If you are single and dating, you’ve probably had the experience of a man coming on very
strong in the beginning, but then pulling away and losing interest just when you thought
everything was going great.
It actually happens a lot.
Things start off wonderfully...
He’s always texting you, communicating, making plans, and showing you how excited
he is about you.
It’s Almost too good to be true.
But then, suddenly something changes and he becomes distant.. he’s pulling away and
isn’t as interested as before.
And you aren’t sure what happened or what to do about it.
If that resonates with you, then stay right here because I’m going to explain the top
5 reasons why men pull away, and I’ll tell you exactly what to do to turn things around.
Don’t go anywhere because we are starting right now
If you’ve had the experience of a man losing interest and pulling away when everything
seems to be going great, you know how unsettling it can be.
I mean just last week this guy was really into you..
He made you feel like the most important woman in the world…
He told you how much he liked spending time with you… he was doing all the right things.
And slowly but surely, you let your guard down and really started to connect with him.
It felt like things were perfect.
maybe almost too good to be true.
And then out of nowhere, you feel like Something changes….
Maybe he’s not so chatty.. maybe hes not texting or calling as much or he’s not as
affectionate . And, he doesn’t seem excited to see you or he doesn’t make plans with
you this weekend.
Whatever it is, you can sense it, and it makes you anxious and worried that you’ve done
something wrong or that his feelings have changed and you’re going to lose him
And that’s when you start questioning everything… replaying your interactions over an over…
trying to figure out what happened.
was it something I said?
Did he learn something about me that he doesn’t like?
Did he meet someone else?
You become consumed with second guessing yourself and thinking about how to fix things.
Well, here are the top reasons why this happens and the steps to follow to turn things around
and get him back to how he was before.
1.
It’s a triggered emotional response that has nothing to do with you.
When a man has a sudden change of heart without an obvious reason, it is often caused by a
triggered emotional response.
In other words, Some behavior, interaction or new information triggered a negative emotion
in him and caused him to experience anxiety.
This uneasiness gets associated with you or it get’s associated with the relationship,
and poof, he’s gone.
And this isn’t something you could ever control.
Unless you were offensive, did something really weird or appeared way too needy, the trigger
is related to something in your partner’s past and has nothing to do with you.
And A trigger could be almost anything: behaviors, gestures, expressions, differences of opinion,
or even the way you laugh.
And often they are ridiculous...
I know... it’s happened to me many times.
Sometimes a trigger is an alert to important difference between two people.
But mostly a trigger is simply an irrational emotional response to something your partner
isn’t even aware of.
So, he doesn’t even know why he has suddenly lost interest.
he doesn’t understand why his own feelings have changed.
He just knows he doesn’t feel the same.
if you can’t figure out what happened.. if there wasn’t any disagreement.. or argument,
and he just suddenly changes, the change was likely caused by an irrational emotional response
that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.
But, there are a few qualities about him to look out for because these characteristics
make this scenario more likely.. and that starts with number 2.
#2 – He’s addicted to the high of the challenge.. or he’s addicted to the chase.
One way of determining if he is addicted to the chase involves examining how strongly
he pursued you in the beginning, as well as how much interest you showed initially.
You see, men who are addicted to the chase often begin dating very differently.
These men are turned on and crave a challenge and are unshaken by rejection.
So, ask yourself ….
were you not particularly interested initially, Did he keep pursuing and pursuing, and refuse
to give up despite your rejections of him?
guys who are addicted to the chase can’t accept no for an answer.. it’s a challenge
and they feel they must win.
And, once they win… once they know they have you, the challenge is over.. the chase
is over and they feel numb.
And unfortunately too often, they lack the insight to understand and change this behavior.
Instead, they move on thinking that something is missing in the relationship.
Btw, I’m psychologist and relationship coach dr Antonio Borrello.
This channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy
together.
So, hit subscribe, join our community and make your love life the best part of your
life.
OK.. on to number 3
3.
He is in love with somebody else.
This is also common when an ‘on-again, off-again ex’ shows up asking for another chance.
In fact, that’s happened to me once….
I met this woman online.. we started texting and talking.
we went on 4 dates during a period of 2 1/2 weeks.
and things were going great.
.. and then one evening a few days after our 4th date, we were texting back and forth and
then she suddenly disappeared.
she stopped responding to my texts and calls..
No communication.. no explanation.. nothing.
Just radio silence...
