Mother's day is coming up fast and you've
got to be ready for that.
Everybody ready for Mother's Day?
[CHEERING]
You can't forget that.
Don't want to forget it.
I'm giving my mama something that she's always wanted.
I'm setting her up--
She's going to get a date with Remington Steele and--
[LAUGHTER]
I remember as a young child she talked about it.
So.
[LAUGHTER]
One of the most popular gifts for Mother's day is perfume.
Did you know that?
They love the perfume.
And so, so many different scents to choose from.
And so I thought I'd give you options to remind you
of the different ideas.
These are real, by the way.
Very real and you can get this at Sephora.
It's a-- You know, Sephora.
The store.
And--
[LAUGHTER]
--this one is called Laundromat.
[LAUGHTER]
Laundromat because what women--
I mean, what woman would not want to smell like this?
[LAUGHTER]
Obvious.
I mean, you'd see that and you go perfume.
I mean, that's just--
I don't know why it took some one genius to figure it out.
We all pass by a laundromat and never thought of it before.
The problem, the only problem with--
When you open it, it's--
[WASHING MACHINE NOISES]
[LAUGHTER]
Very, very--
[WASHING MACHINE NOISES]
Yeah, it's noisy.
[LAUGHTER]
So--
[LAUGHTER]
--you wouldn't want to put this one
on when you're in this place.
This is called--
The names, these are real.
I promise you.
This is called In The Library--
[LAUGHTER]
--and it says, this is how it's described, musty,
worn, clothbound book with just a hint of mildew.
[LAUGHTER]
Only a hint of mildew?
[LAUGHTER]
I'm not going to get it.
I'm going to wait until the one that comes out is 100% mildew.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't want just a hint of mildew.
This one cost $65.
[GASPS]
I know it.
I don't know why anybody would pay that much when you
can get this for under $10.
[APPLAUSE]
This is--
[APPLAUSE]
Good old Jean Nate.
[APPLAUSE]
This was-- When Columbus came over in the ship this was--
[LAUGHTER]
Scooped it up and bottled it.
Columbus, his wife was named Jean Nate.
[LAUGHTER]
Homeschoolers, write this stuff down.
[APPLAUSE]
The great thing about Jean Nate is you can wear it any time.
And I know that because on the back of the bottle
it says that.
It says, "Just splash it on any time, anywhere."
[LAUGHTER]
Anytime, anywhere.
So you can just take it and you say, "Oh, I'm
so sorry for your loss Beverly, but what a beautiful funeral
this is."
[LAUGHTER]
Ah, it brings back memories, the Jean Nate.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't know who Jean Nate is, really,
but I know that a lot of celebrities
have their own perfume.
Paris Hilton has one.
It's called Fairy Dust.
J.Lo has something called Glow.
Richard Simmons has one called [SCREAMS]
[LAUGHTER]
And, ah--
[LAUGHTER]
I'm a celebrity.
And I thought, well, why don't I have my own perfume?
I should create my own perfume.
And so I have and it is called Me.
[LAUGHTER]
And--
[LAUGHTER]
It smells--
[APPLAUSE]
--like me.
[CHEERING]
It smells like me--
[LAUGHTER]
--because it's just water.
And when you wear it, it'll smell like you.
[LAUGHTER]
But you're going to have to pay me.
[LAUGHTER]
And that way, when somebody says what's that smell?
And you go, it's Me.
And then, see?
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING]
[APPLAUSE]
And I figured out, I can make some more cash too.
Because, you know how they make two versions.
They have a high end and then they have a regular.
So I'm going to make eu de toilet Me and--
[LAUGHTER]
--that's just made from toilet water and--
[LAUGHTER]
--your dogs will love it.
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]