guess which is which.
And whoever loses will get freezer burned.
You're gonna see what that means later.
Lets eat.
- [Rhett And Link] Round one.
- As you can see, we can't.
- Each pizza will be brought to us on
the patent pending Abominable Dough Man.
- [Link] Oh well all right, lets bring in
that Dough Man hand.
First pizza (gnawing).
Now it's gonna all be cheese pizza
to level the playing field.
- (exclaims)
I mean that's a good place to start.
- I mean I'm just plain hungry so...
- Right I'm really hungry
and it's like when you go to grocery store very hungry
and you buy everything.
- Mm hmm.
- That's what's happening to me right now.
Bring that back in Dough Man.
- The sauce is not too sweet,
the cheese is not too memorable.
- The crust is very thin but crispy.
- Yeah me see if I can (gnawing).
- I'm feeling-- (gnawing)
I'm feeling lots of good feelings about this one.
Like--
- Well I'll tell ya right now.
- That-- - The crust is--
- That's a good combination.
- The back crust is flat.
- Oh you went to the back crust?
Where's the back crust?
- It's in the back.
So that kinda helps with my guess
even though I'm gonna be guessing blindly for,
well for all of these technically.
But as far as the rating one to 10,
lets go ahead and weigh in on that.
- I know my really hungry
and I really like pizza
and it's kinda tough to screw up pizza
so I don't wanna go too high.
So all that taken into account,
I feel like I gotta give this a solid seven.
- I'm gonna give it a six and--
- [Crew] You ready to guess?
- I don't know which one has,
doesn't have a crust,
it's like flat.
- I have a guess.
I have a guess. - [Crew] Okay.
Three, two, one.
- Totino's party pizza. - Red Baron.
You think that's a pizza by unrolled?
- Yeah.
- A pizza roll unroll. - Because.
Because of the end crust being so flat.
If you were to take a pizza roll
and unroll it,
where's the crust?
It's flat that's how they make Totino's pizza.
- Maybe. - It's a party.
(whooshing) (game show music)
- [Rhett And Link] Round two.
- Okay bring in that other pizza.
(gnawing)
This is not, this is not as good
right off the bat.
I feel confirmed that I enjoyed the first one more.
- And the reason why is because immediately the sauce
just tastes cheap, it's just tastes very sweet
but shallow even though ironically the pizza
itself is taller.
(laughing)
I don't know what you're doing but stop it.
(laughing)
Lemme take another bite at the back.
- Okay I learned some things.
It's not crispy.
- What were you doing?
- The Dough Man let me down.
He dropped the pizza.
- Seriously?
- Yeah and I had to go low.
- The crust is-- - When he goes high,
I go low.
(laughing) - The crust is low
on this one.
- The crust is doughy in a not good way.
Like I would say that's frozen pizza.
Like you know what I'm saying?
That's frozen pizza.
- Ima give this a four.
- I'm gonna -- - You know what?
Ima give it a three.
- I'm gonna give it a three.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna give it a three
and so I'm feelin' like this is something
that (sighing)
I don't know what the budget brands are really.
I mean I would think that--
- Well Totino's is the cheapest of our list.
- Well they're doing great
because that first one was definitely Totino's
and I loved it.
- Whatever I ready to guess.
- [Crew] Okay.
- I got a guess.
- [Crew] Three, two, one.
- Red Baron.
- Kirklands.
- Ah yeah this feels like something that's just
going completely off of the ad campaign.
(whooshing) (game show music)
- [Rhett And Link] Round three.
- Man this is good.
- Yeah I'm having a great time.
- This is good to do,
lets do it some more.
Aye.
- (exclaiming) (laughing)
Oh hot.
Oh it's so hot.
- That is a fluffy pizza,
the dough is thick,
the dough is fluffy on top--
- The dough is good.
- Crunchy on the bottom.
- Can I have some more?
- Mm hmm.
- Let me have some more of that.