And of course, I was left feeling confused and worried that I somehow offended her.
But, what really happened?
Well, Apparently that evening while we were texting, her ex boyfriend just showed up at
her door and wanted a second chance.. and of course, she then deleted all of our communications..
guess how I found out?
Well, she started texting me again when they broke up again..
then I finally had clarity and understood why she didn’t want to date me at the time,
but certainly, she could have let me know rather than ghost me.
but at least I knew for certain that it wasn’t something I did.
So, if you’re dating a person who was recently in another relationship, be careful.. they
could be totally into you one day… and then totally disappear the next.
And If he is in love with another woman, that does not mean you are inadequate, ugly, uncaring,
or unsexy.
It means he is caught up and not fully over his ex.
Don’t take it personally, or compare yourself to his ex.
They have a history and it is something he will have to deal with on his own.
Ok.. so you have little control over the first three scenarios.
… in other words, it’s not your fault.
But, if the next two reasons sound familiar, I’ll tell you exactly how you can immediately
fix the issue and turn things around
4.
You’re Attracted to Unavailable Men Are you someone who is always attracted to
men who are unavailable or otherwise bad for you.
Do you keep picking the bad boys.
You know the scenario..
The nice Guy is handsome, sweet, intelligent and available.
and he is interested in a relationship with you.
But of course, you’re just not that into him.
On the other hand, you can’t stop thinking and obsessing over the emotionally unavailable
guy.
If you have a history of picking these unavailable men, perhaps you’re more likely to subconsciously
seek out similar scenarios, hoping that the story will have a different ending next time.
Only it does not.
That’s when it might be time to re-evaluate how and where you’re meeting these bad boys
and make some adjustments.
Give the nice guy a second date and see what happens.
And finally… the biggest and most common reason why men pull away is #5
5.
You’re Working Much Harder than He is.
When we are really attracted to someone and we really want things to work out, we have
a tendency to go out of our way to be super nice, attentive, and available….
And sometimes, we do all of the work to make the relationship happen,…
This includes things like always driving to his house to see him, arranging your schedule
to make time for him….
And even cancelling plans with friends to see him.
now, This may be an exaggeration, but if a guy thinks you’ll drop everything for an
opportunity to see him, the message it sends is that he’s the most important thing going
on in your world.. and that has three bad consequences….
1, it lowers your value and attractiveness…. when you show a new man you’re dating too
much interest, too much excitement, you’re perceived value (relative to his) goes down.
number 2 when you are doing all of those things, He doesn’t have to try so hard.
He doesn’t have to invest into the relationship.
Remember, People care more when they put more effort and invest into their relationships
in terms of time, energy, effort, and commitment.
And #3 when you are trying so hard, he get’s over confident and no longer fears losing
you.
So.. if you recognize that you have been trying harder and working harder than him, and he’s
not investing, what can you do to fix this?
Well, first, I want you to also lean back.
Instead of trying harder to pull him closer, lean back and and distance yourself
Prioritize You and Become someone YOU would miss.
BE yourself and make yourself a priority.
start with taking the attention off of him, and put it back onto yourself.
Take care of you first…
Start doing things for you that are separate from him.
Spend time with YOUR friends and family.
Remember, He’s got to know how full and complete your life is.
And secondly, make him invest in the relationship..
When he does, he will be increasing his feelings of love and appreciation for you.
And I’m not talking about money..
I’m talking about allowing him to help you with things.. small favors, helping you complete
a project at home,.
Help with studying.. things that take time and effort.
Instead of suggesting you meet him at his place, let him drive your way and pick you
up.. these things add up.
The more he invests, the more he will like you as a result…
I know it seems counterintuitive, but trust me… people appreciate and value the things
they work hard for.
Look, anyone who is dating in todays world will have these experiences and it won’t
feel good.
What’s important is that you quickly recognize when your feelings are no longer being reciprocated
—and once you’re aware, you adjust your behaviors and feelings accordingly.
Don’t waste your time worrying about a man who isn’t showing as much interest as you
are.
And don’t blame yourself or spend endless hours worrying about what went wrong.
It happens to everyone, it happens frequently and it’s not a reflection of you.
Period!
Move forward and meet someone as eager about a relationship as you are.
You deserve a person who’s just as excited about you and knows how to show it.
Don’t settle for anything less.
Remember, this channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow
happy together..
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thanks for watching..
I’ll see you in the next video.