>> James: HI!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE!
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO SEE US!
NOW, YOU HAVE A LOT IN COMMON YOU TWO.
YOU ARE BOTH FROM THE SOUTH.
YOU ARE SOUTHERNERS.
>> WE ARE.
>> James: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS?
FROM THAT PART OF THE WORLD?
I'VE NEVER BEEN.
>> CAN I HAVE SOME MORE ALCOHOL.
>> James: REALLY.
WOW.
>> YEAH.
>> James: SOUNDS JUST LIKE LONDON.
>> YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN EXPRESSIONS?
>> MY GRANDFATHER ONCE DESCRIBED MY HIGH SCHOOL GIRLFRIEND AS
BEING AS CUTE AS A SPECKLED PUP UNDER A STUDEBAKER.
>> James: THAT'S THE STUFF I'M TALK ABOUT.
I MET SOMEONE FROM THE SOUTH.
SHE SPOKE TO ME AND SAID, I WAS TRYING TO PARK IN A SPACE, AND I
COULDN'T GET IN AND SHE SAID, OH, DARLING, BLESS YOUR HEART.
AND I THOUGHT, THAT'S THE NICEST EXPRESSION YOU COULD HAVE TO
WALK AROUND -- >> IT'S NOT.
AN INSULT.
>> James: REALLY?
WHAT WAS SHE SAYING?
>> LIKE YOU POOR STUPID PERSON.
>> James: OH.
LIKE "BLESS YOUR HEART" IS LIKE, OH -- YOU KNOW, LIKE THAT.
>> IT GETS YOU OUT OF ANYTHING.
YOU COULD SAY, SHE'S A HORRIBLE PERSON, BLESS HER HEART.
>> James: I TOOK IT AS, OH, MY GOD, SHE WANTS TO BLESS MY
HEART.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
>> NO, SHE DOES NOT.
>> James: I WAS DOING SOMETHING VERY STUPID AT THE
TIME SO IT DOES MAKE SENSE.
>> YEAH.
>> James: WE HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR
BRILLIANT COMEDY SPECIAL "RELATABLE," IT'S SO FANTASTIC.
IT'S SO WONDERFUL.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) IT'S JUST GREAT NOW.
NOW, TO PREPARE FOR YOUR FIRST SPECIAL.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DID STANDUP?
>> 15 YEARS AGO.
>> James: 15 YEARS AGO.
YEAH.
>> James: YOU PERFORMED SOME --
>> OH, OH, IT'S GOING TO BE -- OH, NOW WE DON'T KNOW HOW WE
FEEL ABOUT IT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: YOU PERFORMED SECRET
SHOWS AROUND LOS ANGELES.
>> WE DID, YOU CAME TO A SECRET SHOW.
>> James: IT WAS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.
HOW NERVOUS WERE YOU GOING BACK TO IT?
>> THAT MUCH.
I WAS THAT NERVES, WHAT YOU JUST DID.
I WAS NERVOUS BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN 15 YEARS AND I HADN'T
WRITTEN IN A LONG TIME AND I THOUGHT, WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY AND, FIRST OF ALL, WHERE AM I GOING
TO TRY IT OUT.
I CHOSE LARGO.
IT WAS A SMART AUDIENCE AND I WANTED A SMART KIND OF SNOBBY
AUDIENCE BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT PEOPLE TO JUST GO, OH, IT'S
ELLEN.
I WANTED THEM TO JUDGE ME PROPERLY.
>> James: YOU WANT TO EARN THE LAUGHS.
>> EXACTLY.
AND ALSO, LARGO, THEY REALLY WATCH FOR CELL PHONES, SO I KNEW
NOBODY WAS GOING TO GET PHI -- BECAUSE I HAD TO WORRY ABOUT MY
STUFF GETTING OUT.
I WENT TO LARGO'S ALL THE TIME.
I LOVE IT.
>> James: IN MY DEFENSE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED
TO FILM STUFF.
LIKE, I DIDN'T KNOW, SO I DELETED IT STRAIGHTAWAY.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT I WAS PUTTING MYSELF IN IT,
SO I -- YOU WERE ON STAGE, AND I WAS DOING IT LIKE THIS.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU KNOW.