- Oh that's some signature dough.
(laughing)
That is signature dough man.
Which ones got signature dough?
- I went around back,
got me some crust.
- Yeah I got some crust as well.
That's a good pizza man.
Now I gotta say--
- And you add toppings it gets even better.
But I mean that reason why their not there--
- It's almost-- - Is so we can
set a playing field.
- It's almost, it's almost got a deep dishes
quality to it you know what I'm sayin'?
Like that's a thick pizza.
I really had to open my small mouth to get it around it.
- Now how many go with that deep dish quality?
- I don't know.
- That plumpify.
I know there's one that plumps.
- Okay well I'm gonna first give it a score of,
I feel like that is...
Now again I really did like that first one
but I feel like this one feels just
a little fancier.
- So in retrospect--
- Eight.
- It's not as good.
Eight? - I'm gonna
give this one an eight.
- Ima give it a niner.
- Whoa okay.
- I loved it.
- [Crew] (laughing) Okay you ready guess?
- Oh man yeah I guess. - Yeah.
- [Crew] Okay three, two, one.
- Digiornos. - Digiorno.
Not delivery we agree.
- You think so huh?
- Signature dough.
(whooshing) (game show music)
- [Rhett And Link] Round four.
- You ever had anybody feed you pizza?
In a non work environment?
- This is the only way that I enjoy pizza.
- Ahhh.
- My wife or children feed it too me.
- Oh, gotta watch out for that point.
- That's interesting.
More, please.
- I know what this is just by the smell.
- Really?
- Mm hmm.
- What kinda smell? What're you talking about?
- You describe it.
Describe what you taste or smell.
- It's the sweetest,
it's the sweetest sauce yet.
- I think two ago was the sweeter sauce.
- It's unique I don't know, I can't...
Lemma get the backside.
- Hi, hi, hi.
- Uh oh.
- The backside is less interesting.
- Yeah, there's no interest there at all.
- I wouldn't call the sauce sweet,
I would call it "Basily".
I think what I'm smelling is basil.
Or basil.
- And you have a--
- Or "basille". - And you have a sneaky
suspicion which one has "basille"?
- Oh I know what's up here.
In terms of one to 10s on this thing--
- It's very, it's all it's own.
That's what I gotta say
and I don't think I like what it is
but it's all it's own I gotta give it that.
But for score I gotta give it a five.
- Me too, five.
- [Crew] Okay, ready?
Three, two, one.
- Amy's. - Amy's.
- Mmm ah yes. - See I didn't wanna
say too much because I felt like I--
- No I think-- - This was my opportunity
to get one right.
- Well I think you're right
because it was the most unusual
and you gotta think that the one trying the hardest
to be like, in wholefoods,
is gonna be the most unusual
so probably right.
(whooshing) (game show music)
- [Rhett And Link] Round five.
- Okay watch out for that point,
they'll poke you now.
- Oh my Dough Boy's doing a good job--
(gnawing) of not poking me.
- My Dough Boy.
That is a thin, cheap--
- That's not good.
But I still want more.
- This is a...
This is the cheapest pizza I've tasted.
Ever.
It's got that thing where you the crust crispy
and then like it kinda bubbles up
and then there's like air between even more crust
and then there's like maybe ingredients on top.
Maybe not.
- It tastes old and forgotten.
(laughing)
It tastes uncared for and neglected.
(laughing)
That is not a good pizza.
And you know what?
The bad tastes keep on comin'.
It's the gift that keeps on giving.
- I'm gonna give it a one - I'm going to a one.
I'm going to a one.
- I'm giving it a one.
- I got the aftertaste and it dropped my score to a one.
- Now I think if you put like some
of those cubed pepperonis on top of it
and you only paid a dollar for it,
then you might be in a different head space
and you might love it
but in this world we're in,
it's a fail.
- Okay and I feel pretty good about my guess.
- [Crew] Okay here we go.
