Hi there, this is Clay with modernlove.life, and this is Relationship Inner Game.
Now in the past several videos, we've gone through four of the five stages to get over
a breakup and in this video we're gonna talk about the fifth and final stage.
But before we do that, I just want to acknowledge you for having gone through these videos up
to this point.
Okay.
We've gone and we've talked about the meltdown stage.
That initial stage that you find yourself in after a breakup or it seems like your whole
world is falling apart.
We've talked about the over investment stage.
We're overinvested in your ex's opinion of you or what it means when your ex is doing
this or when your ex is not doing that.
We've talked about the rollercoaster stage where your emotions are kind of just all over
the place based off of anything and everything that's happening outside of you.
And in the last video we talked about the validation trap, which is where unfortunately
many people end up getting completely stuck for oftentimes their entire life.
And we've talked about how filling yourself up with self love can take you here to the
last and final stage of getting over a breakup.
And this stage is called emotional freedom.
Okay?
Now when you're are at emotional freedom, you're actually completely detached from a
lot of these emotions that may have pulled the strings, so to speak beforehand, you know
you're, you're definitely not in that meltdown stage or definitely not in that overinvestment
stage and you're starting to develop your own sense of values and you're starting to
really fill yourself up with self-love.
And once this happens, other people's opinions, other people's circumstances, other people's
response to you isn't going to necessarily send your emotions, you know, up or down or
sideways or anything like that, and other people's response to you isn't either going
to increase your validation or decrease your validation.
Instead, what is gonna happen is you're going to be completely free and completely open
to have the kind of real, meaningful, satisfying relationship that you really want.
And it's important to also know that this can happen within the context of being in
a relationship with somebody.
Right?
So maybe you broke up with somebody and then somewhere along these five stages you got
into a relationship with somebody else or maybe you even got back together with your
ex and it's still possible to continue to work on filling yourself up with self, love
on building your own values, on doing all these other things we talked about.
And then eventually find yourself at emotional freedom.
And when this happens, you're actually able to have a much stronger relationship because
of it.
Because there isn't this hidden agenda going on, driving your motives, a driving your actions.
You know, can I get validation from this person who's a person can invalidate me all this
stuff, right?
That's not happening because you're filling yourself up with self love.
Okay?
So when you're at this stage, you're actually able to be completely 100 percent present
with the other person.
You're able to be completely connected to that other person on an emotional level because
you're able to actually put yourself in that person's shoes, see the world from their eyes
and actually have the curiosity and empathy to be able to really wonder what their experience
is like and that alone can actually go an incredible long distance in terms of creating
an emotional connection with somebody and actually helping them to feel close to you
and wanting to commit to you.
Okay.
And so when you're at this stage, you're going to be able to have relationships that are
immeasurably better than maybe the kinds that you've had.
If you or any of the other previous stages, and you know, don't get me wrong, there will
come times when you know, you might think about your ex.
There might come times when you might think, oh, well, this person that I'm with is, is
kind of better than my extra with this relationship that I had is better than the one that my
ex had or, or, or anything like that.
That's totally normal.
But what's different is that these kinds of thoughts aren't the main thoughts that you're
having.
These aren't the main thoughts you're having about your relationship there.
There's sort of like clouds that drift through the sky, right?
You're not emotionally attached to it being better than it was with your ex or your ex
feeling jealous because you're in this relationship or this connection is so much stronger than
it was my ex, or you know, I got to sleep with 10 women.
That means that I'm past dating my ex or something like that.
Or I finally got someone to marry me.
My ex was a loser.
He would have never proposed to me or all of these sorts of things.
These are not the main drivers behind your relationship and when you're able to do this,
you'll be completely free.
From emotional unavailability in your relationships, you will be free from emotionally unavailable
men or women.
You'll also be completely free from rebound relationships and all kinds of other dynamics
that are less likely to result in a strong, healthy relationship in the long run.
And that's why it's really important for you to go through these five stages and to really
strive towards reaching that emotional freedom stage.
Okay?
So if you want some help reaching this emotional freedom stage, whether you're in the meltdown
stage, whether you're over investment stage, whether you're in the rollercoaster stage,
whether you're in the validation trap stage, I don't imagine you'd be watching this if
you were in the emotional freedom stage, but if you're in any of those other stages and
you want some help getting to emotional freedom, here's what I'd like you to do.
If you're on our website, modernlove.life, just head down below this video, there's
going to be a link below this video and if you click on that link, it'll take you over
to another page where you learn more about how you can get to emotional freedom yourself.
Whether you just went through a breakup yesterday or whether this is something you've been working
through for a while now, you'll learn more about how you can start to do that.
Okay?
Again, that's down below this video.
If you're watching this video on youtube, on the other hand, go down below this video
and look in the description box in the description box.
There's going to be a link to our website - relationshipinnergame.com.
If you click on that link and go over to relationshipinnergame.com, you can fill out just as quick,
painless, easy, like 30-second survey, just telling me a little bit more about what's going on
with you, what you want to happen with your dating or love life and some basic stuff like
that.
And once I know what you want, I can actually start to give you tips, advice, and strategies
to help you start moving in the direction of getting that.
Okay, so again, whether you're on modernlove.life or relationshipinnergame.com,
the place to go is down below.
I hope you liked this video.
If you did, it would be greatly appreciated
If you'd give us a thumbs up, if you'd go ahead and subscribe to our channel, or if
you would please go ahead and leave a comment down below letting me know what sorts of videos
you'd like to see me make in the future.
That'd be greatly appreciated.
And we once again, this has been clay with modernlove.life and I hope this video has
helped you improve your Relationship Inner Game.