We spend a lot of time in relationships pointing out what's wrong with the other
person and insisting on our blamelessness. We imagine that's a good strategy
for getting what we want and for being happy in a couple, but that's nonsense.
Next time you feel strong enough that you can, for a moment,
stop insisting you're always right, try a different tack. Out of the blue
say: "sorry I'm so anxious"
"sorry I lose my temper", "sorry I don't listen enough",
"sorry I'm too preoccupied", "sorry I both want you close and push you away",
"sorry I'm not always balanced, sane or mature". You think that might weaken you, make you
hostage to the partner's vengeance.
It never does. Everything always gets better from that point.
Give it a try. Sorry I'm so crazy.