Three, two, one.
- Totino's. - Totino's party pizza.
- Oh so you're doubling up?
- No the reason I believe that's Totino's
is not just because it's cheap,
it tastes like a pizza roll
and I just realized now I don't enjoy the pizza roll.
- Well the pizza rolls have a bunch of stuff inside
but when you unroll it,
it must slide off onto the floor.
- (laughing) That's what happened.
(whooshing) (game show music)
- [Rhett And Link] Round six.
- And for the final taste.
- More pizza. - Do it.
That was a little tall.
- That's not bad.
- That's good.
It also tasted a little soap though.
- That might've been on your Dough Boy's hands.
- Lemme get another.
- Now that is, I wouldn't be fooled
into thinking that wasn't anything but a frozen pizza,
I will say that right off the bat,
but it's a solid offering of frozen pizza.
It's crispy, the cheese and the sauce
are pretty good.
- Mm hmm it's salty but sweet. - It tastes passable.
- Yeah.
- I'd make a meal of that.
- I would say none of them really overwhelm me
when it came to cheese.
I'm not experiencing a good cheese thing with any these.
- I think the first one had really good cheese.
I really do.
- Well with this one I'm gonna give it a seven.
It's not...
It's pretty good.
- That's a really good score.
- Yeah.
- I was gonna give it a six.
- Well give it a six man. - I'm gonna give it a six.
- Don't hold back.
I have no clue what it is
so I'm ready to guess.
- [Crew] Okay three, two, one.
- Tombstone. - Tombstone.
Oh we agree again.
- We're so much synergy. - We've guessed the same thing
for four--
- [Crew] Are you sure (stammering)
I'm gonna give you a final answer choice
'cause you did guess the same for four,
and that's when it kicks in that I get to give you
the chance to change on of your answers right now.
- Do you wanna?
- [Crew] But you can leave it the same if you want.
- I'm gonna change my answer to Red Baron.
- Well I'm gonna change my answer to Red Baron.
- I'm gonna change my answer back to,
I'm back to Tombstone.
- Me too, back to Tombstone.
- Okay lets remove the blindfolds.
- [Crew] Okay we're locked at Tombstone for both of you?
- Yes. - Yes apparently.
- Yeah okay.
- All right - [Crew] Okay so,
ima tell you-- - so bright.
- [Crew] You're runner up pizza
that you guys liked the second best was
a tie between Tombstone
and Red Baron.
And your favorite pizza was Digiorno.
- Dude what? - Huh?
- Digiorno? Digiorno.
- [Crew] Oh sorry.
(laughing)
I'm really focused-- - Digiorno.
I'm really focused on the fact
(coughing) that I'm about
to give your scores
and Link was so close here 'cause--
- Do a clean sweep.
(laughing)
- [Crew] No.
Rhett you got two correct.
- Okay.
That's not good. - [Crew] Link
you also got two correct
but the last one was Red Baron
and you joked that you were gonna change it--
(groaning) And you changed it back.
- That means that we both lost
and we both get freezer burns.
(whooshing)
- Hey guys.
(laughing)
Rhett, you're like a low calorie ice cream,
barely touched. (laughing)
And Link you're like a tray of ice cubes...
- What? - Predicate and tasteless.
(laughing) Freezer burns.
(laughing)
- A tray of ice cubes.
- It was a tray of ice cubes.
These freezer burns man,
they're harsh.
(laughing)
- You got one more?
Come on out, give us one more.
- Give us, can you give us...
Can you give us a collective one?
- He don't even wanna come out.
Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
(laughing)
- Hi I'm Heather from Akron, Ohio
and I'm currently chilling in my pizza blanket that I made
and it's time to spin the wheel of mythicality.
- Pizza blanket. - Pizza blanket.
Click the top link to watch frozen,
frozen pizza taste.
(clanking)
- And to find out where the wheel of mythicality
is gonna land.
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