- Oh, yes.
It's like that moment in The Wizard of Oz when
everything turns to color, I felt like my life
had been in black and white and I didn't know it.
Until they put him in my arms and then it was like kaboom.
(synthesizer music)
- Huh.
- Ho.
- Oh, gosh.
- Do we have tissues? (laughs)
- How beautiful he was.
How my whole world changed the moment I saw him.
- I felt like I was right where I wanted to be.
- I couldn't believe it's real like.
- That's a piece of me forever.
- He had a little mohawk.
- Smelled like maple syrup.
- And he was just so.
- Beautiful.
- (laughs) She looked like a wrinkly ball sack, (laughs)
but it was the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Like a gray ball sack (laughs).
- I thought that I knew what love was
and then I saw this human being.
This thing that came out of me.
Well, I guess a new definition of love.
- When I was looking at her I thought her eyes
looked so beautiful.
- I just remember being like
- Oh my god.
- That was when it hit me, my life isn't going
to be the same any more.
- Like a sucker punch.
- Phew.
- When I first gave birth to her you mean?
- Oh
- My goodness.
- Really? (laughs and cries)
I was 16 years old when I have her and I took that
decision to just be responsible for that little
human being so I was very, very,
very happy when I saw her for the first time.
- So I actually had her in a pool.
- I was in a hospital.
- At home.
- In a car and we're seeing the hospital in the hills like,
"Oh, there it is."
And then my water broke in the front seat.
And I put my hand under my pants
and I felt a baby coming out of my body.
- It was like this really intense labor
that we sort of went through together
because you get in this zone where you really focused.
Just sort of felt like the whole labor was like me and him.
- No epidural.
- Two sections.
- Like almost two days in labor, so.
- You waiting patiently.
- Pushing, pushing.
- At one point, I was like, "Okay, I may need a break."
- One second, you know like everything is going good
and then it's like okay, you know,
things could be go wrong really soon.
- Where's my baby?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
I had a mirror, like watching everything.
It helped me like push him out.
- You look at the mirror and you see this like freakish
- Cone head with a cap at the top.
- No, I did not want to do the mirror thing.
No.
- At first it was like kinda nasty
'cause all this stuff was coming out and I was like, "Uhh."
- He came out.
- He looked like he had cottage cheese on him.
- Sticky.
- Gooey. - Slimy.
- Full of like white stuff.
- Covered with nasty shit.
- (laughs) That's my kid.
No, no. Not at all.
I mean obviously I thought she's the cutest thing
I've ever seen.
- I was standing in my living room, hunched over like this
and I pulled him out.
No joke.
- And they sat her on my chest.
- Oh, my gosh.
- There he is!
This the person I've been talking to
for eight and a half months.
- I did that.
- Wow.
- I remember asking, "Is this my baby? Is this my... "
I mean, it came out of my vagina.
I saw it happened, but I was just like, "Is this my baby?"
- The doctor was like, "He looks just like you."
And I was like, "Oh, thank God."
Because she was cheating so like, I was real nervous.
- I start crying.
- I cried my eyes out.
- The tears just came right away.
- Ugly face, just like
- Thinking how absolutely perfect to us.
- I was like, "Wait a minute,
I thought my baby was going to be chocolate."
But apparently, not. (laughs)
- She was blue, too dabbed to a whole bunch of like needles
and wires and I couldn't even see her face.
- We had a hard time getting her breathing, to begin with.
Breathe baby, breathe.
- She was black.
The pediatrician on staff asked if he could resuscitate her.
We watched as her body started to turn pink
from her heart and just radiated out.
It was the most amazing thing and she's alive today.
- The nurse looked at me and said, "Are you the dad?"
And I said, "Yeah." And she said,
"Would you like to hold your kid?"
And I said, "Hell, yeah! I wanna hold my kid."
(laughs) I just looked at him and ever since that day
and I was like, "We have your back."
- Sat back and then he let out a little cough.
Cute little (imitates cough)
- And I didn't wanna like break her.
- I just noticed
- She had just these big blue eyes.
- Similar to mine.
- She have like red splotches on her face.
- Chubby.
- Full head of hair.
- So much hair. Oh, my gosh. So much hair.
- He was so little, you know.
The preemies are undercooked,
so he looked like a little chicken.
- She looked like a little yellow rat.
- She looked like a little porcelain doll.
- I remember looking at him.
- Eyes were gray-blue.
- He looked like my father.
- Basically had a natural connection.
- Eye contact.
What's really a trip is that they come out
like making eye contact.
- He looked kinda mad, like it was so nice in there,
why am I here, what happened.
- And I couldn't get him to stop crying
and I walked over and I put my hand on his chest
and I said, "It's okay, Daddy's here."
And he stopped instantly.
- I asked the midwife, "Boy or girl?"
She said, "Check."
Oh, it's a girl!
- I got a boy!
- Dad was like, "There are balls!"
and he's jumping up and down.
Balls! Balls!
- Definitely counted her fingers and I counted her toes.
- But like, when you see tiny hands, it looks like 12.
So you gotta sit there and count each one
and then you're just like, still looks like too many of it.
- I was too nervous to hold her.
- I was even the first person to hold her.
I believed my Mom held her before me,
so that kinda irritated me a little bit.
- And so we put him in this like beautiful white,
organic onesie thing and he shits on it.
- It was so funny.
- I couldn't be more proud.
- Speechless.
- You just feel like you wanna protect this little life
with everything you have.
- You feel like you know this person forever,
but you just saw them, so like,
"Oh, I love you so much and I just met you."
- Actually I was scared when I first saw her.
- Scared.
- I couldn't think of anything other
than what's gonna happen next.
- Impossible to explain almost.
I felt love and panic.
Just knowing that I was doing it by myself.
- Can I do this?
Is she gonna be okay?
Can I provide everything?
Am I gonna be enough?
- Because it's a lot and I don't have a family around,
and their dad's not involved.
I don't know, I have mixed emotions about it.
- I had her when I was 16.
I didn't know my emotions back then,
so it was very like scary.
- Total fear like, "Oh, my god.
I have to take care of this, right?"
- Who in the right mind to give me another human being
to be responsible for?
Like I can't even handle a plant. (laughs)
- You know that's a kind of love
that you'll never experience again.
- Yeah, it was very mixed.
Not that I wasn't prepared to be a father
but I just couldn't believed it was a part of my story now.
It had to sink in.
It still hasn't. (laughs)
- My kid keeps running away from me.
- It's cool.
- How many moms can say,
"Oh, yeah. I lost my kid in a junkyard."?
- More than you think, honey.
- You're a great mom.