>> ANOTHER SIGN, PERHAPS, OF THINGS GETTING CLOSER TO NORMAL:
SPORTS, GOING TO GAMES.
BUT TOP INFECTIOUS DISEASE DOCTOR ANTHONY FAUCI SAYS THAT
SPORTS MAY HAVE TO SKIP THIS YEAR ALL TOGETHER UNLESS-- AND
THIS IS KEY-- THERE'S A GUARANTEED WAY TO KEEP THE FANS
AND PLAYERS SAFE.
>> HEY, SPORTS FANS, IS DR. FAUCI HARSHING YOUR BUZZ
ABOUT SPORTS?
WELL, DON'T WORRY, YOU CAN STILL TAKE IN THE THRILLS OF
PROFESSIONAL ATHLETICS WITH THESE FUN STAY-AT-HOME GAMES,
LIKE PAPER FOOTBALL, PAPER BASEBALL, PAPER SOFTBALL.
AND JUST LIKE REAL SPORTS, PAPER SPORTS BRINGS YOU ALL THE DRAMA
OF THE GAME, LIKE PAPER JUICING, PAPER LOCKER ROOM BONDING, PAPER
SCANDAL, AND PAPER RETIREMENT.
>> THESE HAVE BEEN SOME OF THE GREATEST DAYS OF MY LIFE.
NOW I GO ON TO BIGGER THINGS: PARTIAL OWNERSHIP OF THE LOCAL
PONTAC DEALER.
STOP BY A-4 AUTO FOR GREAT DEALS ON NEW AND USED PONTACS.
>> PAPER SPORTS: STILL MORE EXCITING THAN BASEBALL.
>> IT'S "A LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT."