I feel so tonight I don't hey guys
welcome to stir crazy the show that will
eventually make you think how many
search does that guy own yesterday is an
actress and comedian who's about to drop
her first special on Comedy Central hot
for my name it's esther povitsky yes I
know do you mean that in like people
will think you have too many shirts or
too little shirts so every episode I do
wear a different shirt what as an
audience member would you think this
guy's high maintenance what do you think
I would think just cleanliness or
that said I have been wearing this shirt
for four days in a row so I don't
practice what I preach necessarily how
do you smell right now we don't have a
smell I smell good because I don't
physically move my body at all during
quarantine so I have I don't need to
change my shirt I'm completely clean
this brings up a very special game we
like to play on stir-crazy we call it
who walked Wes you have your phone next
to you you know what I don't hey it's
downstairs and I am gonna honestly I'm
not going downstairs for you it's not
you need to add so much value to my life
for me to go up or down stairs wow this
or not I don't feel it yet so Esther I
feel like you automatically win the who
off to Wes game because you're not even
willing to put in one step for
me but I'm also so lazy that I started
to wear a fanny pack around my house so
that like I can have all the things I
need wherever I am and don't have to go
to a different room these are desperate
times we have to conserve our energy as
much as possible desperate is a really
good word when you talk about me in so
many ways the name of a special was hot
for my name you mentioned that it sounds
like you have a conflicted relationship
with your own name oh my god growing up
whenever there was an Esther in a movie
it was not a good thing to be the Esther
in the movie like it was just it was the
butt of the joke and also growing
every time I meet someone they're like
Esther that's my great grandma's name I
never met her because she was so
decrepit and not well but that was her
name I heard you don't like the word
morning
I don't it's just a creepy word right
like there's so many cuter words we
could use I would much rather tell a guy
or girl or whoever I'm hot and ready it
conveys the same message but it also
makes it sound like I might be slice
pizza
nobody can or should object to let me
run through some other words you tell me
if they pass your smell test 50 if you
like these okay people hate the word
moist I don't fully get if it's the
actual sound of the word or what the
word like evokes is a is evoke the right
word yes the next word I was gonna ask
you I'm fine with moist when phlegm is
rough when even the spelling of phlegm
is like Flemmi it's just not great
Gleaner Gorder is tough that always
makes me think of that Seinfeld episode
where they talk about the person with
the goiter I still don't know what a
goiter is I just know that you don't
want it according to Seinfeld
how about engorge that's a tricky one
that is that makes me think of my
stomach when I was 17 it's not great
what's your favorite word what's the
word you use most its doughnut tell us
about donut what do we need to know
about donut her full name is donnatella
ponzu she's my daughter let's let's try
some pet therapy okay okay
[Applause]
they'll face the face donut and I want
you to talk to each other tell us what's
on your mind I want to hear what's on
Donuts mind I want to get to the bottom
of this relationship
okay don't know I want to tell you
something I feel donut donut I feel sad
when you choose daddy's lap over mommy's
lap because mommy has the one that
forced daddy to buy you we adopted her
from Craigslist okay all right don't
it's over you or me or us or something
she's in charge and she knows that in
quarantine I feel like you've emerged as
a fashion expert
I was hoping that maybe you could give
me and the audience some fashion tips in
this this quarantine is is like made for
my fashion style because I like to call
my style celebrity at the airport right
like I like to look like a celebrity on
their worst day I got some but but still
nice you know like you sweat pants and
like this tiny shirt looks like it could
be expensive you know maybe I would like
to see you in a sweat pant from your
younger years and then a t-shirt from a
poem about Mitzvah is really what I wish
you were wearing okay for our next
conversation can you show me a little
bit of your wardrobe and you give me
some examples and I know you love
tie-dye can you show me some tie dye
examples yes
masks is fashion acceptable we can we
can make masks fashionable I mean we
have no choice it's the only good thing
to come out of all this is that there's
a new fashion accessory that like people
can actually afford to buy because it's
so small hey I've got some questions for
you I have some time you rather
questions
will you rather have wrinkles tattooed
around your eyes or every time you fart
it smells like a skunk blasted the room
I like skunks I'm a forest creature so
I'll do this gun core out that might
impact your social life I mean that's
I already smells so bad it cannot make
things worse for me I have constant bad
breath and my bad rug it's so unfair
because it's not even like a mouse
cleanliness issue my mouse is totally
clean it's like the call is coming from
inside the house kind of bad breath
words like my stomach is rotting and
that's what causes it so sorry we're
doing this remotely that's a shame we
call this the Dakota Johnson question
because she posed this to me on a
previous episode would you rather have
your mouth filled with bees or have one
bee in your butt a being my butt sounds
totally manageable I agree right who has
you had to be in there but at some point
up until this you know the rite of
passage for many gonna happen would you
rather be awake forever or sleep through
your wedding sleep through my wedding
because I'm not having a wedding and
that's beside and no is your fiance
still there did you kick him out yet is
he what's the sake of the affair it's
great we he sleeps till 3:00 p.m. and I
go to bed he and I go to bed like five
hours after that we have five hours
together during the day and it's
actually perfect I see him in the home
like hey it's you have you been oh
you're still getting hurt cool should we
play a little charades s31 play some
charades
[Applause]
okay sucks okay your rain falling rain
falling raindrops keep falling on my
head
rain drinking the rain rain rain rain
rain water water rain is rain part of it
rain but but in the rain be in the butt
rain rain falls on my butt what what
could I get it got it today yeah done
water like this not like this oh you're
in an escape room you're scared you're
drunk you're you're adding more
and more you're blackout drunk if you
keep drinking oh I wish I was there we
just started stealing my stuff
a martini a cocktail martini teeny
cocktail teeny quarantine or Dini corn
teeny we are we got we got there wow I
can't believe you have fancy glasses are
you like 50 years old you have dusty it
is I've never used this oh my god I'm
sweating now I've learned so much I'm
gonna go make some tie-dye for myself
thank you for having me this has been
really fun I wish I could have robbed
you when you went in the other room but
you know next time when there's a
vaccine I'll get to do that forward to
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you
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you