all right let's recast this bit put your
hands up I'm the king of the world I
will stop filming this right now I feel
like we nailed that hey welcome to the
recast I'm Micah Fox and I'm Karen Fann
and today we're going to recast the love
story classic Titanic so original cast
of the movie leo right let's have a
moment of silence for how hotties oh
this is classic leo - and like kind of
like he was like this hot leo and then
I'm like What's Eating Gilbert Grape
leo - so you could like go back and
forth between like special leo and like
really special leo I wasn't Romeo and
Juliet Leo which oh great so he was a
hot babe and then and kate winslet she
was gorgeous
so his hand on the card or I'm not part
of the steamy card or that's the only
part of the movie I really remember I
thought sex was always gonna be like
that let's get into it
I'm ready let's recast this here's
who I got for Jack we can't have Leo
anymore because he survived the Titanic
and ended up on a yacht full of younger
women and this is a controversial take
but I really feel like Gilbert Gottfried
oh my god I would watch I don't want to
know what poor woman you are casting
opposite Gilbert Godfrey and he's going
to have to kiss and make love with
you're out of your minds I guess I love
this you would watch a hundred percent
you would watch everything the way that
I watched those like dog abuse videos
like well I'd like I can't look away but
I'm not having joined let your hands on
it like I'll pay me like you're French
okay I kissed a hot young guy okay
that's who you should cast so hot like
the hottest youngest hottest guy right
now Oh God Shawn Mendes Oh why who's
ruining every Taylor Swift song about
ruining my wet dreams at night that's
for sure I love him okay you're gonna
lose Shawn Mendes is he's like a hot pop
singer and he's in all my dreams and I
love him I guess I just like an older
man
yeah you think that Gilbert is a very
older man yeah I was like 75 Oh
love it I don't really he was around in
the actual Titanic West he would he
would bring us so much knowledge to it
but it has to be a love story I'm
vetoing Gilbert no I will I will stop
filming this right now right okay fine
Shawn Mendes is Jack Dawson right ladies
you're welcome
okay so four rows are budding beautiful
love interest right her Caitlin's a
character I say Timothy Shalaby
he was in Little Women
right oh he's beautiful but now here's
my thing Timothy and Shawn Mendes that
is that's super hot that is very hot so
should we even hear your choices no we
got here wait were you gonna throw to
the wolves
okay so who's worthy of your Shawn Mindy
to recast Rose do it
bouquet Kerr who cater I was going to
recast Rose McGowan oh sure okay great
in the same name would be easy for her
to member because she was clearly lost
her mind
she shaved her head so she'd be good in
the water a great streamline of the
ocean it makes sense her to be a fast
swimmer but her and like Mendes I feel
like she note with all of her experience
with the meets you you know she's not
gonna take advantage of him even though
he's younger than her it'll be a very
consensual relationship on the great
white ocean screw consent it's a boat
it's going down and I say a lot of boat
it's Timothy shamily and Shawn Mendes
okay I don't feel that passionately
about my role as choice so I'll give you
Timmy okay so we have the greatest gay
love story of all time Gordo time to
move on to an old woman makes a through
a gay cruise right you're absolutely
right so for old Rose made by Gloria
Stewart who everybody knows the best old
rose there was no just rose in the book
who do you go for old Rose the
heartbreaker the one who drops a heart
in the ocean I decided to use Hillary
Clinton if anyone's gonna ruin an ending
it's that she always does like
why'd you do it I blew it
no waste ink you could have you could
have had something forever right and
instead you just dropped it into the
great abyss
I like the idea I chose for old rose
I love calling her old roads yeah cuz
she's so old she's so old I went with
Kathy Griffin so mean no she's white
because she's not that old just because
she has spent so much money to look 50 I
know her facelifts are older than she is
she's so old so wouldn't she be like a
fiery cuz she could still have the red
hair just nagging about all the times
she got laid yeah and she's a gay icon
so that like this is all tiny goes
whether we try to or not right the gay
cruise Kathy Griffin's headlining a
beret all right so I think we go to
mattheum said a hill that's so tough
because hillary off she's such a
disappointment
garbage on camera though like she's not
going to sell that scene no you're right
all right you're right okay all right I
give it you're right Kathy Griffin Kathy
you're welcome I'm getting you work she
needs it she's always complaining you're
right now we got to recast Cal Hockley
the the Billy Zane character the
eyebrows of the film okay so I think I
have the perfect recast for this I'm
gonna give it to you because you're
losing already whatever it is it's not
over till it's over
well I've got Martin shkreli burn
Torelli yeah AIDS pill guys pill guy
he's such a poet he is like truly the
biggest villain we have in it but I
think his intentions initially weren't
that bad I think he was like I'm gonna
drive the price up and then it'll go
down for all the aid you're being such a
roses mom right now all right fine
again like these people don't have a lot
of experience on camera
other than testifying in front of
Congress or whatever okay Hollywood
doesn't use actors anymore it's all
about their social media and olive wing
he's an influencer oh yeah it's 750
dollars a pill that is a Cal Hockley
move you started with Gilbert Godfried
it ended with AIDS pill guy I'm just
like your brain is nuts who do you got
Mario Lopez a thief later I was sort of
going with like a Latino theme when I
started I was like Shawn Mendes will get
like Mario's like the older version oh
sure you're going for the demos oh yeah
I'm trying to be a casting director demo
pull politicians and AIDS pill guy
listen
the news has become our new
entertainment I'll find you can have it
yes that's a typing Martin shkreli let's
shkreli
his name hang up the whole Call Sheet
shkreli he'll do it too okay so coming
soon to a theater near nobody we have
Jack being played by Carens shawn mendes
shawn mendes oh i'm going face to face
with the gorgeous timothy shallow me as
rose old rose we have Cathy graphic
griffin and then Cal Hockley the blazing
character played by Martin shkreli aka
AIDS pill guy that's what we'll actually
say in the credits I love it I get it
let's watch it I would watch it I mean I
hours of it three hours Celine Dion
constructed the song cuz no one can
rocket amirite