I want to watch this movie.
I changed my mind make this one.
Charlie Day versus the Rescuers.
I'm into it.
The Rescuers visit Philadelphia.
Execs night of the director.
Yeah.
I love this.
Nina.
What's the worst movie that they can remake as a live action film?
Thanks for asking Brian.
I have a little trouble settling on one because so many of the things I thought were terrible
ideas have either already happened or are in production.
So, that's unsettling.
And I should also say that I have seen several of the live action remakes and I'm across
the board not a fan.
So that's where I'm coming from as an audience member.
Sure.
Understand.
And I thought a lot about my least favorite, which was the Beauty and the Beast adaptation,
which had a number of problems, including like girl boss Belle and the idea that every
single thing in the castle was alive which-
So girl boss Belle, you mean the pandering way in which they were like, she's in the
science and then it doesn't come into play at all ever.
And also there's a whole subplot where she gets in trouble for teaching a young girl
to read, even though young children literacy was very championed in France at the time
when this film is set.
So it doesn't work.
Got it.
But, I was thinking about some of the more unsettling parts of that film.
And I think anyone who has seen that movie knows how creepy the beast looks for the entire
movie until he turns back into Downton Abbey, Stan Stevens.
Mm-mm.
And in that vein, I was thinking about how horrifying it would be if Lilo and Stitch
were adapted into a live action remake and we had to look at a fully realized CGI Stitch.
Oh no.
I thought they are making that one.
I checked, I could be wrong.
Okay.
You checked I didn't, so you would know better than me.
I don't want to see that.
In the immortal words of Lisa Kudrow in The Comeback.
I don't want to see that.
You don't want to see a cute little CGI Stitch boy?
They don't make anything cute in these live action remakes.
All the lions in The Lion King were horrifying too.
And that's a real animal that exists, not an alien that's adorably creepy, but weird
objectively in cartoon form.
Specifically creepy.
I don't want to see Andy Serkis in a motion capture suit in Lilo and Stitch.
That's not true.
I do not need that kind of energy in my life.
Actually you know what?
Maybe I would only like it if it was Andy Serkis, but it probably won't be.
So I still don't want to see it.
I would love it if it was Andy Serkis, but they never animated over it.
If it was just this middle aged man in a unitard that a child is raising as a pet.
Like the movie Walk Like A Man from the 80s, starting Howie Mandel and Christopher Lloyd?
I would watch that, but you know that's not what would come of this.
It would just be like an uncanny valley nightmare causing instrument of chaos.
Brian, you had a rebuttal.
Yes.
I do Have a rebuttal.
I don't think you're wrong because they would do a CGI situation.
But what if look behind you, to your, I don't know which direction it is because Zoom is
weird, but yeah, that one.
Who do you see behind you?
Baby Yoda?
The love of my life, baby Yoda.
Practical effect.
What if they made a Stitch that's a practical effect.
That's adorable.
That's animatronic.
Sure.
That's got a person's hand in it doing this.
Okay.
Counterpoint, Baby Yoda just sits around and just makes cooing baby noises.
Stitch has a very active presence.
He doesn't do a lot of action scenes.
He doesn't do a lot of movement.
He waddles and he goes like this and he makes cute baby noises and eats cookies.
He eats soup.
Yeah.
He eats soup.
Yeah. You're right.
Just really, really quick point of interest just because I can already hear people smashing
their keyboards to death.
I do think it's important to point out the baby Yoda does have a real name and that it's
Stephen Merchant Yoda.
Kroger's Stephen Merchant Yoda.
He's named for his godfather.
Read the lore.
I remember.
I remember when the name-
Watch the cartoons Tom.
... was revealed before I had a chance to see it, I saw it on Twitter, I was like, "Why
is everyone posting about Goku.
What?
Huh?"
And then I watched it and I was like, "Oh."
I'm not falling for this trick.
His name's baby Yoda.
As he is known in my heart.
I want him to be named Yo Diddly.
Like Yoda.
