(audience cheering)
We have so much show tonight,
but I do have to mention something up top.
Awhile ago,
I decided to make a little bit
of a career change.
And some of you may be aware of this.
I decided to take my unique mix of musical ingenuity,
which I obviously have--
(audience cheering)
thanks for going along with that,
show business clout and natural teaching skills,
and combine them all,
and channel them into a very special project,
which we tried out here on the show.
That project was the formation of my own
brand new boy band.
(audience cheering)
Yeah.
A very talented group of young men
who I named Dudez Aplenty.
(audience laughing)
Which was dudes with a Z aplenty.
All right.
And well anyway,
here's a glimpse of what happened back then.
I think this was about a year ago.
Here's what happened.
(soft music)
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I wish you were my baby ♪
♪ I'll make you make a baby ♪
(audience laughing)
(audience cheering)
I worked with these guys,
just a quick glimpse of what we did.
And frankly,
we were poised to conquer the music world.
Because boy bands are huge.
I was gonna make a lot of cash,
then to be perfectly honest,
I forgot about them completely.
(audience laughing)
I'm just a busy guy.
(audience laughing)
I gotta to talk to David Hasselhoff,
and act like an ass,
and I got busy,
and the whole thing slipped my mind for like a year.
Okay?
Then recently I remembered
oh my god,
I formed a boy band,
Dudez Aplenty.
And I decided,
I'm going to get them back together.
Okay?
But this time I'm going to go all the way.
I'm going to shoot a music video,
a big time music video,
with Dudez Aplenty,
and get it on rapid rotation.
So we did that,
and here's a behind the scenes look
of us making the video,
and then the video.
It's all pretty amazing.
All right let's listen up!
How's it going guys?
Chillin',
pretty good.
Good to see you.
How is Dudez Aplenty doing?
(boyband member muttering)
Doing okay?
All right.
Quickly I want to apologize.
I know I promised you guys
we were going to the top of the charts with that last song.
Things didn't work out.
I blame you,
bad performance,
bad execution.
What have you guys been up to?
What have you been working at?
Just Target.
You've been working at a Target store?
Yeah.
What have you been doing?
I've been babysitting.
Okay.
You guys are pathetic.
(audience laughing)
But I'm going to give you a second chance.
Guys,
we're going to make a video.
(guys exclaiming)
Hey enough of that!
No high fiving!
I want you guys to do something different,
rub heads.
No high,
it's actually rubbing.
I want heads rubbing.
That's what you guys do.
Other people knock fists.
Other people slap five.
You guys rub your heads.
All right?
(audience laughing)
Have you been drinking?
You smell like you've been drinking.
No I'm cool.
Okay.
You should start drinking right away.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I want you to be the alcoholic in the group.
(audience laughing)
You're gonna have a real problem.
You're going to be the alcoholic.
Six months from now,
you're going to drop out of the group,
you guys are going to have his back,
you're going to wait for him,
and then he's going to come back into the group.
All right?
He's going to say he's better.
A month later
he's going to be found dead on the floor of a bathroom.
You okay with that?
Just do it,
it's gonna be fun.
(audience laughing)
So I got us a new song.
I got us a really good song.
♪ Girl you must be from another time ♪
♪ One where awesomeness was not confined ♪
♪ Cause awesomeness is awesome baby ♪
♪ But not like you ♪
♪ You so awesome I say ♪
♪ Yay not boo yeah ♪
♪ How'd you get so awesome baby ♪
♪ By drinking lots of awesome juiced ♪
♪ The awesome juice has worked hooray ♪
♪ Awesomeness ooh ♪
(audience laughing)
Great song,
I thought it was good.
Basically it's just the word awesome.
I counted like 23 times.
It was 28.
(audience laughing)
There were 28 awesomes in there.
Yeah I think it's a lot.
Awesome is like the word kids use today.
I actually went to a mall yesterday,
and I hung around for about 2 hours
until I got asked to leave.
(audience laughing)
And I heard the word awesome so many times.
This is what kids say.
They were also swearing a lot,
but we can't do that.
That's not gonna get played.
I heard (bleep) a lot.
(audience laughing)
(bleep) this and (bleep) that.
But I swear to god,
the second word I heard the most,
third word I heard (bleep).
(bleep) (bleep) I heard that one.
But then the third word I heard a lot was awesome.
Kids say awesome all the time.
Trust me,
I know what I'm doing.
You are bad boys all right,
you've been sent to prison.
You've been sent to prison for mail fraud,
you're in here for tax evasion,
you killed a cat,
you ate a tomato that didn't belong to you,
and you're just a creep and they put you in prison.
All right?
That's your motivation.
The only studio that we could afford
already had a few sets in it for some reason.
So basically we were forced
to incorporate those sets into the video.
Here's the idea,
you've been in prison so long,
you don't know what kind of music
they're listening to outside anymore.
You think they're listening to old ragtime.
So it's like,
♪ How'd you get so awesome baby ♪
♪ Hey there little awesome girl ♪
♪ Have some awesome juice oh please ♪
(audience laughing)
Come on.
Let's go dudes.
(audience laughing)
All right,
here's the deal,
you guys are at the bottom
of the deep blue sea in this sequence.
All right?
Danny,
how are you?
Good how are you doing?
Good to see you.
This is our choreographer,
this is Dudez Aplenty.
Hey guys what's up.
All right.
Yeah don't bother getting to know them personally,
they can be replaced at any time.
(audience laughing)
♪ Swim Swim and then a fishy go by ♪
♪ Swim swim and then a fishy go by ♪
Okay that's gonna create the illusion that...
What was that?!