>> YEAH, I SAW YOU DOING THAT.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING, BUT NOW I REALIZE.
>> James: THAT'S IT.
TALKING ABOUT PERFORMING LIFE.
PATRICK, WE HAVE A VIDEO OF YOU DOING SOMETHING THAT BLEW ME
AWAY.
>> I WANT TO BE BLOWN AWAY.
>> James: TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
( BAND PLAYING ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> IT'S A FUNDRAISER WE DO.
>> James: HOW LONG HAS FREDDY MERCURY BEEN IN YOUR REPERTOIRE?
>> I'M A CLOSET FREDDY MERCURY IMPERSONATOR.
>> James: HOW ANNOYED WERE YOU WHEN BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY CAME OUT?
YOU MUST HAVE BEEN FURIOUS!
( LAUGHTER ) >> HOW GREAT WAS HE IN THAT
MOVIE?
HE WAS AWESOME.
>> HE WAS AMAZING.
( APPLAUSE ) >> I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT
APPLAUSE FOR ME.
>> OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'LL JUST TAKE ANY APPLAUSE.
I LOVE SINGING THAT STUFF.
I DO.
I GET TO PERFORM WITH MY BROTHER A COUPLE OF TIMES HERE.
BOTH MY BROTHERS IS IN A BAND.
ACTUALLY, ONE IS HERE TODAY.
WHERE ARE YOU, MARK?
THERE HE IS, ACTUALLY.
>> James: SO YOU WERE IN A BAND TOGETHER?
>> YEAH, WE SING IN A BAND TOGETHER.
WE DO CHARITY BENEFITS.
I LOVE MUSICALS, BUT I DON'T GET TO DO THEM A LOT, SO I HAVE TO
FIND OTHER VENUES TO SING, AND THAT WAS THE PONT CLAIRE FILM
FESTIVAL WHERE I JUST WANTED TO DO FREDDY MERCURY.
>> WOW, VERY IMPRESSIVE.
>> James: THANK GOD YOU DID.
AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
>> THANK YOU.
( APPLAUSE ) >> James: ELLEN, IF YOU HAD TO
BE ANY SUPERSTAR ON A STAGE, WHO WOULD YOU BE?
>> WELL, OBVIOUSLY, WILLIE NELSON.
>> James: OF COURSE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> OBVIOUSLY IS THE BEST PART OF
IT.
OBVIOUSLY.
>> James: NOW, WHEN YOU'RE GEARING UP TO DO A SPECIAL
THAT'S GOING TO LIVE ONLINE FOREVER, AND IT REALLY IS YOU
AND A MICROPHONE, HOW DO YOU CHOOSE WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR
ON STAGE?
>> WELL, YOU WEAR SOMETHING THAT IS GOING TO BE TIMELESS THAT
WILL HOLD UP THAT ALWAYS, ALWAYS WILL LOOK GOOD.
>> James: RIGHT.
BECAUSE I'VE GOT A PHOTO OF THE FIRST TIME YOU WERE ON JOHNNY
CARSON.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
YEP.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> James: HOW DID YOU DECIDE
ON THIS LOOK?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS SAY THAT IT'S REALLY EMBARRASSING
BECAUSE EVERYTHING WE DO IS, YOU KNOW, ON FILM OR PHOTOGRAPHED
AND IT'S OUT THERE FOREVER AND EVER.
BUT, AT THE TIME, THAT WAS THE FASHION, BUT I CAN'T EVEN SAY
THAT WAS EVER THE FASHION.
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW.
SIN BAD USED TO HELP ME PICK CLOTHES OUT.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THAT -- I DON'T KNOW EVEN
KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
>> James: I MEAN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE FLEEING A COUNTRY
AND YOU'VE GRABBED THE CLOSEST SHIRT, AND IT'S THE SHIRT YOU
USE FOR ART.
>> YEAH.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW -- I MEAN, I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE
THAT.
WHY WOULD I -- AND IT'S NOT ME AT ALL.
THE PANTS, IT'S CUT OFF, BUT THE PANTS WERE QUITE SOMETHING, TOO.
IT REALLY WAS SIN BAD'S FAULT.