Hi, I'm Kristen Bell.
You might remember me from the movie Pootie Tang.
Speaking of pootie tang, I'm here today
in a labor and delivery room.
Because what's more beautiful than bringing
a brand new slimy, squished up little person into the world?
Nothing.
That was rhetorical.
I've done it twice, so I feel pretty confident I
can help another mama do it.
Plus, I'm hoping she'll share her epidural.
Let's go catch some babies.
[MUSIC - "CHARGE"]
(SINGING) To all you moms out there, keep doing it right.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This is good.
This is me.
Passing out prizes.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, everyone.
Hi.
Look what you did.
I know.
How long ago did this happen?
It's probably, like, been like maybe an hour and a half ago.
No, 3 and 1/2 hours.
I don't want to start a fight.
I really don't.
That's not why I came in here.
Truly.
And how do you feel?
I'm rockin'.
We were rockin' it.
Did they give you an upper?
No.
I feel like you look great for a couple hours after.
I was like--
Well, for all of your hard work, I brought you a gift basket.
Mr. And Mrs. Johnson actually brought it.
But this is from Johnson's, and they know babies.
They are committed to providing the gentlest products
for your sweet new little chickens.
And now their products are improved inside and out.
They will get you through all of the dirty business that
will come with these newbies.
Oh, thank you.
I also have one more thing for you.
Hey, guys.
Would you guys look out the window
and cover your ears for one second?
Yeah.
This is an ice pack for--
I think you know what--
down there.
Do you have names for it?
No.
I have so many names.
Let me see, I have hoo-ha, honey pot, baby cave, man eater,
baby cannon, hand warmer, lady junk.
Dad, you know what, why don't you turn around as well.
Yeah.
Nether regions, pink taco, roast beef curtains--
if we're really getting graphic--
whale eye.
Pro tip.
One of the most important things to do when you're having a baby
is to suck up to the nurses.
They steer this vagina ship, so you
want to show them some love in advance.
Just as a thank you for bringing so much beautiful new life
into the world, I've brought you some treats.
Oh, thank you.
There's a bunch of goodies in here.
I also brought some DVDs of Frozen for everyone.
There you are.
Thank you so much.
I also brought some head shots of Ted Danson.
[CHATTER]
What a fox, right?
What a fox.
OK, tell me what I need to know.
Scarlett is giving me a lot of signals that she's ready.
She's ready.
Yes.
Ooh, there's a lot going on down here, guys.
There's a lot.
Tell me what I do.
Are you ready for her to push, doctor?
Yes.
Push.
Push, Scarlett.
It's coming, Scarlett.
You're doing so good.
You're doing great, Scarlett.
How am I doing?
You're doing great.
OK, here she comes.
Here she comes.
Oh!
Oh my goodness.
[IN SLOW MOTION] Push.
[IN SLOW MOTION] Push, Scarlett.
[IN SLOW MOTION] Scarlett.
[IN SLOW MOTION] Push, Scarlett.
Push hard.
[SCREAMING]
There it is.
[SCREAMING]
Get her up there.
Oh, you did it.
Perfect.
She's got a leash.
Congratulations.
Nice to meet you, little one.
I hope you're the baby that's going to save the planet.
No pressure.
You never know.
[BABY'S HEART BEATING]
Hi, mama.
Hi, I'm Kristen.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
Thank you for having me here.
Anytime.
No, not any time.
How are you doing?
I think I'm doing good.
Yeah, I mean, they have good medicine.
Oh, you got your epidural?
Yeah.
Ooh, girl.
I'm ready for my epidural as well.
You can just let the doctor know whenever he's got time.
How are we doing?
Hello, doctor.
Hi, darling.
How are you?
Good.
How are you?
Good.
How many vaginas do you think you've seen?
In the hospital.
Oh, in the hospital.
A lot.
Yeah.
Yeah, let me check.
Oh, it's way up there.
I'll be back, and I'll come check.
Well, guys.
Lot of hurry up and wait, huh?
Mm-hm.
I've got another patient in the other room.
But, you know, I'm here for you.
Do I page you?
Since I'm not technically on staff here,
I'm going to leave this with you.
And you can just be like, Kristen!
And then, just call me if you need me.
OK.
Let's head down the hall.
There's a woman that's really close.
That's what doctors do
Raise the bed up.
Listen, pay attention.
I want to get this kid out, OK?
Are you OK with them coming in?
My heart's racing so fast.
We'll bring her in.
You go first.
Camera's gotta go in first.
Here we go, and we're going.
Let's go.
Gimme a push.
Go hard.
Holy [BLEEP].
Presented by the new Johnson's, improved inside and out.