Somebody hurt you a year ago 10 years ago or a lifetime ago and somehow deep down inside you
can't shake it sometimes you say it never happened but you know deep down inside it did happen
so you try to deny it and that doesn't work you suppress it and somehow it keeps popping
out and sometimes it pops out an embarrassing fashion you know the deep down inside something
happened back there that you can really identify in fact you can point your finger to the person
and what seemingly was merely a little hurt in the beginning somehow as solidified like
concrete in your mind it's just there it lays there it hangs there the burden of it is there
you'd like to shake it you'd like to get rid of it but somehow you just can't do it
you got hurt so badly that somehow you feel like I will never be able to overcome this well I want
to tell you my friend yes you can because you see if you don't overcome the hurts of the past
what you'll find out is this those hurts can do great great harm to your life
so what we have to do is we have to decide how we're going to handle this hurt
am I going to handle this hurt in such a way that it harms me in every aspect of my life or am I going
to learn how to handle this hurt in such a fashion that I can take it and I can handle it properly
and be able to learn something from it glean something from it grow up as a result of it
and not allow it to hurt me because God does not want us to respond to hurts in such a fashion
that we are devastated in our life lose our witness and our testimony go through life bearing
some kind of emotional baggage that we are never able to escape and our great physician
says I got the prescription he said what's happening is you get hurt by somebody and
it it turns to anger and that anger eventually if not dealt with right it turns to bitterness
and if that bitterness just stays there it becomes what the bible calls a hardened heart
and it changes who we are as people it changes who I trust or don't it changes who I let in
or don't it changes how I respond out of my insecurities it changes how I crush people
with my words it changes how if I just meet you I start off not trusting you instead of trusting you
it fires off my insecurities and all kinds of it changes this hardened heart
that comes from bitterness it changes who we are and how we live
and the great physician says I got the prescription here it is you don't have to
live that way here's the prescription be kind and compassionate to one another and here's the word
forgive forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you
the great physician says I got the prescription and it's forgiveness and if you can actually go
through this but he doesn't he doesn't pull punches he said I'm not going to play around
it's a painful process sometimes to forgive and depending on the wound or the hurt that
you're trying to forgive for it can be even more painful I'm not coming to you
from a place of I don't know any hurt now I don't know your hurt but I know that it hurts
I know what that feels like and I know that God says I want to take you through this process
called forgiveness because you can get rid of that hurt which will get rid of that anger which you
get rid of that bitterness which will begin to soften your heart and change the way you
live he says I got the prescription it's called forgiveness and it's not easy to talk about but
if you can actually walk through it it'll change things forgiveness is about freedom
it is not about justifying the other person's actions it's not us saying it was okay that you
left it was okay that you abused it was okay that you betrayed it was okay that you lied
it was okay that no we're not we're not justifying anybody's actions by forgiving them gotta be gotta
be clear on this we're not letting anybody off the hook God says don't worry justice is my job wrath
is my job judgment is my job I got you there are consequences for people who hurt my kids I got you
nobody's getting let off the hook here it's not a guarantee of reconciliation it's not a guarantee
that we'll ever do life together again because forgiving doesn't mean we keep doing life together
right listen to this do not repay anyone evil for evil be careful to do what is right in the
eyes of everyone if it is possible as far as it depends on you live at peace with everyone do
not take revenge my dear friends but leave room for God's wrath for it is written it
is mine to avenge I will repay says the Lord and and until we can actually surrender our right to
punish the person who hurt us we haven't actually forgiven here's what I here's what I keep hearing
oh I forgave him for that but then later in a conversation you go oh
really am I really going to trust you because I couldn't trust you last year
oh is that really what you mean because I think we've been here before haven't we
oh now I can trust you now now I can trust you oh I did I forgave you I'm still going to make
you pay for it you've got to actually forgive and say I'm not going to make you pay for that
mistake anymore that's what forgiveness looks like and that's when what's going to allow us
to continue in this relationship and see all God wants us to see man this is huge
we got to surrender our right to punish let's define what forgiveness is not forgiveness
is not justifying the other person's actions forgiveness is not forgetting it
it is not denying it it is not excusing what that person's done to you
you see if I forgive someone here's what I've done I've said I deliberately and willfully lay down
put aside this debt that you owe me as a result of somehow the way you hurt me and so I'm going
to lay it aside I put it down no longer hold it against them anymore now does that mean
that uh everything is absolutely correct between us not necessarily because you see
listen carefully you and I are not responsible for someone's response to our forgiveness you may be
forgiving God may heal you and the other person who did something to you may not ever be healed
they might not be interested in healing their malice is just as strong today as it was yesterday
and so therefore they may never change but you know what you and I are responsible for changing
no matter what the other person does we are not responsible for another person's actions