I thought that was cool.
I'm not gay!
Is that what you said?
(audience laughing)
No.
I'm not!
They're wrong.
Hey C.
Yeah seriously.
It says something about me's body,
and people think we're talking about mousse,
isn't that like My Body or Mind Body.
What is me's bodies?
Well it just seemed like halfway through the video shoot,
he totally lost interest in the band.
He was more worried about the bagel table.
Do you have raisin and poppy seed?
Is that possible?
Because you have poppy seed
and you have raisin,
but I don't know if you have raisin and poppy seed.
We got whatever's here.
What do you mean you got whatever...
Come on.
That's taking pride in your job?
What's that?
Some of the guys have a question.
I'm having a bagel okay?
Why don't you flap back to the little deep blue sea
and I'll be there in a second.
Okay?
A cinnamon and poppy seed bagel.
How hard is it?
You're really easy to work with.
Can I say that?
Thank you very much.
No but this guy,
anytime I ask for something,
he gives it to me!
Every time I ask you for something,
I come up against a brick wall.
Don't talk back to me!
See this is just crazy!
(audience laughing)
You're talking to C.
When you're talking to C,
you shut it.
(audience laughing)
Okay,
well the good news is
we've got our space backdrop,
and we've got a spaceman and alien.
Little bit of a glitch,
these are the only space costumes that we've got.
But I think we can make do with these other costumes.
(audience laughing)
These are great.
These are Superman,
a doctor and Richard Nixon.
You're going like
♪ Ha ha ♪
I want you to be going like
♪ Hey hey ♪
And I want you to be going like
♪ Hoo hoo ♪
And I want you to be going like
♪ A shame a shame a shame a ♪
And I want you to be going like
♪ Nya say bah hoo hoo ♪
(group singing and muttering)
Hey I said
♪ A shame a shame a shame a ♪
♪ A shame a shame a shame ♪
(both nonsense singing)
♪ Shame a shame a shame ♪
What you got there?
I forgot.
(audience laughing)
This will be the space egg.
So space alien,
you are guarding the space egg with your life.
Okay.
We got this giant toothbrush.
Okay.
So you're now a space Dentist.
All right?
(audience laughing)
It's a space donkey.
Is a symbol of what party?
Democrats.
Richard Nixon was a Republican,
so you be mad at the space donkey.
(audience laughing)
Lace,
I want you to partner up right here if you would.
Would you come this way?
Right over here?
Right this way young lady.
That's very nice.
And you will be with Superman right here.
Nice.
How many dudes are there?
How many Dudez Aplenty?
What is it?
Five.
There are five.
Okay my bad.
I thought it was four.
(audience laughing)
Okay guys.
Yeah enjoy it.
Ladies,
just all of you guys yeah.
(audience laughing)
And keep sucking.
Okay keep it going.
(audience laughing)
I really have no control
over what bagels get put out on the table.
It's my job to kind of just to watch the table.
I'm pretty tight with Lance Bass from N'sync,
and I'm going to convince him to join Dudez Aplenty.
It's going to be big news.
It's going to be huge.
Lance Bass is going to join Dudez Aplenty.
Now,
we don't have him just yet.
(audience laughing)
So,
let's shoot this part in front of a green screen.
Okay?
And then I'm going to shoot Lance later on,
and we're going to add him
to this scene where he walks in.
And all of a sudden,
look who just walked in!
Lance Bass just walked in!
(All Group Members Exclaiming)
What up Lance Bass!
Man!
Here's my pitch to you,
N'Sync,
get out while the getting's good
and join Dudez Aplenty.
What do you think?
Opportunities don't come often like this.
It's a huge opportunity,
but I don't know.
I think yours is good.
Those guys are holding you back man.
You're Lance Bass,
you're Dudez Aplenty material.
Let me tell you something,
there's a rocket called Dudez Aplenty,
and it's going to success planet,
there's one more seat on the rocket.
I'm holding that seat for Lance Bass.
But I am going to have a decline.
Lance Bass said no.
He does not want to be in the group.
He does not want to be in the video.
I have no idea how I'm going to break this to the guys.
And now,
a world premiere video
from Dudez Aplenty.
(audience laughing)
(slow country music)
♪ This is gonna be awesome ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ One time ♪
♪ I should not have eaten that tomato ♪
♪ Girl you must be from another time ♪
♪ One where awesomeness was not confined ♪
♪ Two awesome things like sky and day ♪
♪ Even awesomeness itself does not compare ♪
♪ Cause awesomeness is awesome baby ♪
♪ Not like you ♪
♪ You're so awesome ♪
♪ I say yay not boo ♪
♪ How'd you get so awesome baby ♪
♪ Drinking lots of awesome juice ♪
♪ The awesome juice has worked hooray ♪
♪ This body wants to be with you ♪
♪ Hey there little awesome girl ♪
♪ Have some awesome juice oh please ♪
♪ I'm drinking in my underwear ♪
♪ Nobody wants to be with me ♪
♪ Just you yeah ♪
♪ Shame a shame a shaw ♪
(group member exclaiming)
(audience laughing)
But I am going to have to decline.
♪ Girl you must be from another time ♪
♪ I say one where awesomeness is unconfined ♪
♪ Two awesome things like sky and day ♪
♪ Even awesomeness itself does not compare ♪
♪ Cause awesomeness is awesome baby ♪
♪ Not like you ♪
♪ Totally awesome ♪
(audience cheering)
I think they're on their way.
(audience cheering)
Unless I forget again,
which might happen.
All right we'll take a little break.
When we come back,
Matthew Broderick's here!
Stick around everybody!