♪♪
[crowd noise]
[indistinct PA announcements]
I just got hired as a pilot, I start next week.
I really don't care.
Okay.
[beeping]
Ma'am, I'm going to need you to come over here.
You know you can't take this on the flight, right?
Oh, I'm so sorry, it won't happen again.
Okay.
Now, I'm just going to have to do a routine check
on the rest of the bag, all right?
Oh, yeah.
Those are nail clippers.
I am so sorry, okay.
Uh, that's a family heirloom, so...
An heirloom!
Wow!
Oh my goodness, that is beautiful!
Is this mahogany?
[hesitantly]: Yeah.
Wow.
Very nice.
Have you ever played bocce ball?
It's pretty fun.
That's what that is.
[laughing]
No kidding!
Very cool.
Uh, well, I got to get going.
Wait, maybe if you're free sometime, we could hang out?
Yeah, maybe.
Cool.
Oh, we're going to have to check that, though.
You used to be cool, man.
[body bag thuds]
[beeping]
Sir, can you come over here, please?
Yeah.
[unzipping]
[mints rattling]
Those are just mints.
It says curiously strong.
That's dangerous.
There's nothing wrong with that.
The barrel on this is too big.
I was just planning on shooting some--
Shooting?!
Confiscated.
What?
No, I was just...
Hi-res?
Not bad, I'll get some nice shots with that.
Sir?
These are flammable.
What size are they?
34.
These are fine.
That, however, will have to go.
You can't just take my child!
You're going to be late for your flight, sir.
Announcer:Last call for flight 100 to Seattle.
I'm so sorry.
[baby cooing]
Announcer:Now boarding passengers in zone one.
You want some?
[beeping]
Sir, I'm going to need you to come over here.
What's the problem?
There's something we picked up on the full-body scanner.
Well, it's wrong.
I don't have anything on me.
It's not that.
[dramatic music begins]
The scanner picked up something
around your esophagus that needs to be operated on immediately.
The scanner couldn't possibly pick that up.
The scanner is never wrong, sir.
Now listen to me very carefully,
we have a protocol for this kind of situation.
I got to go to the hospital, then!
There's no time for that!
Now we have 911 on the line
and we're prepared to do the operation on the conveyor belt.
I confiscated this.
[drill whirring]
We can't do the surgery here, I'll die!
Not on my watch.
If there's any team that can do this for you, it's the TSA.
You really think so?
[laughing]
No, no.
I actually stopped you because you're a minority.
What?
Well, you know the drill.
[high five]
Hey guys.
It's your friendly, neighborhood Dalton here.
Thanks for watching the video!
If you like that, please like,
comment on the video, share, subscribe,
floss every day, brush your teeth twice daily, after meals.
Spay and neuter your pets, that is if you have a pet,
don't just go around doing that.
Okay, bye!