they are responsible their own responses they give an account to God for their own responses
and then accept the forgiveness that you have given to the other person as done and my friend
from that moment on the healing process will take place in your life begin to take place in
your life and what could have was harming you and hurting you far more deeply than you realize
the healing process will begin to take place and God will set you free you know sometimes we think
that we're actually hurting the person who hurt us by holding on to the hurt and holding a grudge
that somehow me being mad long after the event happened that that's somehow making you miserable
all right it's like drinking poison and hoping you kill them with it
you're only hurting yourself with your anger let me ask you this is it worth it
is it worth it holding on to that grudge is it worth it being bitter bitterness is not worth it
resentment is not worth it the price is too high you need to not go one more second without dealing
with it right now how do I let go of a hurt that I don't want to let go of what do I do with my hurt
first thing number one give it to God give it to God let him handle it unload it on the Lord
well you say it like this God this hurt is too heavy for me to carry and I'm not smart
enough to know what's the right thing to do about it and I'll probably make a mess of it
so father I'm giving you this hurt that person hurt me and I would like for you to handle it
it's now out of my hands I wash my hands it's in your hands that's what you say you give it to God
who can handle it better you are God never avenge yourselves leave it to God
there's evidence in scripture and evidence from looking at other people's lives
that no matter what kind of a past you have you still have a great future out in front
of you but you must let go of the past and for some people that means forgiving someone else
for some people it may mean forgiving yourself or actually receiving the forgiveness of God
so many people are mad at themselves and they won't forgive themselves for mistakes that
they've made and things that they've done and honestly and truly until you let go of the past
you really cannot take hold of the future that God has for you every great man and
woman has to rise above the pain of their past to reach their God-given destiny
there's a couple of sayings that I like one is until you let the past die it will not
let your future live you have to forgive even yourself you have to believe that the blood of
Jesus is greater than your sin and it is for where sin does abound grace does much more abound
we have to forgive people and forgive ourselves and stop letting the past have control over our
lives another saying that I like is forgiveness doesn't make them right it just makes us free
I'm not saying they're right and some people even though I forgive them I'm not going to let them in
my life to get another shot at me that that would not be wise but I'm not going to keep
rehearsing and nursing the hurts and offenses of my past and letting the devil keep coming
and condemning me for the things I've done wrong those things don't have any power over me anymore
I'm going to let them go and I heard this saying one time never follow a general without scars
and thank God our general has scars don't ever don't ever follow some poser that pretends
as though they don't have any problems and they're above everything don't ever do that
whatever has wounded you whatever you hide
whatever happened see when Jesus shows Thomas his scars I'm glad he kept his scars
I'm glad he kept that part I'm glad he didn't stay dead but I'm also glad that he came out scarred
because that gives me hope Jesus was healed of his deadly wounds but he was not healed of his scars
the scar became a testimony of God's ability to heal
when Jesus rose from the dead he was healed of his deadly wounds but God did not take the scars away
we want complete restoration where nobody knows we ever had an issue
we want such restoration that nobody knows that our perfect lives were not perfect we want
everybody to think that we have the picture perfect family the picture-perfect marriage
the picture-perfect life and there has nothing because of my great faith ever come to my home
but scars are a testimony of God's ability to heal deadly wounds scars mean this is what I overcame
this is what how bad it was and this is how good God has healed me and I'm not ashamed of my scars
and Jesus walked into the upper room after he rose from the dead and he said some people need to see
my scars like Thomas or they'll never believe I'm saying to you quit covering up your scars
they remind you of what you've been healed of
wear them as a badge of honor the scar proves how bad it was at one point hallelujah
I'd be a fool to walk around and act like I've never had marriage problems
I've never had family problems I've never wanted to quit
but what you do is you look at the devil and you say you see these scars they're proof that
you've tried your best with mortal wounds to destroy me to wipe me out to destroy my family
but no weapon formed against us could prosper because I serve a God who heals deadly wounds
quit acting like you're perfect will God be able to use us if we have an unpleasant past
well to be honest I think it's easier for him to use people who have actually experienced some
problems in their life than those maybe who had it absolutely perfect simply for the reason that you
can have compassion more if you've gone through something yourself now that doesn't mean that God
can't use people that haven't been through all that because he certainly can but I know all the
bad stuff that happened to me God has used it now and so what does the bible say that he he works
all things together for our good it doesn't have to be good for God to turn it into something good
and that's really one of the greatest promises in the word and one that we really need to
think about more no matter what it is if it's my mistake if it's something somebody did to me
God can take it if we what does it say if we love him and we want his will that's it just
love him and want his will and give it to him and he'll be able to take it and make something good of it