And then the lady Yoda was Yaddle, from the prequels.
Mm-mm.
The logical progression is Yo Diddly.
Everybody's favorite character from the prequels old Yaddle.
Yaddle.
Yeah.
Super popular.
Mm-mm.
Fun fact: Started as a teenage Yoda puppet.
And then they were like, "No, that's stupid.
Just make it a girl."
So they made it a different character.
Anyway, we got off topic.
She only showed up in one movie though.
Right?
I'm pretty sure only one movie.
I think there might be some comic book stuff about her, but very little as far as I know,
I'm not up on my Yaddle.
Baby Yoda rebuttals aside my pick is Lilo and Stitch.
That's a really good pick because Lilo and Stitch is a great movie that-
And that's the other thing, my second choice was Emperor's New Groove because I wouldn't
want them to ruin it because that movie is good.
Legitimate.
Mm-mm.
And I feel the same way about Lilo and Stitch.
I like that movie and I don't want them to mess it up.
Because that was my pick.
My pick was The Emperor's New Groove.
Which I will briefly discuss now.
Yeah.
That was my pick.
It's one of my favorite Disney movies, because I think it's super duper funny.
It's so funny.
And one of the reasons that it works so well is because it's a cartoon that knows it's
a cartoon.
Right.
It really works with the form.
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's the most Warner Brothers-ie Disney movie.
Mm-mm.
It's got that spirit of the old Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck cartoons.
Very Chuck Jones.
Mm-mm.
Exactly very Chuck Jones.
And it's I want to say it's goofy, but that's bringing a whole different character to this.
Right.
But there's just all this great stuff in there that wouldn't be translated into a live action
remake.
It would be lame.
Yeah.
I would be less interested in seeing that.
I think that would be a huge bummer.
Anyway, that was one of my picks.
And I just wanted to mention it.
I have another one as a backup just in case, but anyway.
No.
And I wasn't going to talk about Emperor's New Groove.
But you did anyway.
You brought it up anyway.
I know.
It's called a segue, right?
I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
But I agree with you completely.
That movie is so much fun.
Right.
And I don't want it to be completely molded into something creepy and weird.
I think the main thing here on both of these picks is that it's the main problem with a
lot of these live action remakes, which is that these stories, these films work really
well because they are animated films.
Mm-mm.
And animation as a medium has a lot of strengths that live action doesn't.
Yeah.
So when you translate it to live action, you lose a lot.
And you introduce all these strange things like uncanny valley objects and beast's mansion,
castle, excuse me, creepy beast face, creepy stitch from Lilo and Stitch that we're hoping
we don't get.
And the expressiveness of characters in Lilo and Stitch and Emperor's New Groove is really
important to both of those movies.
Yeah.
Like the facial reactions.
I watched a couple of clips of The Lion King, because I wanted to keep sleeping at night,
but I didn't sit down for the entire film.
But I saw that the main criticism was that there was no emotion at all on any of their
faces.
Their faces don't move, because lions faces don't move.
Right.
And so imagine how bad Emperor's New Groove would be if they couldn't do any funny facial
reactions.
Yeah.
Photo realistic lama.
Yeah.
With peanut butter on its lips.
There's a reason that the live action that the remake of Mr. Ed didn't go anywhere.
Right.
Except straight to our hearts.
You can find it on YouTube.
It's terrifying.
The remake of Mr. Ed.
It's real bad.
Anyway, Tom.
Wait, I'm sorry.
What era was the remake of Mr. Ed?
I want to say it's late nineties.
Yeah.
There's on air pilot on YouTube that I caught a few minutes of.
That was just really, really bad.
We were a Pachinski family, so I never really had the opportunity.
Tom, what's your pick?
I had a hard time with this one because my gut reaction, just in terms of, and keeping
in mind The Lion King, and I love John Favreau, but nothing about that movie really worked.
Right.
Somehow he managed to be the only filmmaker in history to get a small performance out
of Billy Eichner.
And arguably Beyonce.
