- So I think the takeaway is that I need to date guys
who literally have no idea who Chase is.
- I think the takeaway is "no more fish oil."
- Yeah, we are off of that.
Oh, hey, did you get all the followers you needed?
- No!
I even tried making an ASMR video.
- One of those whisper videos?
Ain't right, ain't natural.
- Yeah, I actually lost followers on that video,
so now I need 10,073 by tomorrow.
- Wait.
Who's this skank?
[phone vibrating]
- Oh, my God, it's Colby.
"Wanna come hike with us, bitch?
We got an extra animal onesie."
- Eww. - Hiking in onesies?
Do you know how many photos they're gonna take?
Okay, I gotta go.
I think I should do something to my hair,
'cause their hair is always so cool.
I'm just gonna--
- Are you becoming an Instagay?
- What? No. No.
I just want to book this miniseries.
Okay, bye.
Good luck on all your dates today.
- Bye.
[upbeat music]
So you've never heard of ChaseDreams
or his music? - Nah.
I don't know who that is. - Perfect.
- Only music I listen to is Phish.
Seen 'em live 712 times.
♪ ♪
- And then, like, the whole Uber
reeked of taco salad.
I'm like, "I have to give this guy five stars.
I feel so bad."
[all laughing] - Great story, five stars.
But, guys, uh, right here is very picturesque.
Could we take a picture here, maybe?
- Cary, you're seriously cracking me up.
[laughter]
- No, I haven't heard of ChaseDreams or Phish.
I--I don't like music. - Hot.
What do you like? - Books.
Books, I love.
I love reading books, talking about books.
- But then I was like, instead of just telling her
the truth, I'll just let her have it.
Like, it doesn't hurt me. You know what I mean?
- Hey, guys, what about this?
What about this?
What a funny image, right?
Imagine scrolling past this.
Me as a hot cow. - Oh, my God, a baby bird!
[all gasp, exclaim]
- Out here? - Oh, my God!
all: Aww!
- So nice to meet you.
Congrats again on getting rescued from that basement!
- You okay?
Can I get you anything?
- Yeah, you can knock me out and wake me when I'm dead.
- Horse troubles? - What?
No, didn't you just see
all those awful dates I was on?
- Yeah.
Not a winner in the bunch. - No.
I--I just started dating because I was so consumed
with work, and then it just ended up being more work.
- You know what my sister did? - I don't.
- My sister was so fed up with the dating scene
that she posted an ad saying that she would be
wearing a red dress standing in Madison Square Park
holding a single red rose,
and she invited any handsome bachelor
to come by, sweep her off her feet.
She's now been married eight years.
- [scoffs] Nuh-uh.
That is so dumb.
I would never do that in a million--
- Oh, my God, yes.
- Okay. Beautiful, right?
- Yep, so let's take a picture.
- Huh?
- I said let's take a picture
right here with this beautiful...lake.
- Oh, we're just here for the nature.
It's No-Post Sunday.
- "No-Post Sunday"?
Then why the hell am I hanging out with you?
- Excuse me? - Cameron, what's happening?
Cary's not being funny.
- ♪ If ever ♪
♪ Love was real ♪
- Are you...Brooke?
- Wow.
♪ ♪
You're gorgeous.
- So are you.
- I can't believe it.
I mean, you knew nothing about me,
and you saw an ad on Craigslist and--
and decided to take a chance on a stranger
in Madison Square Park.
That's...
pathetic.
You're a loser. I'm a loser.
I'm sorry.
I have to leave.
- I'm a loser?
- If we're not taking pictures,
what's with these stupid onesies?
- They're comfy.
Not everything we do is to get a picture.
- Cary, were you just, like, using us
to leech off our followers?
- Cary, we thought you liked us
for who we are, not our work.
- You call what you do "work"?
All you do is get naked and post pictures
and have sex with each other!
- We don't have sex with each other.
- What? Why don't you?
both: We're virgins. - And I'm straight.
- And I used to be fat but now I have two nieces.
- That's not a thing, Drake.
Okay, that's the problem with you guys.
You don't do anything!
I actually do something.
I act. - Like what?
What are you in? - I'm trying to do something,
but the way this business works is you gotta do stupid shit
like this to even get to that level.
So I'm gonna go over here,
and I'm gonna pose like a little pouty cow,
and you're gonna take a picture and [BLEEP] tag me!
Wait, are you filming? Please don't film.
- "Do not trust this thirsty..."
- Don't. - "Shady bitch..."
- Cameron, no.
- "@CaryDubek."
- No, please don't post that. Please don't.
- Sad. - Please don't.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Wait, I just got 100 new followers.
Could you actually tweet that?