From prejudice cults to insane incest, we look at 8 of the most unusual families.
8.
Bloody Benders • After the civil war, the Bender family
opened up a general store and inn had all the trappings your typical family business.
Except it was run by cold-blooded murderers.
• There was Mama Bender, Papa Bender, John junior and daughter Kate.
They lured guests to the humble inn, sit them in the “seat of honour” above a trap door.
Then they would bestow the guest with the honour of bashing their brains in and slitting
their throats.
Some of the killings were robberies, others were just for shits and giggles.
But after a town meeting to discuss a bout of disappearances, the Bender family high
tailed it the fuck outta Kansas.
• They didn’t get time to clean up beforehand so the townsfolk found literal bloodbath left
behind and about ten bodies in shallow graves.
The Benders were never found.
Official hide and seek champs of the 1800s!
7.
Soviet Serial Killers • It all started when a kindergarten teacher
decided to go where the real money was: robbery and murder.
The ol’ stab and grab.
• Inessa wasn’t alone though, she recruited her family.
The husband, wife, her adult daughter and a fucking 13 year old, all helping out in
the grim family trade.
The family murdered 30 people over a period of 6 years, their collage of dead including
cops and children.
• But all good things must come to an end and the unlikely mob got into a shoot-out
with police.
Both parents were shot, the husband fatally, so they surrendered.
The wifely Inessa told police she was a “gangster by nature”.
Not unlike Coolio, except in her gangster’s paradise, it’s eye gouging and a bullet
in the face.
There’s no drive by shootings in this soviet hood.
6.
Phelps Family • Deemed America’s most hated family,
the Phelps’ family make up a large proportion of the infamous Westboro Baptist church.
• Until his death in 2014, patriarch Fred Phelps was the leader of the church.
Picketing funerals is their game.
They hate the gays, the Jews, the Catholics, the military, the White house.
It’d probably be shorted to list who they don’t hate; the Old Testament-style God
and…that’s kind of it actually.
• Their kids are dragged along to their protests and the Westboro propaganda is instilled
from a really early age.
When asked why they hate fags, or what the word even means, they get the same confused
look you’d get if you asked a normal kid about their favourite vegetable.
Try telling these poor kids that God actually hates figs, not fags, but they won’t listen.
Ya just can’t reason with unreasonable people.
5.
Gray Family • The Gray family stayed holed up in their
compound in the longest standoff in American history.
• It lasted just shy of 15 years and all started when cops found plans to blow up a
bridge in John Joe’s car along with some high powered rifles.
It’s an anarchist picnic in the making.
He was charged with two felonies and decided to go for the “Texan-come-N-git-me approach.”
His entire family were holed up in the family ranch for 15 years, with the youngest grandchild
even being born there.
• They’re God fearin’, gun totin’ folk and they ain’t havin’ none of your
huey.
When the charges against him were eventually dropped, the sheriff said it was because John
Joe wasn’t worth arresting.
Ouch.
That’s gotta hurt that achy breaky heart.
4.
Bunker Brothers • The Bunker brothers, migrated from Siam
and were the original Siamese twins!
• After a decade of circus work, the brothers bought a farm and married a pair of sisters.
For a while, the weird clan lived as one happy family, even sharing one giant bed, as gross
as that sounds.
After a while though the sisters had a major spat and demanded to live in separate houses.
• The sisters scored joint custody of their husbands where they spent 3 days at one house
and 3 days at the other.
Talk about an awkward sex life.
They used to be able to pretend to be having an orgy.
Then it was just a couple fooling around with some other guy in the room trying to get some
fucking sleep!
“Damnit, you guys, get your finger away from my asshole.”
The brothers ended up having 21 children between them!
So they must’ve been doing something right.
3.
The Hookers • This S&M couple came to an arrangement
that was 50 shades of fucked up.
In 1977, Cameron and Janice Hooker kidnapped a young woman to keep as their slave.
• Colleen Stan was held captive by these nut-jobs for 7 years, where she spent 23 hours
a day in a coffin-type box under the couple’s bed.
Cameron would use her for his whipping fetishes because his wife decided she wasn’t so into
it.
Coulda mentioned that pre-marriage.
• After a while Colleen gained their trust and she became their children’s nanny.
Talk about new age: Mother, father, babies and sex-slave.
Actually, that’s pretty old school…
slavery’s been around for a while…awkward.
ANYWAY!
After years of brainwashing about a malevolent organization called ‘The Company’, they
had Colleen pretty scared shitless.
But the wife had a change of heart about the whole deal and went to the cops.
She got a plea deal in return for testifying against her husband.
Because nothing says “I faked all my orgasms” like testifying against that asshole in court.
2.
Fritzl Family Fun • This sick Fritzl fuck, you might’ve
heard of; in 2012 it emerged that Fritzl had kept his own daughter imprisoned in a basement
for 24 years.
• He also managed to rape her and fathered 7 children with her!
Apparently the wife had no knowledge of her husband’s basement family and assumed her
daughter had run off to be in a cult.
But I doubt she thought the sounds coming from her basement for 24 years were just the
fuckin wind.
• Fritzl claimed that he found 3 of the children in their backyard, as if the stork
decided to drop off some orphans.
“Oh darling, we should keep them and don’t worry that the rugrats look just like me.
All Austrians look alike.”
It was only when one of his incest- children had to go to hospital that the sordid tale
came to light.
1.
Colt Clan Incest • The Colt family make the Fritzl’s look
like the fucking Brady bunch.
• Discovered in 2013, even the most seasoned cops were disgusted by the brand of grotesque
this clan were sporting.
The rural compound housed 40 family members; grandparents, parents and children, all engaging
in some kind of incest, ALL OF THEM.
The grandparents were brother and sister, whose children were all in relationships with
one another and their own parents.
There were 12 children a few were told not to tell outsiders that their grandfather was
also their father.
The hillbilly incest farm was only discovered when a teacher overheard a girl saying her
sister was pregnant and they didn’t know which of her brothers the father was.
• The *blurghhh* close-knit family lived in a shanty compound of tents and sheds without
any running water.
Not that any type of water would wash that filth away.
Incest: a game the whole family can play!