Yeah.
And you were talking about with the characterization, and all of the stuff that you get to do with
fantasy animation, I guess.
All of the musical numbers lost all of that sense of wonder that you remember seeing watching
the classics.
Right.
And instead it becomes two hours of animals walking in a straight line and reciting lyrics
to songs that you've heard before.
So my initial reaction was Fantasia.
And then I remembered that they did already The Sorcerer's Apprentice movie during The
of Pirates of the Caribbean era of let's take anything that we own the name to and see if
we can turn it into a PG-13.
Right.
The Haunted Mansion.
Why wouldn't this?
Yeah.
Mm-mm.
So, that was my initial reaction.
What I landed on was The Rescuers.
Mm-mm.
That's a good pick.
Good pick, I loved that movie.
I watched it so much as a kid.
The only version of it that I would want to see is if they made it in the same way that
they made the original Rescuers, which was they had all these terrible production issues
I think the movie got shelved for a decade and then a new team of animators came on and
finished it.
So if you watch the movie, the first half looks entirely different from the second half,
the main characters eyes changed shape.
Right.
And they basically turn into these completely different creatures.
And if we wanted to do it like that, I would be a hundred percent on board.
It was just like this social experiment art film.
Riddled with problems.
That's what you want.
Yeah, but by design.
Would it be like, I was going to say, would Charlie Kaufman be involved?
I don't really see a way that we could keep him out.
So if you did A Rescuers remake starring Charlie Day.
Mm-mm.
I'd be into that.
Okay.
Now I'm going for it, now I want it to happen.
Is he playing one of the mice or is he?
He's all the parts.
Is he using his rat stick on?
Yeah.
He's all over it.
I want to watch this movie.
I changed my mind make this one.
Charlie Day versus the rescuers.
I'm into it.
The rescuers visit Philadelphia.
The only other one that I had, I guess I had two just in the chamber and they're obvious
ones, Hunchback of Notre Dame, how would that work?
Yeah.
How do you make a kid's movie out of The Hunchback of Notre Dame without animating it?
And the answer is you don't.
Well, they made several live action movies in the past of Hunchback of Notre Dame.
And they were all really unsettling.
Right.
If Disney made a remake of their remake.
Yeah.
Because they rewrote the whole story that you have to rewrite the ending so that it's
less horrific.
Yeah.
That would be really terrible.
And then the other one obviously is Pocahontas.
I was hoping you'd say Pocahontas.
Right.
Again, how do you Disney, the only reason why the Disney version that exists even works
at all, if it arguably works at all is because it's animated.
As soon as you remove the layer of unreality and put actual actors doing these things in
there, it just, it falls apart.
Yeah.
Probably a better idea to just leave that one alone.
Does it feel like the Pocahontas cartoon was like a series of hundreds and hundreds of
people too afraid to say this is a bad idea to their boss?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I was reading about the production, that one sprang to mind.
Mm-mm.
And it sounds like the guy who was running Disney animation at the time, had a Thanksgiving
dinner and came up with this idea.
And that was the entire origin story for this movie.
And I just can't imagine the production process on it because it was years, it took years
to make this right.
Right.
I'm just thinking of all of these underlings in dark corners of the Disney animation studio
huddled around each other, going, "This is bad, right?
Like we're not going to work again."
At no point in those many years did anyone just go, "Wasn't Pocahontas a young teenager
who was kidnapped from her home and brought to England?"
And died of a preventable disease because she was taken to a whole different-
A couple of years later.
At no point did anyone just bring that actual solid fact up instead they were like, "She's
going to paint with all the colors of the wind."
Well, we got a raccoon and the raccoon's funny.
Silly business.
They probably went over that stuff in the director video sequel.
Right.
I didn't watch it, but I can only assume that they addressed these serious concerns.
As a girl who watched a lot of Pocahontas, they did not cover any of that in the director
video sequel.
That's a shame.
Yeah.
Oh, well.
That didn't come up somehow.
Weird.
Next time.
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