What happens when 800 of the world’s most elite footballers
and their managers live together under one roof?
Players stop being polite
and start getting Real.
This is
The Champions
Despite recent results,
we already got the historic quadruple this season.
We were investigated by
UEFA, FIFA, the FA and the Premier League!
I followed in the footsteps of the greats...
by leaving Southampton!
You think Icardi's a dog?
I shagged me brother's missus.
-Alright, and that's all we need.
Thank you for coming in, Mr. Giggs.
Send message:
Hello, lads! Meet me in the backyard for a smashing good time.
Why did Harry Kane text us to...
cheese him in the backyard for a crashing wood crime?
Nothing to be scared of, Phil, it's just a tent.
Oh, I'm not scared. This is my happy face.
Gentlemen, welcome to Tentingham!
Oo wunderbar.
This must have taken you all weekend.
Yeah...all weekend...
Come in, come in.
I thought we'd have a casual day baking.
It's so new.
Oh my dog.
It looks like a toilet seat.
Hello. Remember me? I'm Arsene.
And I am the Special One.
Welcome to the Great British Baking Derby!
While we're all optimistic, when it comes to a big game,
Spurs have a tendency to be rather...
-Spursy?
That's the word!
So I asked myself, "If I were British
and wanted to a win a trophy, what would I do?"
So I organized a baking competition!
Now, every competition needs judges,
so I found the most judgmental
and also out-of-work people that I know.
And to ensure that we win,
I've had the boys practicing baking for weeks now.
Hopefully this works. And we should win,
because after all,
we are the only team ready for this.
F--k yeah, we are ready for this!
Whoa. You guys have more resources than I do?
Oh no.
Liverpool's pies have somehow been impressive all season,
but something tells me they will slip up in the final.
Just a fun day out, he said. No stress, he said.
All of a sudden I'm under a lot of pressure to score...
ALL THESE PIES!
Come on, we need to go higher.
Uh, I fear we may have reached our ceiling.
Tottenham are making a Tottenham cake
which is pink and fun, but also crumbly and fragile.
I'll put the proof in the pudding.
Ow! My ankle. Now I've got soggy bottoms.
Oh no.
Man City will be making a perfect Manchester tart.
For the literal cherry on top,
I'm having the finest Maraschino cherries
flown here on a private jet.
We are just so happy to have you on our team.
For their signature bake, Manchester United are making...
a huge mistake.
Seriously, they think this garden gnome of a manager is better than me?
Ah! You got me! Haha!
Oh, this is fun, isn't it.
To be honest, I really thought when we hosted this competition
that the other clubs, they had, like, little to no baking experience,
but as it turns out they are taking this very seriously, so...
Guys, you need to focus on the finish.
Aguero, get the decorative Lancashire roses. 9320 of them!
Come on, put more pressure on it, Mo.
These all appear to be top, top quality.
Voyeur. I won't taste them,
because I know they are not as good
as the Chelsea buns I made—three times.
In fourth and last place. You. You. You.
And especially you, Paul.
You should all be disappointed.
Fourth place is nice. Take it from me.
It is the same as a trophy.
Okay, but come on, Harry's ankle has been through so much...
He deserves something for his baking contributions.
Okay. Fine, whatever.
Harry Kane, you are hereby a Member of the
Most Excellent Order of the Baking Empire.
Hey! Harry's been awarded MBE!
Alright, Harry. Yeah!
So, how do we beat Liverpool on the pitch?