I guess I got lucky 'cause I'm kind of built like a Sherman tank.
The suits are very resilient.
I mean, they, they… do not smell good.
Wow, they don't smell good. But… very resilient.
You smell good to me.
Yeah, which, you know, is surprising
because I don't have a sense of smell that good
ever since the, you know, since the… the accident.
If it's not too… too much too soon, what happened?
Oh, well…
I was on my honeymoon in Bermuda,
and my then-wife, she says,
"Jer," she says, "well, how about we go skinny-dip snorkelling?"
And I say, "That sounds fun. Let's go buns up."
And we took off our clothes,
we jumped in the water, and what we didn't know
is that we were swimming over a radioactive coral reef.
Is that right?
And up jumps a radioactive crab, bites me in the genitals.
-Oh, man. -Rest is history.
And she immediately left me.
-Her loss. -Anyway…
I went into a life of crime.
I don't know, it brings up some kind of questions.
You tell me that story. Are you…?
I mean, are you fully a miscreant, or…?
-I'm not crazy about labels. -Yeah.
But, yeah, I do get that a lot.
What I usually… I say I'm half-creant.
-Half-Korean. -Half-creant.
Oh, I thought you said half-Korean.
You're not the first one to… Yeah. But no.
Either one would be wildly interesting, but half-creant, I like that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Hey…
I thought we had a real nice connection there at the liquor store.
You know, I don't know if it's…
just because I got a lot of family up and down the East Coast, or…
-Oh, yeah? -Maybe it's the…
the smell of Old Bay has always kind of…
just done something to me, kind of made me warm and fuzzy.
It's a great smell.
I look at you and I just think somewhere…
inside those kind of yoked, strong…
glistening shells…
is a heart of a really good man-crab.
How about a toast, huh? To me, right?
-To you. -Come here.
-It's… -Hang on one second.
-Can I give you a little…? -No, no. I'm not a child.
But sometimes I do need to… drink it like it's cocoa.
They're super powerful, but let's try it.
Cheers to me. Huh?
Son of a b****. Goddammit!
Oh, don't be rude.
Eat your dinner. Thank you.
Show's over. Show's over.
I keep thinking I've got a handle on it.
I should just stick with shot glasses and things get easier for me.
-Thank you. -Thanks for that.
You got a weak glass there.
Hey there. Thank you, Carl. We'll clean that up. Don't worry about it.
-Appreciate it. -Happens all the time.
-Any decisions on food? -Well…
-If you're looking for suggestions… -Okay.
…my favourite appetiser to share, personally…
-Please. -…is the petite seafood tower.
It has everything.
Has crab claws, Dungeness crab, snow crab.
-Oh, boy. -Tiger prawns.
I didn't know we were getting food and entertainment.
-Really good. -It is funny. It's Jimmy Jokes!
Hey, are you pitching the tower, the seafood tower, to a half-crab.
-Oh, Jesus. -Recommending that to me, huh?
Boy, that takes a lot of stones.
What is this, the cannibal table?
You gonna offer me a 32-year-old woman named Lydia?
Because I'm 32!
I believe it, and, no, I won't offer you that.
I'll be more sensible next time.
Why don't you connect with your guests a little bit better?
I am so sorry, sir. I didn't see your pincers.
And I apologise for raising my voice.
But I've got, you know, bit on the ball bag by a radioactive crab
and I used to love shellfish,
so my fuse is a little short.
This is a trigger environment for me.
-I understand. -Okay?
I'm gonna need a minute. Why don't you take off?
No problem.
They're just jealous.
Because of who I'm sitting with, maybe.
Anything on that menu look good to you?
You know, I was thinking about having the chicken, but…
I was afraid you might be half-chicken.
Ah, no, no.
No, no. Just, just crab… and man.
A lot of man.
I was gonna order the chicken too,
but, unfortunately, I like my chicken
the way you get it in the crab traps, and that's raw.
-What happened? -I just got sort of…
Do you like raw chicken too?
Ever since… kind of what I've gone through,
physically, I've had a…
kind of insatiable craving for raw chicken myself.
Come here.
So, you tracked me down, you know?
What do you wanna know?
I just need to know whose side you're on.
Oh-oh.
What are you doing?
I'm just buttering your knuckle.