How many of you watched the Oscars the other night?
Did you watch it?
[APPLAUSE]
Unfortunately, I did not win.
Fortunately, I was not nominated.
So it would have been weird if I did win.
But I didn't win.
I was at a--
I hate talking about stuff like this.
But I was at a very, very exclusive party,
like a very exclusive Oscar party.
It was just a--
I mean, small, very, very small.
It was me and Portia.
[LAUGHTER]
And we were at our house.
And we had an open bar.
And we had red carpet, because I spilled wine.
[LAUGHTER]
And it's so much fun to watch at home.
We didn't have to dress up.
We just sat on our couch in our finest sweat pants.
And then, because I these people, I'm watching the show.
And then I'm texting as things were happening.
Because I'm friends with these-- because I
thought Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig were hilarious.
So I'm texting them.
And then I texted Brad Pitt.
Because I loved his speech.
And I love him.
I was happy for him.
I texted Martin Scorsese's eyebrows.
[LAUGHTER]
I texted Portia to go to the kitchen
to get some more popcorn.
I sent a fax to Robert De Niro.
Parasite was the big winner of the night.
And so I texted Bong Joon-ho's translator.
And then Bong Joon-ho's translator would text him.
And then Bong Joon-ho's would text his translator.
And then Bong Joon-ho's translator would text me.
Long story short, I sent him a nude.
I haven't heard back.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't know why.
[APPLAUSE]
Parasite won four Oscars.
It's a movie-- did you see Parasite, anybody?
Yeah, yeah, it's a really good movie.
It's a movie about poor people who
have to live in a rich person's basement.
And I watched that.
And it really made me think, I should check my basement.
There were a lot of good movies this year
1917, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
Did you see Jojo Rabbit?
Anybody see Jojo Rabbit.
I loved that movie so much if you haven't seen it,
it is fantastic.
And the writer and director, Taika--
Taika Waititi, his name is very hard to say.
Taika Waititi-- I guess it's not once you say it.
Taika Waititi, he won for best adapted screenplay.
And I wanted him here today.
So I texted my producer, said, bring him to me.
And Taika Waititi is here.
He'll be here today later on.
And you will love him.
You will love this movie.
And the star of the movie, this 12-year-old adorable,
amazing little actor, Roman Griffin Davis,
is here, as well.
And so they'll be here a little later on.
[APPLAUSE]
Congratulations to all the winners from Sunday.