In this video, we're going to be discussing a few signs that your ex is afraid of intimacy. But
first, my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
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about navigating through your ex's emotional world in this video. If that is something that
you do want to learn more about, we do have our course called the EX Solution Program.
You can find it right down below this video. Check it out if it's right for you,
you're more than welcome to sign up. If it's not right for you, that's totally okay too.
Let's go ahead and get into this. So your ex, they have their own stuff. Don't they?
They have their own issues that they're going through and they just quite don't
see things the same way that you do, but do they actually have a fear of intimacy? This can be
something interesting to talk about. You see, a fear of intimacy is in many cases, in many ways,
a form of emotional unavailability. And so, let's go ahead and look at this. Let's go ahead and talk
about all of this. By the way, if you do want to learn more about emotional unavailability,
we do have a video playlist on the topic of emotional unavailability right up there.
Feel free to check it out if you want to. But anyway, let's go ahead and get into this. So, the
first way you can tell the first sign that your ex is afraid of intimacy is if they don't talk
about their own feelings. They might talk about other things out there. They might talk about
news. They might talk about sports. They might talk about TV shows, or movies, or what someone
said or did or whatever. But if they have a hard time talking about their own feelings,
their own emotions, their own experiences in a meaningful sort of way, then that definitely could
imply a fear of intimacy. Obviously, if they're not going to open up and share how they feel,
that implies that there's a part of them that either is unaware of how they feel,
which is something to think about, or some part of them that doesn't feel comfortable opening up and
sharing how they feel. Because that, of course, is a form of intimacy and they might be afraid
of being open and vulnerable and sharing that sort of transparency and vulnerability with you.
The second sign that your ex is afraid of intimacy is if they don't have a lot of relationship
history. Now, obviously, if you're a younger person, or if your ex is a younger person,
they might not have a lot of relationship history anyway. So, not going to hold that over them,
but if they're an older person 30s, 40s or above, and they've never been in a relationship or they
have only been in a short relationship or two or something, that just shows that there's probably
something going on that we don't necessarily know what it is without having some more info. But
it could be that they're afraid of actually opening up and being intimate emotionally with
someone else. Obviously, a good functioning relationship does require emotional intimacy.
It requires the people in the relationship to open up and share their feelings and all of that. I
mean, otherwise, why be in a relationship? I mean, I guess there's the physical reasons, but there's
other ways you can get those needs met if you know what I mean. And if your ex really wants
to have a relationship, they're going to need to have some sort of intimacy. I mean, obviously,
they were in a relationship with you, so there's that. But if you look back at their prior history,
were they in relationships before? Were those relationships significant? Were they short
little flings? Were they just like long gaps of being single? These are some things to look for
to see if your ex is afraid of intimacy. The third thing that your ex might do if
they're afraid of intimacy, is they always seem to keep themselves busy or distracted.
They might just have a busy, hectic life. They might just have a lot of things going on.
Most of the time, these are things that are of our own creation.
Whether that is always being busy with work or chores or something like that. Sure, some people
just have really crazy stressful jobs, but let's be honest, a lot of us have intentionally chosen
the careers that we have gone into, anyone could easily just go get a non-stressful career, right?
But if your ex is intentionally choosing a very high stress career that requires a lot of stuff
of them, a lot of their energy, then that could definitely imply a certain fear of intimacy,
and that they all are looking for things to keep them preoccupied, keeping them busy. It's
not just work too. It could be other things as well too, like personal dramas or things
that are always happening superficially around them, in their life, hobbies, things like that.
These are things that allow them to focus their attention, focus their emotional energy on
something outside of them. And they also allow them to deflect any of that curiosity about
them onto something else. Like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I just don't have time to deal with this because of
this drama over here in my friend group, or this drama over here with my family,
or this drama at work or whatever." That is definitely something that unemotionally or
someone who has intimacy issues might do, not saying this is necessarily true with your ex,
because again, these are sometimes things that are out of our control. We can't always
choose our family or we can't always choose other circumstances in our lives.
And so, if there is just this dramatic stuff going on, maybe it's outside of their control.
But many times we do have more control than we realize because we can always
choose how we're going to respond to these dramatic things that show up in our lives.
The fourth sign that your ex is afraid of intimacy, is that they have a tendency to push
people away, especially when things get tough, especially when they start to get too close,
they tend to push people away. This, of course, is like a really super, classic way that someone
tries to create that emotional distance is by creating their physical distance. And so, if your
ex is pushing people away, maybe you, potential you, although granted if they were your ex
they might be just pushing you away because of issues related to the relationship. But
if they are pushing you away when you are in a relationship together, if they are pushing
you away for no real good reason, then yeah, they might just have a fear of intimacy. True.
And the fifth sign is that your ex in the past has picked unhealthy partners. Except for you,
right? Except for you. No, I mean, generally a lot of the people that I work with are really cool
people. I'm just being a little bit of a jokester there. But if you look back at their history,
if they do have past relationship history and you look at their history, it's like, "Oh yeah, my
previous partner is a narcissist, and my previous partner before that had this thing that was going
on or whatever." And you just look at their previous history and they have a habit of
picking unhealthy partners. That also is a sign that maybe they have emotional intimacy issues.
Because again, this allows a lot of the spotlight to be taken off of them and to be put on this
dramatic partner, this dramatic situation. And so, that also is a sign of emotional intimacy issues.
So, once again, if that is something that you are trying to navigate through with your ex,
again, not all of these things are like, yes, it's always 100% emotional intimacy issues.
There could be all sorts of reasons why someone might have drama in their life.
Some of it is of their own choosing. Some of it is just circumstance that's foisted upon them. So,
don't just think all of these is like blanket statements. But if you do need
some help navigating your ex's emotional world, and connecting with them emotionally to see if
they have the capacity for that, then our course, the Ex Solution Program could definitely
be a very valuable tool to have in your toolbox. You can learn more about the Ex Solution Program
right down below. If it seems like a good fit for you, feel free to check it out, feel free to sign
up for it. If it's not right for you, that's totally okay. But if you did like this video,
if you do like the videos that we do on this channel, please help us out with this
channel by hitting that thumbs up button and by subscribing to this channel right down below as
well too. But thank you so much. If you do want to learn more about what your ex is thinking,
then please feel free to check out this view playlist on what your ex is thinking. Or if
you want to find out more about this video right here, it could be a good video for you to check
out as well too. Anyway, please take care. Thank you so much. And I'll talk to you next time.