Japan was actually successful in getting President Trump
to delay his tariffs, right, and they agreed on new terms.
But when it came to presenting a unified front
against North Korea,
it looks like a double cheeseburger just wasn't enough.
President Trump says North Korea's recent missile tests
are not an issue for him.
The president disagreed with Japan's prime minister
at a news conference in Tokyo overnight.
REPORTER: The president dismissed North Korea's test
earlier this month of short-range missiles,
some of which could be capable of hitting Japan.
It doesn't matter. All I know is
that there have been no nuclear tests.
There have been no ballistic missiles going out.
He directly contradicted his own national security advisor,
John Bolton, and Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe,
who say Kim Jong-un's tests
violate United Nations Security Council resolutions.
I view it differently.
I view it as a man-- perhaps he wants to get attention
and perhaps not. Who knows?
"And perhaps not. Who knows?"
I feel so bad for Japan.
President Trump basically just said,
because North Korea's missiles can't reach the U.S.,
that's Japan's problem, not his. Yeah.
Can you imagine the poor translator
who had to pass the message along?
He was probably like, "Uh, President Trump says,
uh, he does not give a shit."
And-and, to add fuel to the fire,
not only was Trump not standing up against Kim Jong-un--
no, he took it to the next level.
He teamed up with the Pillsbury dictator
to fight the real enemy,
the Democrats.
REPORTER: President Trump's also siding with Kim Jong-un
over his recent comments attacking political rival
former Vice President Joe Biden,
the Korean leader referring to him as a low IQ individual.
Does it give you pause at all
to be appearing to side with a-a brutal dictator
instead of with a fellow American,
the former vice president, Joe Biden?
Well, Kim Jong-un made a statement
that Joe Biden is a low IQ individual.
He probably is, based on his record.
Uh, I think I agree with him on that.
-(groaning) -Holy shit.
Look, I-- Like, I know we've gotten used to Trump
being friendly with dictators,
but, you have to admit, this is on a whole different level.
Right? Taking sides with Kim Jong-un
against Joe Biden?
And I don't-- Like, I don't like to do the whole
"can you imagine if Obama did this thing,"
but can you imagine if Obama did this?
Like, imagine if Obama took sides
with a foreign leader against an American.
Like, imagine if he took sides with, like,
the ayatollah of Iran against Mitt Romney, all right?
If he was out in Iran, he was like, "Uh, the ayatollah says
"that, uh, Mitt Romney is so white
"mayonnaise spreads, uh, him on bread.
"Am I right?
"Am I right? Yeah. Uh, to that, I say,
"uh, yes, we can agree on that.
That was funny."
Imagine if he did that.
So not only did Trump go against Prime Minister Abe
in condemning Kim Jong-un-- he also basically RSVPed
to the North Korean roast of America's former VP.
But in true-- in a true testament
to Japanese hospitality,
they didn't let any of this faze them.
In fact, they invited President Trump to a special event.
They invited him to be the guest of honor
at a major sumo wrestling competition.
REPORTER: This weekend, Abe took the president
to see a sumo wrestling match,
something Mr. Trump has called fascinating.
REPORTER 2: Donald Trump is up close.
A special position has been prepared for him
far enough away so that wrestlers won't fall on him.
(laughter)
So that wrestlers won't fall on him?
You have to admit, that's a smart decision.
I mean, can you imagine if an American president
was killed because a sumo wrestler fell on him?
It would be too humiliating.
Like, you have JFK and then this?
Like, how would the news even announce what happened?
"Some horrible news at this hour.
"The president of the United States
has been smooshed."
Like, let's be honest, if that happened,
America would just have to close up shop after.
You can't be a superpower anymore
if your president was assassinated by a butt cheek.
It's over.
-It's done. -(applause)
It's finished.
(cheering and applause)
So, luckily,
luckily, the president sat far out of squishing range.
And once the danger was over, he was allowed to enter the ring
for a really special moment.
NEWSMAN: The president presented
a nearly 70-pound President's Cup Trophy
to the winner.
(cheering)
As Sumo Grand Champion, I hereby reward you
the United States President's Cup.
(cheering, whistling)
(cheering)
Wow!
That's really generous of President Trump
to give away the cup he drinks Diet Coke out of.
What a gesture!
That's nice!
And I don't know if you noticed this,
but just as Trump was walking out of the ring,
he gives one final look back.
Yeah, just like for a moment
he thought about taking on that sumo wrestler.
Did you these eyes? It's almost like he's like,
"If I beat him, I become the ruler of Japan."
It's like, "Sir, that's not how that..."
(like Trump): "The ruler of Japan!"
But seriously, though, I do think it's cool
that Trump participated, and I think we should give him
a little credit for attending the event.
Yeah. Because you know Mike Pence
would never be caught dead in that room.
Yeah, think about it-- it's two naked guys in thongs
rubbing their bodies together.
Yeah, forget a trophy-- Pence would be giving them a Bible,
trying to convert them out of sumo.
"Jesus wants you to take up bowling, okay?
"Just move on.
You just put your fingers in the hole-- oh, no!"
(laughter)
-So that... -(applause)
So that's basically...
President Trump's trip to Japan.
And everyone came out a winner.
That's good news. Trump had a blast.
Managed not to break his all-cheeseburger diet.
Uh, Japan strengthened their ties with an important ally.
In fact, the only loser in this whole thing
is everyone at the White House, because apparently,
Trump brought back a little souvenir.